Liontamer Posted September 9, 2007 Share Posted September 9, 2007 remixer name: Rozovian ocremix.org userid: 21613 name of game remixed: Zelda: Majora's Mask name of individual song remixed: "Clock Town - Day 3" - I think comments: I went to the requests forum, saw a request for this one and thought "hey, why not?". Since it feels completed, arrangementwise if not else, I felt it would be a nice first submission. The original isn't very melodic, which made it an interesting song to work on. I added a xylophone to symbolize a ticking clock, and that reminded me of a song I've heard somewhere, long ago, in which the tempo slows down during some ticking instrument - I had to try that myself. I might have made too many tempo changes, though. The drums are the same throughout the song, but are overshadowed by the other instruments. Overall, I'm most worried about the mixing. remix link: Enjoy. -rho ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- You're definitely not mixing what you thought you were mixing. That's ok, I'll do the thinking for both of us. (I kid, I kid.) http://www.zophar.net/usf/lozmmusf.rar - 124 "Final Hours" This source tune is really excellent. First encountered it a couple of months after I joined the panel. Miku whined a lot after his resub was rejected, but he really should have resubmitted again, it would have been a great addition. Onto the mix, the lead sound opening things up was very hollow. This could have used something meatier on the lead, but the texture changed soon enough at :24. The claps sounded out of place due to how flimsy they sounded. The overall texture isn't bad, but it's definitely not fleshed out. 1:41 went for another iteration of the source, only with a brass cameo and some really tense string work, before bringing the weak percussion back at 2:11. Not sure what the heavily reverbed woodwinds were doing there. I like the foreground textures, but the percussion was weak, and there was a lack of dynamic contrast. Without having to build an actual groove, the percussion still could have contributed to the song's textures more effectively. Some of the instrumentation would change here, but dynamically not much was going on in the big picture, leaving the arrangement sounding decent but not strongly engaging. Hopefully some other Js can articulate the issues more strongly and hit at some good ways for you to refine this. There are some good ideas at the core, but the execution lacks. NO (rework/resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zircon Posted November 18, 2007 Share Posted November 18, 2007 Yeah, I think the issue here is basically a lack of interesting writing and orchestration. It seems like there's not a lot of thought given to the dynamic and melodic contour of the different instruments. Each individual part should sound at least relatively musical by itself. In other words, the goal is not just to have block chords underneath a melody, and above a simple bassline. Add more rhythmic motion to the different parts, and don't be afraid to build things up more; I felt like you kept coming back to a very sparse, plain texture of long sustained whole notes. That's easy to write and sequence, but it doesn't sound good, and I think that's what Larry was trying to get at. Production-wise I didn't really have any major problems, except that due to the massive usage of whole, sustained notes, things sounded fake more often than they should. After all, real orchestras rarely are gonna play like that. Use more automation or even a bit of EQ/filtering within a note to increase/decrease perceived 'brightness'. Your samples are good enough though, and none of the voicings were really unrealistic. I would point out though, at times the reverb does sound rather metallic. If you could improve that and make it sound more lush and smooth, that would be great (try adding a little bit of chorus to the reverb wet signal only, not the dry.) The arrangement is well-done in comparison with the original, though it kind of sticks to the same mood and style. This ties back in to my suggestions regarding writing, but you could definitely add some new material and vary the source up to make it even more dynamic and powerful. As it stands, the way the source melody moves, it almost sounds more dramatic than your remix, which is pulled back nearly the entire time. Go above and beyond! One other small complaint, as I couldn't find a good place to put it: the bass drum at 1:25 is just out of place. Doesn't add anything at all, and no one would write like that. Use low brass if you want to reinforce the string marcatos, or add more marcatos on smaller subdivisions of the beat (eg. 8th note) but at lower velocities, so it sounds more intense. A good effort, and while it has a ways to go, I've heard a lot worse today. Keep at it. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted November 19, 2007 Share Posted November 19, 2007 With a title like "Ticking Clock," I expected more of a pulse. The bass drum doesn't begin to provide that. You need something deep here; low pizzicato cello or SOMETHING. There's not a lot of dynamic contrast here, which makes it all sound a little boring. Like Andy said, you need some more motion here. If there's not enough material in the source, go ahead and hunt around in the other tracks from the game; you might find something that meshes well, and if it doesn't mesh perfectly, make it. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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