Liontamer
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Posts posted by Liontamer
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Usually, Guillaume's timestamps line up and make sense, but these were a couple of seconds off, so it threw me off.
The "Unrest" sections were harder to make out. Liberal, but I groked it.
YES
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Great energy at :33 with the melody prominently arriving after the more subtle build. The mixing's very lossy-sounding, and I'm not sure why, though 1:14 seemed to allow some more high-end frequencies through. Back to thick beats at 1:35, and this is mixed in a very muddy way. Yeah, it's just staying like this the whole way through. This soundset is beefy, but the mixing is very muddy.
I'll need some time to wrap my head around the source tune usage in the arrangement with the rhythmic changes; at the very least, I'd love a source usage breakdown from Trevor explaining what's referenced where. For now, a timestamping is kind of moot point, because the mixing kills this regardless of the arrangement and musicianship. MindWanderer said "after listening to it several times, I realized there are accompanying synths that are almost completely drowned out, like an arp at 1:36-1:57", and that's definitely right. Nearly every section sounds muffled, like a fan recorded this on a bootleg tape.
If you can fix the mixing, and the source tune usage is confirmed solid in terms of dominating the arrangement, then I'd love this posted in some form. Amazing energy here, Trevor; definitely don't drop it if it doesn't make it as is.
NO (resubmit)
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On 3/13/2023 at 3:51 PM, MindWanderer said:
I also have some mixed feelings about the concept, though. It's storytelling with accompaniment, not music with spoken word. As a submission that isn't dominantly music, let alone source material, I'm not sure it's not a standards violation.
If we run into a track where the music is effectively obscured by vocals or spoken word, I think there'd be a discussion. For this, I don't think one would argue that's the case here. The music's always plainly audible and there are also areas where there are no vocals with the VGM arrangement.
On 3/13/2023 at 3:51 PM, MindWanderer said:(Now, those spoken words are "source," in that they're taken from the in-game text, but that's a question I don't know that we've considered before.)
A long time ago, we removed two ye olden Counter-Strike subs for being original compositions + in-game SFX, and we had a ye olden Diablo sub that was just an original composition with sampled in-game narration on top. We're a game music arrangement site, so if someone submits an original composition that included game-sourced script/copy, that's not a VGM arrangement.
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Opens and closes sampling the "Item Room" theme, but it's brief and a bookend technique. A simple but interesting soundscape to start. A wholly original line comes in at :31 (it does sound Brinstar-y, MindWanderer's right).
"Norfair" arrives at :51 with a very fake-sounding brass sample that lacks depth. Some minimalist beats arrived at 1:13, then the texture filled in more at 1:33 with some variations on "Norfair". All the brass, even layered, sounds very thin and mechanical; I'd argue it's not a viable lead as is since it'll never sound organic. Texturally, this is still too thin, and arguably doesn't fill out until 1:54 when a denser padding line came in.
2:14 continued filling in more, and you can hear how the track tries to evolve, but the blocky timing and relatively thin textures still drag out. I liked the change in the lead at 2:40-2:48; it could potentinally get tired after a while, but works there in terms of varying up the sounds. Some light electric guitar chugs entered into the picture at 2:49, followed by it doubling the lead at 3:05, then handling the countermelody at 3:15; very creative way to keep that part involved yet have it regularly switch roles.
At 3:25, we were back to the thinner textures, and this is just too relatively thin for too long to work, even though the effort is noticeably there to vary and build these textures. To me, the brass leads should be replaced. When expanding out the sounds, one would think the rigid timing would still work, but it's currently not. Would any musicians Js familiar with minimalism be able to offer Grant some production tips to help this sound more cohesive?
NO (resubmit)
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9 hours ago, Chimpazilla said:
There are additional musical themes incorporated into this arrangement. I hear the "I Love Lucy" theme from 2:11-2:20, and "When You Wish Upon A Star" from 2:20-2:26.
Good catch on the theme cameos. I'd already noticed the latter one, but wasn't listening closely enough to catch the very well-integreated "I Love Lucy" theme. Nice! It's only 15 seconds of non-VGM cameos, so no problem re: the Submissions Standards.
