Liontamer Posted July 23 Share Posted July 23 (edited) Artist Name: NarnianWarrior Hey guys! This is my first submission, and like all my EDM works, it was produced in Garageband iOS. Despite its reputation, it's a surprisingly capable little piece of software, especially considering that it comes free with every iPad! The only issue I had with it for this piece was the overly fake strings, but over time I came to appreciate the rather N64-esque sound that they have, which lends the piece a unique and nostalgic quality. I've always adored Super Mario Galaxy and its soundtrack, and I wanted to do them justice with this arrangement. I particularly wanted to amp up the outer-spacey feel of the source, truly transporting my audience to the Comet Observatory and giving them the feeling of traveling through space with Rosalina and her star children. It is still a lullaby at its core, but it also has the energy, awe, and wonder that I associate with space travel and the night sky. It does also attempt to capture the sadness of Rosalina's story (hence the use of "Sad Girl"), but the overall message is one of hope. We may see upsetting change in our lives and see the ones we love desert us or die, but you can't chart your course based on the stars behind you. You can only use them to tell if your ship is where it's supposed to be. Gosh, now I'm really hoping I didn't wax philosophical only to drop a mediocre track, heh. P.S. The title comes from a beautiful but depressing bluegrass song by Nickel Creek called "The Lighthouse's Tale," which is another piece of media that, like Super Mario Galaxy, I'm quite nostalgic for. I also subtly referenced its chorus (which contains the line the title was taken from) in the section at 1:17. You can listen to it here: https://youtu.be/Jigp5IkagOY?si=eo79MChefkgdWYVv Games & Sources Both tracks courtesy of Mahito Yokota. Super Mario Galaxy - Luma Sad Girl - Super Mario Galaxy Edited August 29 by Hemophiliac Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted July 24 Share Posted July 24 nickel creek's one of my favorite bands, and TLT is one of my favorite songs by them. i love how each chorus builds on the prior. if folks haven't ever listened to 'progressive' bluegrass, i highly recommend it. opens with a bell arp. the arp's really loud compared to the melodic element that comes in pretty quickly after. the strings that eventually come in are also really not great - they don't feel N64 to me, they just sound fake. the 'full' band sound comes in at 0:43, and the lead feels a bit weak in this section as well as slow (the attack feels a touch behind). there's no real bass through here either, but there is a kick. the lack of beater tone on the kick makes it hard to hear except for where you can feel it. sad girl comes back at 1:43, and there's some weird mallet strike tones through here that would add realism if they weren't repeat strikes next to each other. the strings come back in, and i'm still not feeling them here. the eventual synth lead elements that come in at about 2:34 are really loud, and the lack of balance makes it hard to hear what's going on. i like the patience that comes with the chords after this section, although i think they should be a little closer together as they're encroaching on 'too long since sound' territory. at 3:07 we get copypasta from the opening 40s, and then subsequently more copy pasta from the band section from 0:43 to around 1:35. there's a repeated phrase at the end, one last arp, and a few sustains. i think that the combination of these two originals works really well together. i like the idea of focusing initially on bells and then building up to a bigger band tone, and i like the introspective approach and patience that you show. i think that your synths are letting you down throughout, and your DAW's letting you down from a mastering perspective. everything that isn't a bell sounds cheap and fake, and volumization throughout is a mixed bag. this needs a good amount of work, but there's good bones here. i think that the discord or the workshop forum would help a ton with this track. NO NarnianWarrior 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 I agree with proph that these two themes go very well together, and this remix has great bones and great potential. But the sounds themselves are not doing this arrangement justice. The bells are nice, but the full orchestra sounds are too fake to work well. The arrangement itself is good although it has sections of copypasta as proph pointed out. If the repeated sections were varied somehow, in terms of writing or instrumentation, it would work, but as it stands, wholesale copypasta is a dealbreaker. I'll add that the sections are quite different in terms of energy, and the transitions between these sections are rather weak so that the flow is interrupted each time the piece transitions. I love the concept here, and I think this could be a great remix, but the sounds would need to be seriously upgraded, as well as remediating the wholesale copypasta, and more attention needs to be given to the transitions between sections. That said, I'd love to hear it again with improvements made! NO NarnianWarrior 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hemophiliac Posted August 29 Share Posted August 29 (edited) I'd argue that this might actually be more of a Super Mario Bros 3 remix with how similar the first half of the Luma theme is. For the relative lack of changing dynamics other than large dynamic jumps between sections, this has a surprising amount of emotive material in it. I think the textures you've created are good and are in the right direction overall with your personalization of the instrumentation and layering of pads/strings. I was not feeling the complete direct recap of the head at 3:43. It's not that returning to the head is not good, it's the fact that it feels copied or is very close to the same as the first time we heard it. Changing up some of it would really help change up the energy to let us know that the end is coming. It could be more melodic embellishment, increased dynamics, or adding other instrument to layer in. It could be anything as long as it changes it up and gives more of a lift to that final recapitulation. 1:17-1:40 struggles with the lead being somewhat buried in the background elements both in volume as well as it's attack being too slow for the surrounding parts. Changing it to something that has a shorter attack could help with that. Throughout the piece, there could absolutely be more movement of dynamics through modulation or automating volume on the background pads and strings. We get large dynamic jumps between some of the sections and that's fine, but within the individual sections they can grow and diminish to help them feel less static and give movement to progress things forward. The filter sweeps I occasionally hear are good touches and are examples of that, but aren't quite enough to give it the heft they need. This one isn't quite there yet, despite being a solid skeleton of a piece. The potential is there for something very nice if you can refine some of the things we all have mentioned, work on the realism of the strings, and consider sophisticating your choice of samples. Edit: Should you need more help and have questions, consider utilizing the workshop forum or joining the discord to get help there. NO Edited August 29 by Hemophiliac NarnianWarrior 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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