Liontamer Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Formal stuff: Contact Information Your ReMixer name: jnWake. Your email address: This one... Collab ReMixer name: Argle. Submission Information Name of game(s) arranged: Final Fantasy IX. Name of arrangement: Into the Sandstorm. Name of individual song(s) arranged: Cleyra Trunk. Hi, This is my second submission to the site! I originally made this track for the FFIX project but it didn't make it... Anyway, this mix is a progressive metal or something like that version of the Cleyra Trunk theme. The original is a mysterious slow paced song, while mine is a heavier and faster (but not fast) version of it. I tried to keep the eerie harmonies from the original but the mix may feel a bit liberal. Argle provides a violin section in the middle of the song. Anyway, to make judging easier I'll make a breakdown here. First, for the original ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XacP6hf29UA ) Section 1 - 0:00 - 0:28 : This is the "main melody" of the song to me. I use the initial ascension (A - A - B - G) a lot in my mix. Also, the first part has A and F as low notes, which is also an element present in the mix. Section 2 - 0:29 - 0:58 : My mix has a version of the diminished arpeggios here. Section 3 - 1:49 - 1:56 : Weird descending chords! Section 4 - 1:57 - 2:24 : Some sort of arpeggios here too. And now, my mix: 0:00 - 0:58: "Eerie" intro. E. Piano plays the Section 1 notes. 0:59 - 1:25: Heavy section based on Section 4 (E. Piano again). 1:26 - 2:09: E. Piano based on Section 1 (here I use the A-F thing I mentioned there). I like the piano effect at 1:47. 2:10 - 2:34: The Argle part! The guitar part is based on Section 2. I like how the violin keeps playing when this section ends. Next section is a repeat. 2:56 - 3:17: Yet another part based on section 2 (the E. Piano plays the arpeggios). 3:18 - 3:40: Here the mix gets a bit liberal. The E. Piano is using the same motive from Section 1. 3:41 - 3:54: Finally, Section 3! Not the same chords, but same idea. 3:55 - 4:38: Synth solo. The chord progression follows the idea from Section 3. Outro is a repeat. Hope you like it! Gah, forgot the arrangement link: . ------------------------------------------------------------ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XacP6hf29UA Edited September 7, 2013 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 The source breakdown was VERY appreciated, thanks. Great source tune choice; one that takes several listens to wrap one's head around, but it's a very unique piece to go for. First things first, this arrangement is sweet. From a compositional standpoint, I dug it. The guitar chugs from :59-1:25 were conceptually OK, but the writing was undermined by how scrawny they sounded. Not a dealbreaker, but unfortunate. Actually, listening through more, the mixing quality really varies from section to section. The supporting guitar at 1:46 sounded puny again, and they also added a lot of mud to the soundscape. On the slight plus side, the string samples sounded so fake that the muddiness actually was beneficial to that part by not exposing the fakeness as much. There's the one drop of lemonade from that lemon. Overall, the mixing was a negative, not a positive. Onto Adam's appearance at 2:10, and I dislike the mixing even more. EVERYTHING sounded too distant and lo-fi. Even if it's purposeful to create contrast with the sections before and after it, it's not executed well. The violin performance was alright, but should have been tighter, plus it was mixed too dryly. This section would sound better if it were louder, yet wetter and more upfront in the soundscape. Chugs were thin at 2:56, and while I liked the drum writing, the soundscape felt a bit too sparse, IMO. Maybe someone will agree, but it's potentially up for debate. The cymbals at 3:18-3:29 helped fill things out for a bit. Nice deal at 3:41. Not really feeling the synth lead, but it's just personal taste and doesn't affect my vote there. The gradual escalation of things and the interplay with the chords until 4:37 were all well-written. Exposed fake strings at 4:58 for the finish isn't how I would have gone out, but we'll live. Yeesh, I feel like I'm nitpicking the hell out of it, but there's SOMETHING about the production that's really hurting much of this. And that sucks because I LOVE the arrangement. I know Vig would have some good production advice, but really I'm just looking for someone to confirm or deny that I'm grandpa'ing the production. I'd live if this passed as is on the strength of the arrangement, but it really sounds too muted and distant to me. Damn. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted August 30, 2013 Share Posted August 30, 2013 Larry's right; the arrangement itself is super sweet, and I you've got some fantastic writing which makes this way more fun to listen to the source. The problem definitely comes from the production. For a 'metalish' track, I wasn't feeling any power out of the guitars or drums, and the violin section definitely sounds way to distant and dry. Another nit to add to the pick is the cymbal actually comes in pretty clearly compared to everything else, and almost becomes too much of a focus at time. Overall I think you're very much on the right track, but now it's going to be about finessing the production. Definitely work on tweaking this one up, and maybe consider getting some feedback from WIP forums. Send this back to us! NO (resubmit, please) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted September 5, 2013 Share Posted September 5, 2013 (edited) Yeah, this arrangement is super good. Great use of a fairly repetative source with excellent ideas implimented. Gonna echo some of the sentiments on mixing with some suggestions. Not sure what strings you're using, but I think they could sound better (and cause less mud), but cutting back on some of the low-mids and brightening them up a bit. Tasteful panning of high & low strings away from each other can help as well. 3:33 felt pretty crowded & muddy without really being that loud. I'd look at getting your drums to play nice with other elements then trying to re-mix/balance it. The transition at 2:12 felt awkward. This section definitely felt like a weak point from a production aspect. Not trying to beat a dead horse, but the violin really needs some wetness and better balancing. This section also came off pretty empty/directionless to me - both because of having only two instruments going here and because they're panned opposite. I know it's a contrast, breakdown-type section, but it really feels like another element is needed to fill it out. To sum up, awesome arrangment, but Production needs some TLC. NO resubmit, please Edited September 6, 2013 by Nutritious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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