9 hours ago, Chimpazilla said:This is a unique submission. I have never heard a remix presented to OCR in this way (Js, Larry, are there others?). [...] The vocal line sounds forced and unnatural to me, clearly being read instead of more naturally/gently spoken.
As far as a story narration, I can't recall another ReMix in that format, but I'll check. To me, it doesn't really matter one way or the other. If you eliminated the spoken word entirely, you have an interpretive enough, developed enough VGM arrangement, so anything else is a bonus.
As far as Michelle's delivery, I don't see what the problem is. Maybe XPRTNovice may have some tips as a pro VA, but everything's reasonably emotive and strongly delivered, IMO, and the delivery involves a brighter and more forceful style while employing plenty of vocal variety. Without being able to hear my tone due to this being text, it'll sound like I'm saying there's a low bar on this kind of performance; however one would feel about this narration, it's more than capable and rising above any reasonable hobbyist performance bar. I'd rather not nitpick this, because none of the performance is a drawback vis-a-vis the Submissions Standards, just the mixing.
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Cool, a narrated story format. I'm sorry for being unable to properly articulate the mixing issues; IMO, the narration vocals were too loud and don't really feel like they sit within the music. It may be a stylistic thing where the narration should have a sharper edge to it, but it was odd hearing almost click-like finishes to syllables (e.g. the Ts at 1:32 "comet" & 1:34 "planet", the D at 2:37 "dearest"). I felt like I was getting a lot of shrill frequencies throughout with the instrumental, yet the piece also lacked high-end clarity.
Not sure what that stray gurgling/static noise from 5:06-5:14 was; maybe it was intentional, but sounds like a mistake. The last sung note at 5:43 could use tuning to smooth it out (though the toy piano underneath it seemed to reorient things and resolve it alright). The ending also cut off too fast; gotta let that final toy piano note get that second or two to hang and fade out.
The crits are nothing holding back this strong arrangement from being approved, but if Joe were open to it, would love to get another mixing pass on this. If we can't, I'm still in favor of this going up. Nice concept and good interpretive iterations of the source themes.
YES
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LINK:
- Your ReMixer name: Newmajoe [arrangement, production, saxophones, toy piano, backup vocals]
Other musicians: Michelle Dreyband [vocals] Sam Schwartz [Guitar, Mandolin, mastering].- Your real name: Joe Newman
- Your email address:
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Your website(s): https://joenewman.
bandcamp.com/
- Name of game(s) arranged: Super Mario Galaxy
- Name of arrangement: The Little Girl And The Star
- Name of individual song(s) arranged:
Luma, Gusty Garden Galaxy, Rosalina in the Observatory.- Additional information about game including composer, system, etc. (if it has not yet been added to the site)
The lyrics are adapted from the in-game "Rosalina's Story" written by Yoshiaki Koizumi, the game's director.- Link to the original soundtrack (if it is not one of the sound archives already available on the site)
- Your own comments about the mix, for example the inspiration behind it, how it was made, etc.
The arrangement was created for the Dwelling of Duels February competition, which was "Mario" month. I was inspired by classic "storybook readings" with traditional film scoring, much like Disney audiobooks. My three year old daughter is obsessed with these stories, and I jumped at the chance to compose something for her in this chamber style. (You might even be able to guess her name if you listen closely for some quotes in the arrangement!) My collaborators Michelle (vocals) and Sam (strings) threw themselves 100% into this project, and were involved at every stage of production. I absolutely could not have done this without them.Best,Joe -
A Bollywood and tango hybrid's no doubt an interesting approach. Opens sounding like Super Mario 64's "Lethal Lava Land" with the mood. Theme kicks in at :07 with a nice rhythmic change, but the strings sound so rigidly timed. At :23, the piano sounds thin and mechanical, then the clap-driven beats at :24 were really flimsy and didn't drive the track forward. The accordion at :31 was really stilted. :48 hit an original section that sounded texturally empty, but brought back the source melody underneath at :55. Back to the underwhelming beats at 1:04, and I noticed how the foreground feels like it's the bass and beats, with the melody competing for space and the supporting strings being obscured.
