Liontamer Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=64155 Originally submitted June 26--link expiration. Fallthrough OK'd by zircon. * Contact Info o Remixer Name: Ronak Shah (Schmancy on forums, but ignore that) o Real Name: Ronak Shah o E-mail Address: schmancy47@gmail.com * ReMix Info o Remix Title: "Time's Fission" o Game remixed: Chrono Trigger (Not another one!) o Songs remixed: "Crono's Theme," "Brink of Time" (and a shadow of "Corridors of Time") Commentary: It would be redundant of me to comment on the redundancy of Chrono Trigger Remixes at this point, so, too late, I'll refrain. This is my first potential submission (not counting two previous rejections, likely justified), and is a remade version of an older submission, although it is quite drastically redone with "Brink of Time" added on entirely, and with only one or two lines parallel. Still, it can be called a revision. The concept here is this: The game, Chrono Trigger, is essentially about time, its manipulation, and all of that. The song isn't supposed to evoke visual imagery, since the subject is conceptual, as much as to be impressionistic, I guess. We begin with the ever familiar tick-tock from "A Premonition," though the music isn't featured here yet. A pair of mallets enter with aligned lines. Then another, then another, then another. We end up with eight mallet lines. You will note that a few contain molested thematic material, that, at first distinctness, soon blend together and into the background. The clock has been constructed and the marimba gears are working fine. (As it is, the mechanical, impersonal nature of the piece is intended to be human elements used for a monotonous industry) A vibraphone enters with the familiar, though adultered, theme. This continues, building, and other instruments enter. Every note the vibraphone plays is part of the theme, including the melody playing when the low strings enter. The permutation seems to be a little more unfamiliar. Tempo is steady, with a note or rhythm falling on every eighth note, on the eighth note, no more, no less. Or else we'd be blaspheming. H'anyways. The once melodic vibraphone gongs the bells thrice. After a climax, with a little foreshadowing of "Corridors of Time" from below (or "A Premonition, if you wish), a piano sneaks it's head out of the crowd, and the tick-tock has, to the naked ear, inconspicuously vanished. The theme from the "Brink of Time" is introduced, still with tempic precision, but teetering and stretching in dynamics, occasionally flinching as gears skip from rusting and overuse. Again, not a visual representation, but a theoretical, an impressionistic one. Barely impressionistic, I don't know what I'm talking about, really. I'm full of it. After one repetition, percussion takes over again, but rather oddly. The clockwork has fractured, with three in the melody and four in the accompaniment, and little pattern at all to the gears. Tempo holds, but confusion abounds. We transition from earth to water and ice with the flute, in triplets, and the bells, in an inobtrusive five. The vibraphone is back. Lines are in control with each other, but what's this, speed? An accelerando begins, the percussion still calm. But after a while, the percussion begins to tear into chaos, building, building, an explosion of light! And fade. The tick-tock had returned somewhere in this mess, in a last ditch attempt to hold together the band, but died out, falling over the Brink of Time. Hahahahahaokay. The original theme, more true than before, returns, but tempo is shaky now, stretching and leaning and tottering. Dynamics, two, will flinch and crack at the slightest scratching and irritation, theoretically, dissonance. Corridors of Time cast shadows from below, foreshadowed, even, earlier in the piece. Then time breaks altogether, and we have freedom. So it ends. The story wasn't all that necessary, but it explains some parts of the mix. Maybe that makes it interesting? I don't know. I like to ramble a lot. Cheers, ~Ronak~ ------------------------------------------------------ If you were going to do a fall-through or resubmission, you should have been getting that posted directly to the panel by a judge, not sending it through the standard submissions inbox again. Sending it that way did nothing to get the mix on the panel sooner for you. Not sure where the communication broke down, but if zircon approved the fall-through, we should have had this on the panel once zirc saw your fall-through request and subsequently put it up. Sorry for the inconvenience, but hopefully no hard feelings. http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=ct - "Presentiment" (ct-1-01.spc), "Chrono Trigger (part 1)" [ct-1-02a.spc], "Chrono Trigger (part 2) [ct-1-02b.spc], "The Brink of Time" (ct-2-13.spc) & "Corridors of Time" (ct-3-04.spc) For such organic instrumentation being used, the mallet-based stuff sounded pretty rigid. It doesn't sound terrible by any means though. The drums brought in at :59 definitely didn't create a good texture. They're too punchy for this. The low strings added at 1:09 also sounded completely out of place with the syrupy lead going on. These combinations just don't seem to click together. Moves over into some piano at 1:59 tackling "The Brink of Time" that again sounds decent, but still fake-sounding; a lot of the chords are really thin. All manner of percussion joined in at 2:43, most of it much louder than the piano, which didn't seem to make much sense, but not a big deal. In any case, things chugged along, going into a holiday feel with the sleigh bells joining at 3:12. Nice subtle woodwind stuff in the background to keep things interesting without exposing the sample. Very well done. The track needs something better to pad it out so it doesn't feel empty in the back during that section though. 4:10-4:14 got needlessly blistering with whatever effect that was; tone it down a bit. Ha, nice segue with the clock ticking into the piano at 4:23. Excellent arrangement of "Chrono Trigger" with "Corridors of Time". Argh, a weak resolution at 5:44; doesn't end well, and the sample's particularly exposed as thin and weak. Nah, you gotta go for something more satisfying than that. Rework the texture from :59-1:58 so that the instruments sound more complimentary, get the piano sounding a bit richer, make sure the background is adequately padded so things don't sound vacant when they're not supposed to, and write a stronger ending. Those are the main spots for improvements I'd stress. Solid submission, Ronak, but it needs more work to really get it going. Very promising resub though. Perhaps let this one slide for a while, then come back to it after you gain more experience and knock it out of the park. Either way, keep up what you're doing in the community. NO (rework/resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Orichalcon Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 Well this is an enjoyably bouncy piece. I'm enjoying the arrangement a lot. Some notes sound glaring together but I think that's more to do with the samples, which brings me to my main problem. The samples and production on this piece is below professional level. It sounds like General MIDI at times. If it wasn't for the basic reverb over most of the istruments, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference. Some of the percussion could sound more realistic, and the lower percussion could definitely be more powerful. The melody instruments (marimba/glockenspiel, whatever that is) sounds very fake. Take this one back and try to get it to sound more realistic. The arrangement is all right, there are some parts I would change if it was me, but I think they could stay as they are depending on how good your samples can get. Also, things got way too fucking loud at 4:10. Jesus christ, my ears. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillian Aversa Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I think a lot of people fall into a trap with percussion-driven pieces such as this. Just because a percussive instrument is struck (or strikes) to be played doesn't mean it doesn't have the same capacity for expressiveness as any other instrument! The piano line in this piece was probably the closest you got to a natural sound, and even it could use some more flexibility. Gotta vary up your articulation to produce a more organic result. I really like your arrangement, for the most part. Transitions at 2:03 (piano too quiet to take the stage there!) and 4:22 (meh?) could use some work, but you're off to a very good start. It's mostly the production values that are hurting this submission at the moment. Ever play Mario Party? Remember the little mini-game where you pair up in teams and play back Toad's "forest symphony" or whatever? The drumset you bring in about 1 minute into the track sounds just like the snare in that game! (Read: too midi.) I don't really see how the jingle bells add anything to the soundscape, either. They sound particularly unnatural. You're gonna need to do a lot of tweaking to get these samples up to par. Or you could ask for some swanky ones for Christmas? NO HOPE TO HEAR ANOTHER RESUB! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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