Donkey Kong (GB) - Taken (Revision)

[Chernabogue]

New version: LINK

Sources:

- DK Escapes!

(heard at the very beginning of the video)

Judges' Decision: HERE

Basically trying to get it on OCR. Feedback me!

[timaeus222]

I think the xylophone is fine until 0:30, where it's too quiet. I think you could just scrap 0:05 - 0:30 and not lose much. The piccolo's a bit quiet throughout. The brass definitely needs more finesse before 0:30 than after; it's stiff but OK when more parts come in, but additionally filling out the textures before 1:06 and having more build to the dynamics can make that intro less repetitive. Maybe some low tuba/bass trombone blats, or fluttertonguing? At 0:30 - 1:06, you have a lot of quarter notes on the brass, contributing to the stiffness. Could use more offsetting of notes in the partwriting to make it less stiff.

The drums before 1:06 could also use more variation, maybe through some syncopation, like a "kick drum" on the 1.5 beat (after first "snare") or something. Anything to get away from that overly looped feel. The drums just don't seem to change that much at all from the two main patterns used. Listening once through quickly, where are your strings? I could hardly hear them participating. I feel like they're too background. Any contra basses in the house? Violin & viola harmonization? Cello backup?

Yeah, 1:55 - 2:54 just drags. The xylophone's getting so much solo time and is too loud too. I think this is supposed to sound majestic, but that feeling goes away at 2:16, when the xylophone goes and does its own thing and I'm like, "okay, when are you going to stop soloing; the other players want to move forward". You may have highlighted the xylophone a little too much and left the backing elements hanging.

Overall, I think the major points to address are:

- More drum variation. Say, syncopation? More aux perc (clave, woodblock, sleigh bells, etc)? Pretty much the biggest debated issue here.

- Fuller textures. The strings can play a larger role IMO. It could hide the fakeness of the brass a bit.

- Detail work. The 2:16 - 2:52 xylo solo is just too much IMO and is taking your (everyone's, but mostly yours, Alex) attention away from the backing elements. Needs more TLC in the accompaniment, and the xylophone needs to be quieter by about 1 or 2 dB in the velocities there. In FL Studio, you can highlight many notes with Ctrl+Click/Drag or something like that (I've gotten used to pressing Ctrl+Shift+Click/Drag) and do Alt+Mouse Wheel roll (or Alt+X) to lower all of them at once.

- Slow intro. I think 0:05 - 0:30 doesn't have to be there, so I agree with Palpable on that. I find it to be sparse and underdeveloped with just drums + xylo + exposed brass. The drums by themselves can kinda handle themselves, but the drums + xylo still makes it seem empty in context.

Good luck!

Edited April 21, 2015 by timaeus222

[Rozovian]

I'll just check to see if I agree with the judges.

Drums do feel repetitive at times. The first pattern isn't a problem imo, since it gets a few more layers added to it. The second pattern has more problems. I can't tell whether you were building up or breaking down around 1:40. Although the rhythms fit together, the drums are more driving than the rest of the instrumentation which becomes a problem. 3:00 you're again either building up or breaking down, but the track isn't giving any indication as to which it is. I would recommend building some dynamics into these parts. You can EQ out some particular element of it, and automate that eq band's level. You can have an additional layer that supports some of the elements in the loop, but not all of them, while lowering the loop's level. Something like that would give you more control of the dynamics and rhythms, which I feel is the source of the repetition problem your drums still have.

From 2:10 you find a groove and just sit at that level. And the drums have their own groove, separate from the rest of the instrumentation, and from the dynamics of the track. I think that's the problem with the drums, not repetition per se.

The panning of stuff is a bit left-oriented. Our ears pick up the direction best from high frequencies, so having multiple high-frequency sources panned left while few panned right makes everything seem like it's coming from the left speaker.

Around 2:30, the xylophone is a bit too loud compared to the rest of the instrumentation. There might be a little too much reverb on it too, try reducing its reverb slightly, see if it sounds cleaner without sounding dry and exposed.

Transitions are clunky. The first one is fine, but when you've already done one clunky transition, the second one stands out. I get that it leads into the ending. It might work if the dynamics of the preceding part felt more climactic, so this ending part feels more like a bonus tacked on at the end, than something that _must_ be there.

The orchestral elements, which I know soooo much about, seem better than Palpable covered in his vote, although in places like 2:50 there are still late notes and other things to improve. There are other oddities, like softer notes on the beat when you'd expect the notes to be a bit stronger. Integrating the orchestral elements' dynamics into the groove of the drums might help. I don't have any realism concerns, in part because the orchestra is good enough for its background role and only the xylophone would is far enough in the foreground to be an issue imo.

What's with the weird stray note at the very end?

Slightly softer xylophone, and the drums better integrated with the dynamics of the track, and I'd be okay with it. The judges might want more edits than I do.

Cool track. I'm especially digging the DnB-ish first minute. Nice choice of sources, nice take on them.

[Chernabogue]

Thanks for the in-depth reviews, guys. It seems the more serious issues are still the same than the ones the Judges raised. Will try to do my best to improve this and upload a newer version.