I liked the transition at 1:25 (that delay effect gave the accordion some depth to the sound) into the source tune's next section, although the steel drum timing sounded so robotic. Thank you for the new beats at 1:41; I'd argue the change was overdue, so consider varying them up earlier.
The rhythms are much more interesting, and the strings at 1:57 sound serviceable, though they need a richer sound.
Wow, a VERY underwhelming & sudden ending. It's comes off so lazy, which is unintentional but likely how it would be taken by many others, so I'm keeping it real here. Even in the original itself, it takes more time for that section to play out and then transition back to the beginning, so why not consider it here as well and ensure it doesn't feel like such an abrupt close?
The final string notes should have been given time to breathe and there's literally no resolution, it sounds much more like a work-in-progress sketch where you say "I'll come back to this later to finish it", so don't give up on including some other arrangement ideas to wrap it up in a cohesive way.
It's a good concept, Hanabi & Alter; the structure is conservative, but the interpretation is there with the new instrumentation, beats, and rhythms. But the arrangement is clearly unfinished with the way this ends. I also felt the instrumentation realism was in the uncanny valley on practically everything, which was another dealbreaker for me; the tones were decent yet noticeably thin, and the sequencing was too rigid, so the timing felt very blocky and locked to grid. Would love to hear a musician judge offer some tips on how to mitigate the realism issues and achieve a more believeable sound with tools like these.
NO (resubmit)
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Name of game(s) arranged: Donkey Kong Country (DKC)
- Name of arrangement: Tantric Hijinx
- Name of individual song(s) arranged: Jungle Hijinx
- Your ReMixer name: HANABI [하나비], Alter Loy
- Your real name: Aaron (Hanabi), Alter (dunno real name but is not that needed right?)
- Your email address:
- Your website(s): https://open.spotify.com/artist/1V0ertkugC2gsMZPdFnfd2?si=K75wAq9ESQ6jIV08oYwaQQ (Spotify) and https://www.youtube.com/@HANABI_Music (Youtube), Alter Loy's Spotify too so you have his spotify to tag as well: https://open.spotify.com/artist/7rL0RtqIfDQGJpLv7IWIcq?si=O0z1TeqiT8u4RtATK5-GDQ&app_destination=copy-link
- Additional information about game including composer, system, etc. (if it has not yet been added to the site): Composer - David Wise, System: SNES
- Link to the original soundtrack (if it is not one of the sound archives already available on the site): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjRw9X2Hxro
- Your own comments about the mix, for example the inspiration behind it, how it was made, etc: I am half Indian, and Alter Loy is Spanish so we did an Indo-Spanish fusion track.
I noticed the track isnt here: https://ocremix.org/game/47/donkey-kong-country-snes -
Ha, this feels kind of like going for a Super Metroid-type of approach, which I dig. The mixing's not great: from :36-:52 for example, it feels like the background parts (not the lead) are competing to be heard amongst themselves. Man, :52-1:24 just feels empty, then to be followed up by an even more barren section from 1:24-1:40 is a bad contrast. Then from 1:40-2:12, the backing synths sound like they're massively off-key. 2:17's section also seems interesting, but the sound of the lead is stilted and anemic. Ending was needlessly messed up; if you're going to do an ongoing playback-type of fadeout, don't stop the instrumentation flat like you did at 2:58, let it continue.
This is an interesting arrangement concept, Lucas, but I'm hearing all potential and no polish. The musician judges will be able to better articulate why this isn't clicking yet; for me, the beats don't have enough oomph to fill up the soundscape, and all of the timing feels too rigid without the body/depth to the sounds to give it personality. No cohesion achieved here yet.
Limited time spent creating something isn't an inherent knock on a product -- DDRKirby(ISQ)'s spent a career disproving that due to One Hour Compo. That said, I think you could pull this up into something passable, but I'm also not hearing enough time invested in this -- or sensing enough comfort with these tools -- to feel like it would be a bankable outcome. Whether you can get this there depends on your level of interest and further experimentation.
