Super Metroid/Metroid Prime 2 - The Brinstar-Torvus Pipeline

[Starphoenix]

Hey everyone,

So, the idea for this track was birthed out of the most recent MnP Competition. I've been playing around with this for close to two weeks. After getting the song into a more stable place I feel comfortable getting this evaluated and seeing how close or far away I am from the threshold of OCR's standards for submission. I feel this is an improvement from my last remix and would like to try and submit this song to the site, if it's not too far off from the standards. This is like some weird combo between synth wave and standard electronic fare.

The idea was to mimic the concept in my head of being on an alien train going between different stations, in this case Brinstar and Torvus. While I know what the concept is, that does not ring true for everyone else and may just come across as disjointed or incohesive, so I want to make sure this isn't going to be a problem for the judges. I'm also worried the lead may be too powerful. Tested my song on a couple different speakers and it sounded a little iffy on one but fine on the other.

Even if you are not an evaluator I welcome any and all feedback, or just general comments. Thanks!

[The Nikanoru]

This is a really cool sound you have for this. I like the intro a lot; with the effects on the chiptune mixed with that background synth, and boom kick, it's sounds almost ... like you're standing somewhere gross. Like Torvus or Brinstar.

That being said, those lead synths that start at 0:33 were driving me crazy throughout the piece - it's too sharp a sound to match that cool ambience you capture in the very beginning, IMO. The beats that start at 1:22 make things more interesting and the synth-work is great, but I still don't like the synth-tones. VERY cool what you did at 2:10 to 2:36 - love this bit.

I find the piece overall gets a little repetitive, which given the nature of the source, isn't in itself a bad thing; however, I'd suggest spicing up that ending (3:47 to 4:20) a bit more if you plan to keep it at this length.

I like this approach, cool ambience. Good work, can't wait to hear the next version!

[Starphoenix]

2 hours ago, The Nikanoru said:

This is a really cool sound you have for this. I like the intro a lot; with the effects on the chiptune mixed with that background synth, and boom kick, it's sounds almost ... like you're standing somewhere gross. Like Torvus or Brinstar.

That being said, those lead synths that start at 0:33 were driving me crazy throughout the piece - it's too sharp a sound to match that cool ambience you capture in the very beginning, IMO. The beats that start at 1:22 make things more interesting and the synth-work is great, but I still don't like the synth-tones. VERY cool what you did at 2:10 to 2:36 - love this bit.

I find the piece overall gets a little repetitive, which given the nature of the source, isn't in itself a bad thing; however, I'd suggest spicing up that ending (3:47 to 4:20) a bit more if you plan to keep it at this length.

I like this approach, cool ambience. Good work, can't wait to hear the next version!

Thanks for the feedback, as always! I'll look into seeing switching some of the synths around and seeing how that sounds. May be able to just use some of the synths I incorporated in that part you like and extend those throughout the track (with some variation). I was a tad worried about the lead anyways, so I'm not terribly surprised someone walked away having issues with the synths.

[Rozovian]

eval:

Soundwise, the first thing that bothers me is the level glitches in the 0:30 buildup. It sounds like a compressor is being fed way too strong a signal. Maybe you need some lighter compression earlier in the signal chain, and softer compression on the output. Maybe you need to clean up the low end. Hard to say.

The next thing that bothers me is sound design. The ostinato synth at 0:34 isn't great, nor was the choir earlier, but the lead at 0:48 is not a good fit. That they're both rather loud doesn't help, either. Next enters the drums, and they're another step down in sound. Which is a pity, because you set it all up so well with the bass, pads and glitchy sounds. The drum writing is also not that great, not very effective. They don't drive the track, but they do draw a lot of attention. And not in a good way. I'd look into redoing the drums entirely. Sound design, writing, purpose in the arrangement.

The arrangement itself is fine. Source is used well. No huge surprises, but some interesting inserts and nice performance aspects to some of the lead melodies. It has some stop-and-go moments that stand out as cool design choices. The glitches get a little annoying at times, when the lead should be the focus and the best element in that part of the track, and it's not. The glitches then distract from the lead. They don't add to the track like that, when they're fighting the lead for my attention. Something as simple as lowering their level would help.

I think that's the problem with this. Too many elements fighting for attention, being too loud or too upfront, doing too much, drawing attention when they shouldn't, not knowing what their role in the arrangement and mix is.

I think this would get you a NO, RESUB. The arrangement is good enough, and many of the sounds themselves are fine. The mixing and drums need work. I'm not sure you need any changes to the sound design besides the drums, as the instruments I've noted as being not that great might fall into place once the mixing is cleaned up.

Cool stuff. Keep working on it.

[Starphoenix]

33 minutes ago, Rozovian said:

eval:

Soundwise, the first thing that bothers me is the level glitches in the 0:30 buildup. It sounds like a compressor is being fed way too strong a signal. Maybe you need some lighter compression earlier in the signal chain, and softer compression on the output. Maybe you need to clean up the low end. Hard to say.

The next thing that bothers me is sound design. The ostinato synth at 0:34 isn't great, nor was the choir earlier, but the lead at 0:48 is not a good fit. That they're both rather loud doesn't help, either. Next enters the drums, and they're another step down in sound. Which is a pity, because you set it all up so well with the bass, pads and glitchy sounds. The drum writing is also not that great, not very effective. They don't drive the track, but they do draw a lot of attention. And not in a good way. I'd look into redoing the drums entirely. Sound design, writing, purpose in the arrangement.

The arrangement itself is fine. Source is used well. No huge surprises, but some interesting inserts and nice performance aspects to some of the lead melodies. It has some stop-and-go moments that stand out as cool design choices. The glitches get a little annoying at times, when the lead should be the focus and the best element in that part of the track, and it's not. The glitches then distract from the lead. They don't add to the track like that, when they're fighting the lead for my attention. Something as simple as lowering their level would help.

I think that's the problem with this. Too many elements fighting for attention, being too loud or too upfront, doing too much, drawing attention when they shouldn't, not knowing what their role in the arrangement and mix is.

I think this would get you a NO, RESUB. The arrangement is good enough, and many of the sounds themselves are fine. The mixing and drums need work. I'm not sure you need any changes to the sound design besides the drums, as the instruments I've noted as being not that great might fall into place once the mixing is cleaned up.

Cool stuff. Keep working on it.

Thanks a lot Rozovian! I really do appreciate your feedback.

I understand where you're coming from with the drums. I've actually come to dislike what happened to my patterns listening to a couple of my older variations where the drum pattern was simpler but felt more effective because it drove the overall sound better. Think I ended up creating variety for the sake of variety, which is just me still learning through the arrangement process.

I'll look into trying to lighten up on the use of the glitch effect and see about reworking the synth lead, or scrapping it entirely. Been busy with other projects lately, but I'll update whenever I get around to opening up my project file again. lol