Rexy Posted June 11, 2021 Share Posted June 11, 2021 (edited) Submission game: Secret of Mana song: The Holy Intruder composer: Hiroki Kikuta remix title: National Scar Artist Info remixer name: Dj Orange forum userid : 3683 real name: Geoff Harding comments: :O) Edited April 7, 2022 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted September 28, 2021 Share Posted September 28, 2021 funky start to this one. some interesting percs and bass to start it, and once the keys come in it starts to come together more. the percussion samples were pretty old-school and sounded it - there's some weird behaviors there, like how the metal strike is cut by other samples, the hat sounds not really having an attack but being just sorta staticky, and i wasn't really into it although it was doing some interesting stuff. i felt that overall the drums need some real mastering work - their stuff is all over in terms of volume, and the kick for example is very quiet whereas the hats and sidestick samples were way louder. the track kinda does the noodly thing until about 2:03, where there's a stylistic break. i don't know where this chord progression comes from. i found the sfx that sounds like a rising scream to be pretty grating in here. coming out of this is some more noodles going back and forth between a few chords, and then it goes down to an outro that still manages to end suddenly. so overall i have two complaints. the first is an extension of what i said about the drums earlier - the mastering is irregular at best. the drums need more body and volumization, the keys are easy to hear but don't have any room or verb that i was hearing in the mix, and the track overall feels quieter than it actually is since there's no compression that i could hear on it. it'd be nice to have a more consistent concept applied to the instrumentation and resultant mix. the second is that there's a lot of noodling in this track and not as much explicit declaration of melodic content in here. there's definitely parts where it's hard to hear where the original is, even though what's playing is interesting to listen to. to fix this up, i'd want to hear a more consistent retelling of the melody (adapted for the time signature). this could be in the keys or new instrumentation. right now it's just too exploratory to make up for the issues in the mastering. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted January 4, 2022 Share Posted January 4, 2022 I don't have any concerns about the overall volume, but I agree that the samples are weak. The melody is carried by a jazz organ, but said organ has a pretty thin, weak sound to it. The drums are pretty thin, too, especially the hats, which sound really artificial. I can't tell if the bass is supposed to be a synth or a sampled electric bass. The arrangement seems okay to me. It's pretty noodly, but I don't have any concerns about source usage. It doesn't even seem close enough for me to merit timestamping. And as long as there's adequate source usage, it's not a standards violation even if there isn't much "explicit declaration of melodic content." 0:59 sounds like a couple of off-key notes, and some of the noodling doesn't sound quite right to me either, but maybe it's just in an unusual key. I think for me this would pass with better samples (or better yet, performances). It's in the uncanny valley between full-on synth and instrumental jazz. I'd prefer it if it leaned towards the jazz more, but it has to get out of that valley one way or the other. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted April 7, 2022 Share Posted April 7, 2022 Opens up with some pretty tepid instrumentation, but we'll see where it goes. A minute and a half in, the arrangement side of things sounds creative, but the sounds lack body and oomph, so the sounds & textures fall flat, particularly with the bass and the percussion elements (e.g. snare, drum machine, metallic pieces). 2:02 changes up the textures some into a darker soundscape, but everything's still sounding very flat & relatively empty. That could have worked if it were a contrast to a fuller section right before it. At no point does the bass work have presense or fill in the track. Vox from 2:47-3:01 sounded super cheap; it's a purposeful, stylistic thing, duly noted, but the way the voices suddenly started & stopped in that robotic way wasn't a plus regardless. I agreed with the others that this should use more explicit references to the source tune rather than having some sections just based off of chord progressions. I don't treat the bassline focus as noodling myself, but the production and placement of it prevent it from actually anchoring the piece, so it can create an impression of it being unfocused when busier parts of the track make you pay attention to other elements. I don't inherently mind subtle dynamics within a narrower range of energy, but the weaker parts of the instrumentation undermine the attempted dynamic contrast that's there. Good foundation here nonetheless, Geoff, and happy to hear something from you again in the inbox. I'll be honest that I'm not sure what can be done to rebalance this, but you're very talented and I know you can get this revised in a way that doesn't compromise your vision and style while also giving this more direction and a richer sound. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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