*NO* 1943 "Kido Bu-bye"

[Chimpazilla]

This is Audiomancer, and this is a remix of the first stage music from 1943, Battle of Midway for the NES. I've always liked the game and the music in spite of the fact that P-51's we're not at that particular 1942 battle. Thanks for your consideration ahead of time! Original below, remix attached.

Edited April 21, 2023 by Liontamer
closed decision

[Chimpazilla]

This remix has many issues but I am paneling it because I checked and this remixer posted this as a wip and never got any feedback at all.  I'd like to get him some real feedback.  I like his creative idea of the intro saw sounding like airplane engines!  His arrangement ideas are good generally.

[MindWanderer]

I do like that intro a lot!  The arrangement on the whole is a lot of fun, with good energy.  I enjoyed it.

However, production does need some work.  The leads are too thin and quiet, dominated by the percussion in particular.  There's not a lot of presence in the bass registers except the kicks.

Otherwise, this is pretty solid.  A lot of care went into the composition, and there's elements of interest throughout.  The synth choices are a little vanilla, but they're consistently so, and can mostly pass for '80s synth-pop.  Improve the balance and EQ, and use some leads and bass with more vibrant timbre, and I think this will be in really good shape.

NO (resubmit)

[prophetik music]

what a neat original. elements of the armed services anthems in there which is fun.

intro is def fun! mastering is immediately an issue after the saws, but i love the energy this opening has. the synth choice for the melody at around 0:18 is not my favorite - it's really generic and doesn't have much dynamic energy to it to hold up against a very active background. i'd encourage you to use something with more verve - maybe some LFO-based envelope modulation, or more activity overall.

the lead at 0:47 is a great, active lead that's got some really fun effecting on it. the track goes back to the original more boring lead after that, and plays out towards a big sfx at 1:26. there's an extended percussion-less airy section with some fun noodling - i like the ideas here, but it lacks direction. something that's a little more rhythmic - not much! just a little - will help keep the track from foundering there.

there's a big intense bit at 1:54, that drops off and then we've got what's effectively an outro. i think the outro's fine, really, but more transition is needed between the section at 1:54 and the ending at 2:07.

from a mastering perspective, there is a ton of sub-40hz content which is causing there to be a lot of mess in the final master. rolling that off heavily would help a ton. from there, then spend some time EQing each individual instrument into its own 'shelf' of sound, so that everything feels like it's in the same place and doesn't have to shout over something else. lastly, work on balancing each instrument so that one instrument isn't dominating (i often turn the master way down until i only hear one thing, and balance i can hear everything even when it's quiet). that'll help with making the overall feel more even.

this is a fun idea! it needs more technical work, i think.

 

 

NO

[Liontamer]

Whoa, definitely a very hidden away unlock for me; haven't heard this theme in over 30 years, yet here we are. Thanks for turning over this nostalgia stone I forgot I had!

Sounds at :06 seemed very muddy and abrasive in the build to the melody arriving. It almost sounded like rapid-fire punch SFX in the right channel at :07, it didn't make sense.

Small thing, but an example of detail work being missed; the tick-a-tick-a hat writing at from :08-:19 was too loud, then when it dropped out, you hear how a bunch of corresponding sizzly noise abruptly drops out, leaving the soundscape super empty.

I also hear what prophetik's saying about the imbalance between the parts. The beats shouldn't be what's cutting through into the foreground, relative to the melody and countermelody.

The textures did grate when it happened, so watch it, but I really, really liked the layering/chorusing of the melody around :53 & :57-1:00, which also allowed for a melodic variation.

Oof, VERY vanilla and plodding beats from 1:11-1:23; that was already a problem the entire way, just exacerbated in that section. You've gotta keep in mind that no matter what other percussion is going on in your textures, if there's one element that's way louder and it's also super metronome-y (i.e. that kick), then the whole thing sounds thin, empty, and droning. The perc writing ultimately comes off lonely and barren there. 

Dropoff and changeup into some brief Manheim Steamroller-esque stuff from 1:32-1:55; though it felt non sequitur, there was nothing wrong with it and the transitions were fine; I dug it.

Though some piercing higher frequencies were there until 2:06, I liked the instrumentation ideas at 1:54 and 2:07; why that was all saved for just the last few seconds, I have no idea. Nice ideas for contrast, as well as a way to play with the textures and (for the latter) the tempo. Interesting finish at least, even if it seemed premature for the length of the track.

Needs more appropriate mixing/balancing of the parts. Not sure what setup you have that's allowing you to overlook grating and piercing sounds, but it's hampering things. The drum writing has to become more sophisticated and cohesive; again, even if you have creative writing for some parts, a vanilla, plain core beat will sound boring and stagnant if all the other percussive elements aren't mixed properly and aren't reasonably audible.

If you're able to rebalance this and make it sound cohesive, you could likely keep the length the same, but I think it would be a slog. As I've said before, I'm jealous of your ability to make music and hope you continue down your path. This isn't close to passing in this form, but your arrangement ideas are creative, so continue working on cohesive percussion/beat writing & mixing so that your track's foundations are stronger.

NO (resubmit)