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Treasure goodness ... !

How does this not have more views? Seriously this is beautiful.

I agree, it sounds like some kind of fizzy saw or maybe even a wavetable thing that's really high up, doing a simple 1, -5, -12 arp and having some filter modulated on it so that only the first note sounds really "fizzy". I feel like I've heard this sound in z3ta+2 and Synth 1 (though obviously that's not what he used here).

Hey, sounds like you're at the start of an interesting process. I hope you'll find what you seek. Two things came to mind when I read your post: 1. I heard a sermon once where the speaker talked about this paradox. He suggested that when we look for happiness, we won't find it. But when we're not looking for it, happiness tends to come alongside. I thought that was interesting. 2. I also remember a TED talk in which the speaker talked about how people who turn their hobby into their work - that is to say: their job is to do what they like to do the most - are the most likely people to burn out. His suggested remedy was to go find a need in the community and to do something to meet that need. A side effect of that may well be that feeling of happiness and finding meaning. Maybe these thoughts can benefit you on your quest. :) Personally, I'm starting to see that the most important and meaningful things in life involve serving/helping other people. Most of my hobbies and interests are fairly self-oriented, so I'm trying to find things that help people other than myself. I'm doing some translation work on a voluntary basis and found that this is really appreciated by others. As a bonus effect I feel more useful and happy, knowing that what I'm doing actually has some impact somewhere (before, I always felt like I was disconnected from the world around me and that what I did, either good or bad, had no effect on my surroundings whatsoever).