NO (resubmit)
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Weird instrumentation from the jump. OK, I'm not fully on board but you have my attention.
The beat pattern brought in at :10 is initially interesting, but I did feel it was used too much without enough variation besides dropping them out entirely; employing some different patterns and/or sounds could have been good.
By 1:27, I'm waiting for something else to change-up as the instrumentation is getting fatiguing; in terms of dynamics, the beat did drop out at 1:54, so that's at least something.
The mixing was alright, though it does lack high-end sharpness, and proph was right about the imbalances though I can live with them. Laughing out loud at the juice this arrangement has despite the corniest instrumentation ever. I'm definitely in the camp of hearing how this has flaws in the mixing and repetitive feel but have enough strengths to pull it over the line. Not my cup of tea, but chamomile can be hot in the streets too!
YES
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Beautiful stuff, particularly the tremolo string writing. The brass isn't the best, but the overall texture is solid; a little too muddy, maybe, but it overall achieves the mystical mood it's going for. The countermelodies having a more ghostly quality underneath the melody (e.g. 1:01-1:20) was a wonderful touch. Good job with the instrumentation tradeoff for the melodies, a tactic that's worked very well for Rebecca, as well as her signature percussive ornamentation.
Shining, shimmering, splendid. (Peabo Bryson-approved?)
YES
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Noticeably crunchy & pumping to start until :13. Cool subtle sound design stuff going on underneath to add some omnious sounds into the texture The soundscape's somewhat washed out, but I'm making out the parts fine.
Probably could have done without the "Put your hands in the air" sampling at 1:06, then the next part at 1:20 did sound distorted when the beat came in at 1:23 (and also obscured the melodic line at 1:33, though that was short-lived). A needed changeup happened at 1:46 to drop things out and clear out some clutter. I liked the quiet bubbly line getting pushed up at 2:26.
More of that club chanting sampling, which wasn't my cup of tea and didn't really integrate well; maybe the clips just sounded too low-quality and didn't feel like they were in the same "room" as the music.
More overdriven stuff from 2:56 until the 3:19; IMO, too loud while slightly abrasive, but I can live with it.
There were elements I didn't feel clicked, but Dustin's arrangement is still solid. The theme is meaningfully expanded upon via the instrumentation and denser textures, as well as the original music and audio clip transitions. Creepy club sound achieved!
YES
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What did you think? Post your opinion of this ReMix.
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Though not a huge deal, the woodwinds didn't cut through at all during the intro lasting until :21. The electric guitar panning was way too wide and didn't make sense on headphones. From :37-1:32, there's also a crunchiness to the soundscape, though I couldn't tell you why that's happening; from 2:09-2:12, it sounded like the brass flourish was distorting, then there's constant distortion from 2:25 until the end.
Production-wise, this needs a serious reexamination, and I think the YESs have lost the plot, nor would I accept this as is if the source files were gone.
Something about the way this has been mixed feels like shit's been overdriven, so there's pervasive and unpleasant distortion and crunch. I hope fixing this would be a straightforward enough process, because with the personalization via the instrumentation and performances, it's a great arrangement and an easy pass.
NO (resubmit)
EDIT (8/1): This version's certainly mixed better. That said, since I'm still listening on headphones, the panning's still too wide; maybe it's a non-issue for speakers/monitors. It sounds like various parts are nearly, if not totally, exclusive to one ear. Overall, it sounds like too much is panned hard right, and that's actually my weaker ear, so it's gotta be drastic if I'm going to notice. I wish I could go YES (conditional) at this point, but addressing panning feels like it would be a lot more involved. Whether this sustained and extremely wide panning's intentional or not, my vote has to stay the same unless the panning's addressed.
EDIT (9/12): The panning's still too wide, I wish the overall sound was sharper, and 1:25-1:27 felt to me like some very minor distortion was there, so some nitpicks still exist. That being said, this newly mastered version Felipe sent actually eliminates the crunchiness and distortion! We do have the unmastered version he sent as well (check the first post), in case one of you Js think you could improve it even more. To me, the arrangement's solid, so we shouldn't tinker with the mixing any longer, when we now have a viable rendition of the track! Glad to FINALLY be able to flip this vote!
