The Triumphant Coquette (Honeybee Manor, FF7)

[XPRTNovice]

So, I wrote this a while ago intending for it to be used in the Final Fantasy VII web series, but hahahahaha. I figure I might as well work toward getting it posted.

Arrangement: The Triumphant Coquette

https://soundcloud.com/xprtnovice/the-triumphant-coquette

Source: Honeybee Manor

Thoughts?

[timaeus222]

I think until 1:10, the arrangement doesn't really progress very obviously. The pizzicato notes are more or less looped, probably with different velocities between similar chunks. It just doesn't feel like the dynamics really changed gradually, which makes the track up to that point somewhat static with an instrument swap (oboe-like woodwind to the glock) and some new notes. You might call that terraced dynamics.

At 1:14, there might be a timing issue on the glock, and at 1:26, the dynamics did another jump, but to me it feels too sudden. Perhaps if the bass frequency occupants had a slightly longer release to connect the section, or something else connected the section, it could improve how well it's working now.

Dunno if it's just me, but at 2:22 the pizzicato feels behind in rhythm. A similar dynamics jump occurs at 2:22 and 2:38 as well, and each might also benefit there from a connecting sound.

The trumpet at 3:02 sounds a little bit thin, IMO. The buildup to 3:26 was nice. That to the end is where the arrangement is strongest, for me (in terms of the effective choices you made, not the apparent energy).

Sounds good so far, just needs some detail-oriented polish and minor fixes from what I heard.

Edited September 16, 2013 by timaeus222

[Chimpazilla]

Man, it's hard to get these orchestral mixes sounding real.

The arrangement is dynamite, despite a bit of repetitiveness and/or loopiness, mainly in the first half. My biggest gripe would be with the strings. The pizz strings in the intro are very repetitive and the velocities are too similar and timing too perfect. And when you have backing strings, I hear no swells that would tell me there are humans playing them. I feel like the strings in general (including the pizz) are too loud. If you do some humanization, the volume generally should come down, with periodic upward swells. Basically same comments for the brass sections, needs humanization and volume control, especially when playing long chords.

The instrumentation I like the best here is the clarinet and the violin solo at 1:57 (but boy is it fighting to be heard over the backing stuff). Bells/glock are nice but could also benefit from some velocity variations. Some notch eqing should also help to bring lead instruments to the front and give them breathing room.

At 2:22 that loud backing layer just... stops! That gives a real sense of how badly some volume automation is needed. Beware of instrument layers stopping abruptly with no kind of fadeout or overlap, it just isn't real enough. I also hear this from 0:58 to 1:01 and again at 1:05 to 1:09, where your backing winds just stop too abruptly. They need a teeny bit of humanization, and a short fadeout.

Oh my there's a loooong deep brass note from 1:25 to 1:33... man that guy's got some superhuman breath control... (automate the volume slowly down starting at least halfway through if not sooner)

Great track! Just... put in the time to polish those strings/brass performances.

[XPRTNovice]

So, here's my secret: I'm lazy. I didn't spend ANY time proofing or editing this after I wrote it, trying to adjust the strings, etc. I almost purely played this on my keyboard and nodded and went to have a coffee. So, your suggestions are all awesome. Now I need to chain myself to my desk and force myself to get very detail oriented. I'm the same way with my writing...I hate editing. I wish I could just CREATE perfectly!

[Wiesty]

Glad to see you're going to post this joe!

[XPRTNovice]

Glad to see you're going to fix this mess and finally learn how to orchestrate joe!

Fixed!

[Argle]

So, here's my secret: I'm lazy. I didn't spend ANY time proofing or editing this after I wrote it, trying to adjust the strings, etc. I almost purely played this on my keyboard and nodded and went to have a coffee. So, your suggestions are all awesome. Now I need to chain myself to my desk and force myself to get very detail oriented. I'm the same way with my writing...I hate editing. I wish I could just CREATE perfectly!

Do things right ya lazy SOB.

[Chimpazilla]

I wish I could just CREATE perfectly!

You CAN, of course! All you need to do is add to your list of instruments you play well, the following: violin, viola, cello, bass, tuba, french horns, trombones, and glockenspiel. Hope you've got the time, and plenty of extra room in the music cave.

[timaeus222]

I'm the same way with my writing...I hate editing. I wish I could just CREATE perfectly!

Editing is like, half the fun, bro! And half the misery, I know, I feel your pain... but once the detail edits are done... you can party in your room. Hell, I do that all the time when I get my detail edits done.