Liontamer Posted March 3, 2014 Share Posted March 3, 2014 (edited) Contact Information * ReMixer name: LucasFlicky * Real name: Lucas Reis * * www.lucasflicky.com * User ID: 48572 Submission Information * Game: The Embodiment of Scarlet Devil * Remix Name: Touhou Chinese Iced-Tea * Song Name: Shangai Teahouse * Composer: ZUN * Original Song: This was originally made for a couple of touhou-tard friends of mine, as some kind of gift for both, their taste for electronic music and exotic instrumentation leaded me to this arrange, lead violins with electronic background, some solid bass, merging the personal preferences of both of them into the same song. ------------------------------------------ Edited March 20, 2014 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted March 3, 2014 Author Share Posted March 3, 2014 Interesting lo-fi opening. The bass and groove brought in at :28 sounded busy yet empty, if that makes sense. The bassline could have been pulled back, since it tends to compete with the lead, while the beats were plain & thin and didn't fill out the background enough. Not sure why the strings during part of :56-1:10 were behind the beat, but it sounded awkward. Obviously, ZUN's stuff has never been realistic, but I thought the string attacks in the arrangement still sounded too unrealistic; when the tempo is comparatively slower, robotic attacks drag the piece down more. The plodding kick beat finally dropped at 1:39, and the percussion worked better to accent the string work until 1:53. Here, the percussion pattern clicked much better with the rest of the instrumentation and was positioned in the back of the soundfield. The plain, plodding groove came back at 1:53. I liked the arrangement ideas there with the melodic lead, crystalline accents and bass synth, but again the groove plodded, was mixed too loudly (especially the bass kick) and didn't complement the other sounds. From 2:50-on, the melodic lead was also repeating itself too much without any other variations or interpretive development. 2:50's section was empty, as well as 4:05's. From 2:50-on in particular, you did try to make the melody sound different by sometimes not doubling it, or by changing the textures and energy level surrounding it, so that was headed in the right direction. That said, once you've heard the melody once, you've basically heard it a ton more times. Hopefully, the musician Js can better articulate what's not working here. If you can make the backing patterns softer and more creative & complimentary to the lead, the piece would be in better shape. Right now, it's got potential, but the mixing is off and there are backing patterns are weak. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted March 16, 2014 Share Posted March 16, 2014 I like the lo-fi intro too. When the bass enters, it is too loud, too mid-heavy and the writing is WAY too busy to fit well with the lead writing which is also busy. Only one element at a time should be that busy, either bass or lead but never both, as they are competing for focus. I agree with Larry about the strings starting at :56, that timbre with it's slow attack completely takes the energy out of that section, because it is so exposed. The drum writing is quite repetitive and the kick is too loud. The clap/snare is very simple and plain both in timbre and writing, and gets old fast. This track suffers from extremely repetitive writing, despite some attempts at interpretation. You will need to do some melody writing variation to keep things fresh. Changing up the lead instrument in different sections will also help a lot with repetitiveness, as would adding in some unique chord progression ideas for at least one section somewhere. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OceansAndrew Posted March 20, 2014 Share Posted March 20, 2014 I think the bass and lead writing are fine and synergize well, but the disconnect is that the bass has an immediate attack, and the strings do not. The makes them sound really sloppy together. The bass sounds good, but is way too hyped compared to everything else and should probably come down. The drums are pretty auto-piloted as well, and could stand to have a lot more variation added. The violin lead has a lot of care added to the sequencing, but still seems to fall a little short. Maybe double it up with a piano or something to mask it a bit. Overall some decent ideas, but it needs polish. No, please resubmit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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