YES
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It'll sound like I'm saying it's an apples to apples comparison. I voted that this was too flat at the time, but I didn't agree with that vote years later.
It sets a mood and works within those guardrails, so I'd argue that's also what's happening here.
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What did you think? Post your opinion of this ReMix.
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I'm sincerely glad that Kiragon & Kyana were willing to submit this for our Mario month. I tweeted at them directly encouraging them to send this in after discovering this, and always want to encourage folks worldwide to join the community!
Very interesting to hear this basically stay with the same structure and tempo yet feel personalized in the performance, showing how the live performances add that personalized touch, particularly Kyana's wild drumming.
The bonanza of other Mario franchise cameos from 1:15-2:01 was also wonderfully integrated with the main source tune subtly staying in play the whole time, then went back into a faster iteration of the theme (final lap!) for the short-but-sweet closing section at 2:05! Great energy throughout, and love the Kart series getting some representation.
YES
My version of the song list based on Kiragon's notes:
Mario Kart 8 (WIIU) - "GCN Yoshi Circuit"
Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island (SNES) - "Flower Garden"
Super Smash Bros. Brawl (WII) - "Yoshi: Wildlands"
Mario Kart 8 (WIIU) - "Dolphin Shoals - Above Ground"
Super Mario World (SNES) - "Athletic BGM"
Super Smash Bros. (N64) - "Yoshi's Island Stage"
Super Mario Kart (SNES) - "Final Lap" -
ReMixer name: Kiragon o Bardo
Real name: Herbert Nunes Moura
Email address:
Website(s): https://www.youtube.com/@KiragonoBardo
https://www.instagram.com/kiragon_obardo/
User id: 38523Featuring Kyana on the drums
ReMixer name: Kyana
Real name: Kanamori Yoshihiro
Website(s): https://twitter.com/game_yk_hml_310
https://www.instagram.com/game_yk_hml_310/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXkFJX0qajj8wLsRctfbp3w?app=desktop
https://www.tiktok.com/@game_yk_hml_310
https://min.togetter.com/zARqVNT
User id: 38525Name of game(s) arranged: Mario Kart series
Mario Kart: Double Dash!! (2003)
Mario Kart DS (2005)
Mario Kart 8 (DLC Pack 1) (2014)
Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (2017)
Mario Kart Tour (2019)
Name of arrangement: Yoshi Race love Remix Version
Name of individual song(s) arranged: Yoshi Circuit
Additional information about game: This song first appeared in “Mario Kart: Double Dash!!” for GameCube, and the original composers are Shinobu Tanaka and Kenta Nagata
Link to the original soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpXqPFtEpDE&ab_channel=DavidBoschComments about the mix:
Kiragon: “This specific mix features Kyana, a very talented drummer from japan, the other instruments are played by me, you can also hear it with soulless drums MIDIs and a super cool video edition that I made on my youtube channel! The arrangement has many influences and references, the instrumentation itself was inspired by the game "yoshi's story", so the main lines are played in a melodica and a recorder flute. I made sure it had some elements from all the original versions of this track, but the main reference was the "mario kart 8" version. At the solo part it's almost a medley, it has many references, the "super smash bros" versions of these songs inspired most of them, among those are: Flower Garden from "Yoshi's Island", Wildlands from "Yoshi's Island DS", The "Mario Kart" Lick from dophin shoals from "mario kart 8", Athletic theme (bongos) from "Super Mario World" and Yoshi's Story theme.”
Kyana: “I made the drums part after listening to the Alberto's playing.
I kept in mind to cover the drums part, to entertain not only the listener, but also the player!”
P.S: Alberto is me, Kiragon, my friends call me Alberto for some reason.
