*NO* Final Fantasy 7 "The Day Mom Died"

[prophetik music ⚖️]

Hey there, I am back after some time  away  from the community. This track was made quite some time ago but was unfinished before I left for the ether of a salaryman's life. I think I was looking for inspiration before deciding to become active again and while appreciating the Tokyo skyline, I heard this song and it reminded me of some characters, as well as some details about their lives and the trauma they went through. A line from a character in the game during when this song is played killed me. So I had to finish the job. I'm not sure what  Nobuo wanted to capture in this song but...whatever it was, I think he finished the job too.

As far as what I wanted  to capture, well, I remember Hemo or someone  commenting that they liked it but maybe felt it could have more in the middle and end. Originally after the beginning it was all choir and piano. I found it tough to add to honestly because whatever I did always felt like it was suffocating the song rather than breathing life into it. I think I both found what felt right both instrumentation wise and balance. Still not perfect, especially in terms of automation and the like but I learned a lot about balancing different solo instruments competing for space and time. Especially with such a big verby, ethereal sound coming from the choir and piano. I like how it ended up and while I think this is overall conservative, the adornments add a ton of character that makes it, to my ears, stand on its own as opposed to a cover. As I've learned so far in my journey here, not everything needs to be avant garde. Anywho, I'm always here to learn more so I am curious what others have to say. Until next time.

 

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Games & Sources

Final Fantasy VII - Other Side of the Mountain

Edited 11 hours ago by Hemophiliac

[prophetik music ⚖️]

4+db of headroom.

opens with some very verb-heavy strings and piano. the piano appears to be playing the harpsichord part directly, and the cello and vin initially mirror the melody line before fleshing out a bit of harmony. it goes right into the B theme, and adds choir at 1:20. this is appropriately subtle when it's added. the arrangement opens up at 1:27 which is nice, and i like the additional windchimes and subsequent wind instruments. it trucks through the A and B theme again and then it's done.

to my ear, the original plays throughout in the piano (or very close to it). there's certainly some additional orchestration, and tbh the choir elements are tastefully done. i think my main issue here is that there's very little H36T in the arrangement. layering in some additional parts is nice, and the counterpoint in several sections is pretty. i don't however get the vibe that this is ever more than the original. in comparing to some other orchestrated/choral arrangements (Rebecca's stuff for example), there's far more time spent in part-writing and making there be more than just the original driving it. the lack of dynamics in most spots (there's some orchestral crescendos, but very little individual dynamics, and the keys sound like there's zero velocity adjustments on them) combined with the solo instruments not being particularly realistic doesn't help either.

i think if the first eighty seconds weren't so close to the original, this would be a borderline pass for me. as it is, the opening's just too close to the original, and the overall form is very rigid and straight out of the original as well. for something so simple in its approach, i'd want to hear more flexibility and depth of arrangement than what's represented here. getting away from the original midi in the piano would be a big help there, and expanding your tonal vocabulary with altered chords, modified phrasing, personalization of the melody line, and dynamics to give the natural shape of the melody more verve would help immensely.

 

 

NO

[jnWake ⚖️]

Starts with some pretty piano and strings. As a random comment, the style here reminds me a lot of an artist from Dwelling of Duels called valence (https://www.dwellingofduels.net/artists/valence/). The strings sound very washed out, it fits the mood you went for but it may be a little too much. Regarding the samples themselves, there's times when the attack between notes sounds odd and unnatural (0:19 for example), I'm not sure if there's much you can do about it but I wanted to point it out. Anyway, the arrangement for the first minute or so is very conservative, as far as I can tell it's identical to the source (with the exception of the added strings), even if played slower. Around 1:20 we get a choir added and you added some nice extra melodies for the loop transition. At 1:37 we get a repeat of the loop, now with the extra choir, wind lines on top and some modifications on the piano line. At 2:20 we get the B theme from the source again and a lot of the personalization is gone since it's back to being a very straight cover. There's some cool counterpoints on the strings though. After this second loop is done the track ends.

