*NO* Ico 'Day Dreamer'
Posted 19 December 2011 - 07:45 PM
Game arranged: Ico
Name of arrangement: Day Dreamer
Name of song arranged: Heal
Link to Heal:
Hey guys! This is my first remix, and also my first time ever working with a DAW. Since I’m so new to this stuff, I thought I’d pick a pretty simple tune to practice on and learn some of the basics. Heal is one of my favorite tracks from the game, but there isn’t a whole lot there, so I thought I’d try and fill it out a bit. I’ll have to admit, I didn’t always know what I was doing, but hopefully it turned out okay. Enjoy!
Posted 18 January 2012 - 03:24 AM
Posted 10 March 2012 - 02:01 AM
I think the notes and arrangement were good, but for a good deal of the track, the drums were on autopilot something fierce. The little tom fills helped, and the beat changeup for the piano section, but for the most part it was incredibly boring and empty writing. There are some killer solos in here; put the same amount of care into your drum writing, please!!!
I absolutely love this track, but I really think the drum writing should be looked at again. This song has the potential to be legendary, but the drums need to be more engaging. I may get outnumbered here (and maybe I am actually hoping that'll happen), but I gotta say it needs some more polish and attention paid to the drum writing.
No, please resubmit
Posted 20 March 2012 - 05:10 PM
-not personally a fan of the first lead at :36, but there's nothing necessarily wrong with it.
-by then, I'm also already kinda eh on the drums. kinda random mix of samples you have there, maybe it's just the tom patterns layered with the club hi-hat. dunno, they just don't feel cohesive in terms of timbre, placement, reverb/fx, etc..
-1:52, excellent breakdown, and great a great piano solo, but the sequencing is a bit stiff in terms of timing and note velocities.
-LOVE the bells at 2:32, this whole section is great. I love that weird processed build up in the background too.
-the rest of the song is pretty good. nice synth solo.
anyway, really digging this song overall, and the arrangement is fantastic, but I'm not quite comfortable passing this yet. like OA, improving the drums a bit would probably sway me, but I think this could use a bit of polish in other aspects as well. hope to hear a resub!
Posted 21 March 2012 - 10:03 PM
The overall levels need to be louder; especially for the second half where you get lots of original writing on top of the quietly arranged source, it's important the source isn't pushed too far in the background. And the drums being on auto-pilot definitely could use some more variation. Again, with the relatively sparse soundscape, when any of the sequencing/realism is off, or an idea's beat into the ground like the drums, it stands out more. Just noting though, the percussion repetition issue bothered me significantly less because once the first pattern at :13 dropped off at 1:38, it didn't come back until 3:12 or repeat anywhere near as excessively.
This is probably 85% of the way there, and the core arrangement itself doesn't need to be altered at all. But I'd make the overall levels louder, OR vary up the drum/cymbal pattern more from :13-1:38, OR get the piano to sound fuller and thereby less obviously fake and sequenced-sounding. halc had other valid points about the instrumentation, but overall it clicked and I don't think anything NEEDED to be tweaked there.
Anyway, none of the criticism are MANDATORY to address, but the main takeaway is that there are some smaller issues that prevent this from better realizing the potential of the arrangement. Figure out what crits are valid for you, give this some additional tweaks and polish, and DEFINTELY resubmit this if this doesn't make it. Love the arrangement ideas, and we'd love another Ico mix, as well as more submissions from you, since you have great ideas.
Posted 22 March 2012 - 03:53 AM
The drum writing itself is also a bit problematic in my opinion. Most of it was passable but I do feel like there's some parts (such as that ride cymbal or some of the tom fills) that you'd do well to revisit and polish up a little bit. Also, consider doing something different with how you actually bring in the kick, it kind of just drops right in there without very much of a lead-in. (That's definitely just a personal suggestion, but maybe you can come up with an entrance that's a little more nuanced and creative? I think it would make the intro a lot better.)
Drums are pretty much my biggest issue here though, everything else is sounding much better, especially for your first time working with a DAW Your melodies are great and reasonably well-sequenced. I wasn't bothered by the piano sequencing or the tone, really - I thought it fit pretty well. The writing is pretty restrained and the synths are pretty basic for the first half of the song, but when you start getting some more solos and dynamic writing going, this really kicks in and I can see why the other judges enjoyed this so much. The organ/synth solo at the end is practically euphoric, and I'm really getting into the mood of the song at that point. The supporting writing on the piano and your secondary synths is really smooth, no sore spots there as far as I'm concerned.
Your overall mastering is troublesome. I had to crank my volume way up to get this one to sound right, which means you mastered this too quietly. That's definitely something to fix too before you resubmit. The mixing and levels was pretty solid, I'm impressed that you were able to get such a good sound out of your first submission!
Lots of great stuff going on here, but it needs some polish. Hopefully between the 5 votes here you'll have plenty of advice to take into consideration and you'll be able to fix this up and send it back. Really looking forward to a resub on this
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