Liontamer Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=89725 After taking all the judges comments to heart, I made several changes to this piece. I have changed the percussive background a little (while also adding some more auxilary drums), added a minute or so to the length of the song, and took out the fade away ending--replacing it with something a little more majestic. I hope you enjoy my resubmission and thank you for your suggestions and for giving me another chance! ~Smartpoetic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillian Aversa Posted October 25, 2006 Share Posted October 25, 2006 Well, I read through the original decision to refresh my memory on this one, and I have to say... One of the biggest gripes we expressed was your recycling of material throughout the arrangement. And now you say that you've added a minute or so to the length of the song? The new ending could conceivably add some time, and it did a little, but primarly what you've done here is recycle that material even more. I don't notice any changes in those sections that weren't there before. Secondly, I know I at least suggested that you do something to correct the snare rolls, and you haven't. You simply added in a tambourine-like sample that echoes its stiffness. That doesn't really solve the problem. I notice a bit of improvement in dynamics, though, so good for you! Lastly, while I'm glad you worked on a real ending this time around, what you've come up with still seems a little preliminary to me. The second chord in the final cadence sounds hollow, as well as the unison section that precedes it. I think you should go back and read our comments a little more carefully. I'm glad you cared enough to visit the remix again, but it needs more work still, in my opinion. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted November 7, 2006 Author Share Posted November 7, 2006 http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=loz3 - "Overworld" (loz3-04.spc) "Dunno where the source tune is in Z64:OoT, but oh well." Repeated from last time around. Tell us what you're arranging from Ocarina of Time. You'd be doing yourself (and myself) a favor. I like the additions here, but indeed, you're basically repeating the same motifs over and over again with more time added. On that level, you weren't really developing the track much further, despite your sincere efforts. Like last time around, I liked how you varied up the harmonzing instrumentation. But for the melodic lead, try to change the focus from the layered brass at some point, as it gets pretty repetitive. Same with the drumwork; you could hear the same patterns repeating ad nauseum. The slight additions/changes from verse to verse as you repeat the melody don't create enough dynamic contrast to keep things interesting on account of the brass and drums. The overall levels are too quiet, and the sounds lack power, leaving the texture very thin and exposing the samples. A lot of the promising writing ideas you have filling the track out are simply too quiet to obtain the listener's attention or have much of an impact. Again, you need to flesh out the sounds, and you also need to vary the arrangement/instrumentation ideas more. You may want to move onto a new project now as opposed to working on this any further, but you show some talent that can be cultivated, to be sure. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big giant circles Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Wow, the levels are waaaay too low. This is a pretty song, and it's also pretty good. I hate to say though, it seems like you may have hit a wall as far as the continuing interpretive factor goes. Longer, sure, and that's cool, but I just really didn't feel like the mix took any further direction. Not sure if you intended to make it so quiet; really, ought to be auto-NO'd in it's current state, just for that alone. Don't mean to sound harsh, but you gotta triple check mechanical flaws like that before you submit. You show potential as an arranger, for sure, don't let the rejection get you down. Sometimes, we get so eager to get a mix passed, that we'll immediately take the initial rejection and immediately try to remedy it, and the result often seems forced, and either therefore sloppy, or eles lacking in what it would otherwise achieve after a healthy pause, and re-assessment. I think such a break would do you good on this one. Nice work, but I think it could still use a little work. Best of luck with this and/or other projects bro. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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