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Schala's Theme attempt #3 jimmy


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I enjoy the vocals in the intro, but they seem to get a little stale after a while. It does sound very nice at first, though. Also, I think some parts of this mix seem a little dissonant, and at times, I feel like the percussion doesn't fit in with the song. I also feel that some of the samples sound a tad fake. I'd work mainly on getting some better samples (check out zircon's sample thread in the ReMixing forum) and just making everything flow a little more cohesively. Other than that, this song has potential and I think you should stick with it!

I'll give you some more feedback when you make your next update.

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wow...praise from a remixer :D, allright I'll see what I can do. Are the drums too fast for the tempo?

Arg, I don't really know how to make it more cohesive, I thought that the transitions weren't half bad /sigh. Do I have to completely rearrange certain parts?

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Okay...so I've decided to totally mutilate my song and make it a lot more natural and less chaotic. I've saved the older ftp in case I fuck up; we'll see what I can concoct in a more(Sensei Tan)(2007) "sensical way" (page asshole). If you guys barf on it, I can always try a different angle then...or have a break from it a while to gain a fresh perspective...anyhow, stay tuned for my upcoming version of schala remix.

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Ya, production issues aside, I'd say this is a step forward. I can't say I like the chord progression during the intro. I'd say you could aim for another mellow section after the drummy stuff. Drums are sequenced kind of awkwardly, the crashes and fills don't make much sense. Keep on it though.

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thanks sensei :D

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/ngrl/Schala_remix4_Bass_ASS is newest ver. JJT (and as you guys have always been saying) convinced me to put a REAL bass part into the song, so I did :D. PLUS I stuck to the same drum kit mainly, have to work on the transition on the finale though...

Maybe a schycho drum roll or something...hmm

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thanks sensei :D

http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/ngrl/Schala_remix4_Bass_ASS is newest ver. JJT (and as you guys have always been saying) convinced me to put a REAL bass part into the song, so I did :D. PLUS I stuck to the same drum kit mainly, have to work on the transition on the finale though...

Maybe a schycho drum roll or something...hmm

Alright, you've made quite a few changes in this update, and while it's much more cohesive, I'm still gonna point out some things with this that I feel you should work on.

0:00 - 0:28 - Some of the parts here are kinda fake sounding. Maybe it's just because I've used Sytrus before, but a lot of the ambient sounds sound somewhat fake, especially the gulls. My advice to you on this area would be to go to http://www.findsounds.com/ and find your sounds there. You can practically find almost any sound you're looking for, and more. Plus, it's free! It also seems like that pad you're using is overpowering everything, I'd turn it down a little bit.

0:29 - 2:10 - The reversed cymbal is a nice way to lead in to the next part, but I think there should be some kind of "oomph" when that part hits, maybe a slight crash or bass drum or something. On the subject of bass drums, I could hardly hear the bass drum during this part, you should definitely make the bass drum hit a little harder. There are also certain parts where it sounds like it gets too loud and things get over compressed. Overall, most of the instruments in this section seem like they're just backing instruments for the most part. You should definitely try to work in some type of lead somewhere during this segment.

2:10 - 3:08 - The transition here is pretty cool IMO, so props on that. Everything is sounding alright up until 2:25, where you introduce the electric guitar synth. It sounds menacing enough, but you should probably change it to something that doesn't sound like it's trying to imitate an electric guitar, like just a regular synth with some distortion effects or something like that. Also, like the last section, this would really benefit with some type of lead instrument. With the voices and everything, it sounds like a pretty epic outro, but everything still sounds like it's backing something, like it's the support for some potentially awesome lead melody.

Overall, I think your main concern should be just checking out some free soundfonts and VSTs, you can find a bunch in this thread: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=4556

By just spending some time screwing around with some of the free sounds that the internet has to offer, you can greatly improve upon this. Adding a lead instrument should be one of your top priorities as well.

You've improved quite a bit on this since you've started, but it still has a long way to go if you want to get this submitted. OCR has a very high bar set for ReMixers, but that's why you hear nothing but kick-ass music from the site. Just remember that there's always people in the WIP forum, as well as the judges, who will give you advice on a mix.

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how should i create a lead rhythm/note riff? Should I make it a sort of counter melody? Sigh...I've got so much to learn still T_T

well just find another instrument that sounds good to you and experiment with note usage. Just be wary of wrong notes in a chord progression, if your going to improvise a melody, spend a lot of time on it to be on the safe side is what i would suggest. I wouldnt use an instrument you already have, since it does seem to be already set up as a background.

I think the biggest issue is the drums. I would suggest taking a step back and listening to them in the track. Doesnt it seem kinda ridgid? The drums are awkwardly staggered and it detracts from the great synths youve got going on. I really like those synths. Quite simply the drums are all over the place.

Heres what i mean.

You have 4 (noticeable) drum beats going on at different parts of the song.

To make it easier to understand (and i dont know how much you know about music theory), I set this up to show where your bass beat hits within the 4 beats of a measure ( And im pretty sure your in 4/4 time). IE the possible beats you can pick in a measure are usually in

1-e-&-a 2-e-&-a 3-e-&-a 4-e-&-a

So heres where your beats seem to fall:

1st progression: & 2 &

2nd progression: 1 2

3rd:progression 1 & a 2 & a 3 & a 4 & a

4th progression: & 2 &

I could be wrong, but thats what i can hear. Anyways, it just doesnt seem fluid, or like you intentionally staggered them to have the effect they do.

A lot can be done by ear to make them smooth but its a good idea to have a general understanding of drum rhythm usage styles as well, and how one should use them to ones advantage.

Ok so talk is cheap, and any one can critique you. So, to demonstrate to you what i mean, i actually made you a drum loop wav. What i suggest is just muting ure drum tracks and playing this alongside your track to get a feel for what i mean. Im not saying it should be this style, but just to find one that emphasizes the track it enforces. The tempo is already queued, all you have to do is play it. Im pretty sure your song is at 140 bpms and thats what this track is set to.

Drum example

As a side note, i hope you realize that although this may not be a post-worthy mix yet, you have come a hell of a long way my friend. To help boost your encouragement, im gonna link one of the fuckin shittiest songs i ever made (also one of the first) when i was about 16. Lemme put it this way: Your stuff has miles on mine when i first started.

Behold my craptacularness!

Anyhow, Wip it, wip it good.

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hehe thanks Davidicus - you know the right balance of critiquing, without giving false hope and such (unlike me ^.^). I shall look into that drum stuff - mind u I cheat...I use drum loops I'm sorry *cries on shoulder* can you ever forgive me??? Lol, anyways I'll try to make my own drums and I'll try to follow them tips on your link u posted me.

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