Mirby Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 (edited) CURRENT VERSION V5 Bell's Memory v2 Bell's Memory v4 It's a remix of Captain Bell's Memorial and Peter the Parrot from StarTropics. Made this for PUNCHFEST 19 and I'm rather proud of it. Proud enough to keep working on it. Posting for feedback, of course. EDIT: Update 06/15/14 - Scrapping v3, wasn't happy with the added section anyways. Made it so there was too much going on, didn't like that. So moving forward I'm just planning on refining what I already have in v2. EDIT: Update 07/04/14 - Added a v4, building off of v2. EDIT: Update 09/19/14 - Added v5, version off of Share & Enjoy Edited October 6, 2014 by Argle mod review done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 (edited) I'm listening to V3. Sounds like it could be in a game, but it feels too set in one groove. It's almost like when Food Network judges taste food and they say it's "one-noted" (except it corresponds to texture, not dynamics). Let's just get this out of the way as well: there's a lotta soundfonts and FL default-like samples in here, so it'll need more work than usual if you're sticking with these. The tubular bells make sense to me, but I think they feel too quantized. The toms on the left sound like they are supposed to be congas or bongos, but are toms instead (FPC I believe?). The cymbal, to me, kinda sticks out since it's so acoustic. Maybe some more diffusion to the reverb can soften the tone and let it sit more in the mix. Scooping the frequency for the transient of the cymbal could help soften it as well. It's just at the frequency where the "4" EQ band is by default (right click + reset). 1:58 feels like some instruments changed key and some didn't. I think the strings didn't change key. A lot of stuff feels quantized by this point. Overall this is likable, but it settles into one groove and just sticks there the whole time, so the dynamics feel constant. Feels a lot like background music to me. Quantization is a major contributor here to the one-groove feel. Still not as bad as some of my first remixes were though. You definitely have cohesion in your instrument choices. Nothing's clipping, and everything is mixed audibly. Edited June 14, 2014 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirby Posted June 14, 2014 Author Share Posted June 14, 2014 I'm not using any FL default samples lol. and honestly i think i'm gonna scrap v3 and go back to v2. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted June 14, 2014 Share Posted June 14, 2014 (edited) I'm not using any FL default samples lol.and honestly i think i'm gonna scrap v3 and go back to v2. Odd, it sounds like it to me, at least on the toms. Edited June 14, 2014 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirby Posted June 15, 2014 Author Share Posted June 15, 2014 Yeah, it's all just soundfonts hehe And I'm scrapping v3. It's gone forever. Building on v2 from here on out, or at least refining what's already there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirby Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 (edited) I made a (new) v3 and got feedback on it so v4 is a thing now! Edited July 4, 2014 by Mirby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mirby Posted September 20, 2014 Author Share Posted September 20, 2014 Well this version is a couple months old but i'd like some feedback cause i would like to sub this at some point. Guess it would be v5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 (edited) I'm just gonna say my major concerns, because any nitpicks I have are pretty minor compared to the major stuff. You've also heard these before. - feels repetitive, almost loop-like because it's essentially one groove throughout - mechanical sequencing - uses soundfonts, like you mentioned, which means the arrangement would have to be super good to sort of balance it out. EDIT: second half of reason is independent of this specific arrangement Edited September 25, 2014 by timaeus222 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argle Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Source links? Don't make me go lookin' for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timaeus222 Posted September 26, 2014 Share Posted September 26, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Argle Posted October 6, 2014 Share Posted October 6, 2014 (edited) Jeez, making other people post your sources. Thanks though T. Source usage seems alright. There are a number of reasons that would almost certainly cause this track to be rejected, namely lo-fi production, highly repetitive looping structure, static arrangement, stiff and stilted parts, and a general lack of groove. Let's dive in. Starting with production, everything sounds wrapped in a blanket.... dull and muffled. Particularly the drums and marimba. Not sure if it just the soundfonts you're using, but yeah, the current production isn't cutting it. Everything could benefit from EQ to sharpen things up, and some more reverb to add space. The string pad panned rightward is distracting to me, it should be centered. Definitely a lot of things to practice your production chops on here. Sequencing-wise things are very stilted, particularly the marimba and orchestral chimes. This has to do with the part-writing... the parts are staccato and don't really gel with anything. Along these lines, the drum part doesn't really contribute anything meaningful to the groove, and the bassline is just a low-end sustained mass sitting there, not working with the drums to create a groove. Arrangement-wise the entire track is just a loop that has some parts dropping in and out. You definitely need to break out of that. Scrap the 2nd half of the track and write something different yet complimentary, and then you can return to the original feel. It will probably be challenging at this point because you have been building up a loop mindset on this track for awhile. So overall there are many issues, but I feel the most important ones are the composition and arrangement... turning the track from an extended loop into an actual song with groove and feels. I actually think it might be beneficial to send someone your project file and let them go crazy with it. A collab could inject some new ideas and take the track in a new direction, as well as give you new inspiration. Hope this helps! /mod review Edited October 7, 2014 by Argle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uffe von Lauterbach Posted October 7, 2014 Share Posted October 7, 2014 This track needs some variation melodically. As it has been stated, it is very repetitive, which I suppose is understandable since the original theme wasn't all that long. I'd break away from the melody and throw in your own style somewhere along the way. What genre are you going for? I ask because that usually helps me familiarize what you're trying to create in terms of sound and such. I'd do more with the bassline, too. Argle mentioned that it just sits around. Well, he mentioned a lot of things. I think rhythm would really help this out, though. I will say that I like in comparison to the original that this doesn't really have a dark eerie feeling like the original, and that you put bells in this. By the way, what version of FL are you using? I'm just asking because Argle mentioned that maybe collaborating could help you get where you want this to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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