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(:00-:17), :21-:26, :34.75-:40.25, (47.75-58.75), :58.75-1:01, 1:05.5-1:08, (1:08-1:15), 1:15-1:57, (1:57-2:07), 2:07-2:20.5, 3:03-3:44, 3:51.75-3:57.5
I was coming up source-light based on just listening for the SMB2 source, but the sweeping sound at the very beginning that's used 3 more times later on in the track sounded like the Super Mario World castle theme melody (timestamps for those in parens), so I asked Xaleph if that was inspired by it and he said "Yeah, since the source material didn’t have a ton, I listened to a lot of different Mario songs. The goal was to make the song "feel" like a Mario song. So the sounds and sweeps/fx chosen was aimed to support that theme." Alright, with that additional connection in place, I'm OK with approving this on arrangement grounds for adequate source usage.
We just posted another strong version of this by Tab Newflax, so it's always intriguing for me to hear darker takes on this SMB2 theme. Very lively instrumentation and absolutely killer production; everything sounds vibrant & impactful. Funny to read how the seemingly female vocals in the final original section were Matt pitched up and effected; very cool!
YES
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- Project Folder Link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B7SHU9QrxpWSQklEWUZmYlk4N3M?resourcekey=0-zyzFS3R2C0uvbIvmenvYgw&usp=sharing
- Direct File Link: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1wevbZYuEfj-qCO_ijLnFh6rLjs-2B_U_&authuser=sabol.matthew%40gmail.com&usp=drive_fsThis information is found in the README.md in the project folder
Contact Information
- Your ReMixer name: Xaleph
- Your real name: Matthew Sabol
- Your email address: sabol.matthew@gmail.com
- Your website(s): https://www.animeremix.org
- Your userid (number, not name) on our forums: 458
Submission Information
- Name of game(s) arranged: Super Mario Bros. 2
- Name of arrangement: The Muu Dream Machine
- Name of individual song(s) arranged: Underground BGM (https://ocremix.org/song/229/underground-bgm)
Summary
Ok - so I wrote this 3 times. Mainly because my daughter didn't like the other two. I'm hoping she submits to the site soon-ish (maybe a collab?). In any case, I loved this theme when I played this game years ago. I always felt like it had a psytrance vibe to it and wanted to get around to mixing it. I was hoping to finish this for Mario month.
Oh yeah - kids are older, and I have more music equipment now. It's been a while and you guys rock.
Details
Several less obvious additions from the source material are in the remix.
- The squeak at 1:15 through 1:39 is the bongos used in the song
- The original baseline is used in 4 different synths playing it in different parts of the mix.
The quotes are from the public domain archives.org compiled from a list of public domain movie quotes. The bundle was from "Beaker Sample V2".
I know the piece is psytrance and I could easily expand this out to a 7-minute-long piece to gradually evolve it. I wanted to keep it interesting for a wider audience and so it's a little more aggressive when it comes to changes. There are a few places where it feels like it's rushing through a story rather than enjoying it. Though there isn't a lot in the source material, I had plenty of source remix content I removed (see the rewrites) - and it was a decision to keep it relatively short.
0:05-0:48 I spent a lot of time with the psytrance basses to get the thump and the purr you hear at 0:27 and throughout the piece. I'm using 2 main synth basses with 2 matrix sequencers that automate synth controls and 3 direct automated controls. I'm not using any tools to loop/automate the baseline as I do quite a few custom things with it and wanted that control throughout the piece.
I really wanted to push this concept of the dream throughout the piece, many of the sound effects (some from SMB2) and some are just dream/nightmare sfx either synth created or using the new Reason Mimic sampler. From the break at 0:48 and beyond, you'll hear this sfx. The final one that is subtle is the slow breathing (I used the maelstrom, bounced it, added some sfx, and slowed it down to make it sound like a digital dreamer). At 1:53 there is an sfx that's from SMB2 (thank you zophar's domain) that I use as a swell/crash.
At 2:36, I was tempted to reach out to friend violinists or to get their consent to chop up some existing samples I had from prior recordings. What's here is sadly not a live violin. If the part was more involved, I would have reached out and set up a recording session. I still had a lot of fun writing the bridge and building it up afterward.
3:03-3:44, more original bass part I keep evolving
3:44-3:58, a lot of bouncing/freezing and manipulating to get that glitchy sound. I really wanted to tie back in the original theme before the ending.