K, so arrangement will be the main thing here. You noted it on the write-up and both me and prophetik above noted it on the reviews... this is very conservative. You changed the instrumentation, which is always nice, but the melodies, chords and structure are almost untouched (except for the transition between loops). I think there is definitely space to differentiate this more, you did a nice job in the section between 1:37 and 2:20 but I don't feel that's enough to clear OCR's bar. Personally, I'd recommend you to work on the structure of the track, right now it's "just" 2 loops of the source that don't really go anywhere. Try to imagine the track having a direction with build-ups and breaks, maybe the piano stops for a section and that changes the dynamics, I dunno, there's many things you could do without changing the soul of the remix.

On production this is fine, the piano sounds pretty and everything is easy to hear but the orchestral samples are only passable. If there's any chance to get collabers on board it'd be awesome but, of course, that isn't a dealbreaker. That said, I'd take a look at how you're processing reverb, some samples sound very washed out and unnatural, like the strings and choir.

Overall, while this is a pretty take on the source and has some nice sounding additional elements it's too conservative for OCR at the moment. I'd love to hear a new take with extra personalization or a more original structure.

NO

Edited Thursday at 02:55 PM by jnWake

[Chimpazilla ⚖️]

Looks like a premaster, tons of unused headroom in the waveform. 

This arrangement is extremely conservative, we all agree on that.  But with the 100% instrumentation change, I don't find this conservatism dealbreaking.  I agree that the first 80 seconds is almost too conservative, but there's a lovely turnaround 1:26, followed by fuller chords with the choir, countermelodies with the woodwinds, and an even more luscious feel.  This arrangement isn't doing anything earth-shattering, but it is utterly lovely and does the job for me for sure.

As per our standards I feel that enough has been done here to differentiate the remix from the source tune.  If this does not pass, please find a way to add a few more original melodies or motifs or something, especially into that first half.  And do some mastering, it doesn't have to be anything major but at least use a final limiter to bring up the overall volume to somewhere around -0.5db peak, hitting maybe -13 to -12db RMS.

YES

[pixelseph ⚖️]

Hi H36T!

As noted by the other Js here, this is two rounds of the A-B loop of the source with 3 bars to vamp into the second repeat around 1:26. The additional instrumentation on the second repeat is a lovely add; having it arrive earlier in the piece would be better from a personalization standpoint. The strings, choral voices, winds, and piano counterpoint line are doing some heavy lifting on that front (and the chimes!), but there's still more that can be done to bring more H36T to the table. 

Proph mentioned adding variation in the velocities of notes for more dynamic contrast in the writing, and I agree. Given the title of the track and the direction intended in the write-up, I agree with Wake that a more subtractive approach to your sections could improve the emotional dynamic curve. I'll add that some rubato (gentle deceleration of the tempo and holding the last note/rest a little longer than the metronome) on the ending of phrases would help break the rigidity of the structure and bring more of the emotional weight to the piece. Right now, it feels locked to the grid and mechanical.

For me to sign off on this, I'd need to hear

• more personalization to the piece, primarily in the dynamics of voices or the dynamic curve of the piece as a whole
• a less locked-to-the-grid/mechanical feel to the presentation

NO (resubmit)

[Hemophiliac ⚖️]

You're right, I did say that I enjoyed your work in progress before, but felt like it needed more. I still feel that even though this one is pretty close right now and feeling borderline. I love the addition of the choir parts and the oboe, they sound beautiful.

More adaption and parts added to this that would put this over the bar in terms of arrangement as we've had even more conservative stuff pass before. See: https://ocremix.org/remix/OCR04768 for an example of such. However, in that case there was also genre adaption going on for more personalization. This one feels almost like the same genre even though the instruments are changed. The opening is particularly very close to the original, until 1:07 when the cello enters and is giving some countermelody.

The humanization and rigidity is also something needs to be brought up as well. I love Seph's suggestion of adding rubato to bring some more life to the piano part, right now it's very locked into the grid. Also the dynamic range is very small, more contrast and variation would also help the expression really shine through as well. Right now it's more robotic and not as expressive as it could be.

Beautiful, but not up to par.

NO