Gario Posted April 12, 2017 Share Posted April 12, 2017 (edited) My remixer name was previously 'M4PLEHOODI3' but it is now 'Von Nebo'.. I've only done one arrangement for you folks in the past, "Gotta Catch A Wave And A Memory". If you could perhaps change my artist name on your site to 'Von Nebo', I would appreciate it. If you can't, it's totally fine, I'll just have to make a new account or something. So my remixer name is NOW 'Von Nebo'. I'm attempting to stay pretty anon with my music, so you can just call me Von. My email is the address from which I'm sending, My user id is 33369 . [Still has name of M4PLEHOODI3, I don't see a way to change it.] The game is Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards. The name of my arrangement is "Bus Stop On A Snow Day". The name of the original song is "Shiver Star". The original composer is Jun Ishikawa. Link to the original version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGUZG8V1OMU My comments: When I got this game, I was but a youngling in school with a long walk to the bus stop. In the winter, I would have to wake up early in the morning, put my boots on, and trudge through the snow. Sometimes, in the quiet of snowfall, a driver would slow down, roll down the window, and say "HEY! It's a snow day! School has been cancelled!" After thanking the driver profusely as if they had just saved my life, I would begin my journey back home through the beautiful snowfall, all while this song blasted on repeat in my head. I mean, it's not an overly complex song. It's not 'the best song you've ever heard', but it brings with it a joy found in simplicity. I think that's why it was the song that came to mind when I would happily walk the street in the snow. It's the simple and pure things in life that you treasure. As a result of this song being part of my childhood, alongside distorted guitars with much reverb, I present to you this song. I hope that it might bring you joy as the original did for me. Edited April 21, 2017 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted April 12, 2017 Author Share Posted April 12, 2017 Pretty straight interpretation of the source, but that's not always a bad thing. The lead guitar work is surprisingly calming, and the structure has better high/low points in energy than the source ever did. The overall bouncy nature of the source seems to have a lot of potential as a more rock/metal track, so great work exploiting this in your arrangement. The execution of this arrangement isn't up to the OCR bar, though. The overall EQ feels lacking in the higher ranges, which makes the arrangement sound stifled. Whatever low passes are being used on your processing tools are squishing your soundspace, so lighten up on that. The mixing pushes the drums very far behind the mix (save for the tambourine, which sticks out like a sore thumb), so work on bringing your drums out in the mix. The distortion on the rhythm guitar throws me off, as it doesn't have a distinct enough attack to it, which makes it sounds like guitar soup rather than a decent rhythm part. Guitar tone is a bit of a personal issue, so I'll let that slide if the other judges have no issue with it. One last issue that this has is the disparity of wetness levels in this; things like your lead guitars are very wet in this (with both some delay and reverb on them), while the drums are bare-bones dry. This makes the instruments sound like they were recorded in different spaces and slapped together rather than playing together. Give the drums a little reverb while toning down on the delay/reverb on your leads; this will help make the song sound more cohesive as a whole. As far as the arrangement goes, aside from being conservative there's only one other thing that bothers me in it, which is how the section at 0:54 (and 2:14) is approached. Traditionally in the bass a leap of a tritone tends to sound horrible, which I must say applies in this case as well. However, I will note that the source does exactly this so while I can't fault you for it (it IS following the source, after all) I would still consider easing the listener into that transition better than the source did. It sounded wonky in the source, and it sounds wonky in this arrangement as well. To be honest, the real killer on this is the lack of higher range and the overall disparity of wetness between various instruments in this. Set your reverb levels to be more consistent across the board, allow for more upper end EQ to pass through and tweak your mixing where necessary and I think this will be alright. I also suggest fixing the transition at 0:54 and 2:14, though again I wouldn't knock this track down on that due to the source also having this issue. Best of luck! NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted April 13, 2017 Share Posted April 13, 2017 I don't have almost anything to add to Gario's analysis, which is dead on. The slow attack on the rhythm guitars is OK by me, though I can see why some might object to it. I don't have the musical vocabulary to describe what I'm hearing at 0:54 and 2:14; normally I'd just defer to Gario on the matter, since he didn't like it either, but I don't hear the same issue in the source at all, so there's something different going on here. But anyway, yeah: high-end EQ, drum mixing, and reverb are the main issues which definitely need to be addressed. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 Yep the drum balances and mixing are off, that tambourine or hat right in my face and so mechanical. The lead guitar tone is so mid heavy and has too much reverb, so the lead lacks any kind of sparkle, yet the backing chugs are mixed bright and up-front. I agree with Gario's vote pretty much entirely. Hope to hear this again though, I like the concept. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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