3:58-end, That's me singing. The breathing is a little weird - but the whole song is, so yeah... I did a little voice modification (pitch shift + ~2 formant I think?). That piano ending was probably one of my favorite parts as the chord progression was a little interesting with the minor diminished chords.
Mastering - I used -10 LUFS as the target. If this isn't loud enough or too loud, let me know. It's an easy thing to fix. I'm sidechaining the highpass and I'm using some Ozone Element tools. I'm no expert at mastering, especially my own mixes. If something is off, let me know asap and I'll correct it.
Tools Used
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Reason 12.5.1
- Subtractor
- Maelstrom
- Monotone Bass Synthesizer
- Kong
- Radical Piano
- Thor
- NN-XT
- for Reason FX - a ton of filters, compressors, Audiomatic was used a ton, Scream 4, Pulveriser, Quartet/Sweeper, Reason's various delay/reverb
- Glitchmachines Hysteresis
- Valhalla various fx (Echo/etc)
- xfer records - Serum 1.357
- Izotope Ozone Elements 9
And wow - I started writing this at 11pm and it's now 3:25am. -
Good atmosphere to start. Right from the rip, the crackling, on-the-fritz electricity and computer stuff felt too repetitive and made me pay attention to that over the theme at :54, so mixing it up more would have been helpful. Maybe it works better when the SFX patterns are integrated into the music's structure, e.g. "Allfactory" or "Clouded Mind and Ringing Ears". I like the changes in the melody and the mood is solid though, especially the chorus, where I dig the piano chords adding some fullness.
At 1:53, I was waiting for something else to happen; finally something new in the writing at 2:06 going over into the bridge; I'd say some subtle instrumentation differences at 1:53 would have been a positive as well. Another iteration of the theme at 2:33 but with touches of original writing over the top to have a different feel along with a brief rhythmic change at 2:51 (which you get used to, but felt out of place with the mood the first time).
For the last iteration at 3:13, some other minor differences in the arranged melody or effects in the last 20 seconds would have been good as well to not feel copy-pasta with such a slow tempo, but it's fine in the big picture and you still have ornamentation in play.
On the whole though, this gets more right than wrong. When you have a slow tempo, things feeling too repetitive/underdeveloped just stand out more, so those criticisms are there, but ultimately don't overshadow the positive aspects of arrangement and interpretation. The slower tempo, melodic changes, spacier tone and new instrumentation are solid enough; fans of Mass Effect and FTL will hopefully enjoy. Let's go, Mel!
YES
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Resubmitting for Mario Month!Contact Information
- Your ReMixer name: meldecision
- Your real name: Mel Choyce-Dwan
- Your email address:
- Your website: https://meldecision.bandcamp.com/
- Your userid: 37511
- Name of game(s) arranged: Super Mario 64
- Name of arrangement: The Slow Pull of the Space Docks
- Name of individual song(s) arranged: Dire Dire Docks
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Your own comments about the mix:
I created this piece as part of a challenge to "write an arrangement of any video game song, but make it space-related." I immediately knew that I wanted to do a take on Dire Dire Docks. There's a thin line between deep sea and space, and I wanted to see if I could achieve it. I relied on layering lots of soft pianos and synths, and drenched the whole piece in reverb. I wanted to give the feeling of drifting through space, staring out through the window of a spaceship into the black. Kind of peaceful and a little mysterious, with a touch of awe.
Since I last submitted this mix, I switched up some of the instrumentation, added in some sound candy to the background, added the original's B section, made some minor melodic and harmonic adjustments, toned down the reverb, and cut at least a minute of repetitive content out.
Note: This is resubmission of a piece I previously submitted on 2/19/22: https://ocremix.org/community/topic/51513-no-super-mario-64-the-slow-pull-of-the-space-docks/ -
On 3/2/2023 at 1:54 PM, jmr said:
I swear I'll submit something more conventional soon.
You say that like you sent in an incomprehensibly bad thing. Did you?
YES ?
*NO* My Singing Monsters Playground "Chorus of the Sea"
in Judges Decisions
Posted · Edited by Liontamer
closed decision