I'm sorry, but I have to make a criticism of the winning entry. I used to write poetry like that. The criticism is not in the actual construction of the poem, but basically what the entire thing is about and the mood of the speaker. It bothered me when I read it, but now that it won, I'd better say my piece.
It is patronizing. Really, really, patronizing. And I can almost imagine how it came about because I've been there. I don't doubt that I may be wrong, but to me it sound like the speaker in question has a crush on some girl, probably of the high-maintenance, unattainable, zero-personality why-did-I-waste-my-time-on-this-person-in-high-school-in-retrospect kind. Being that kind of girl, she's just been screwed over by the typical idiot who courts her and cried about it. Here comes the dashing poet with a bunch of flowery, well-intentioned language, wasted upon some person whose reaction to this would be to get a restraining order and then create jokes at the speaker's expense with her clique. Even if she is a thoughtful person, the speaker is still effectively coming on like a total balls-out horndog, even if veiled through verse describing romantic love and offering the resolution of all her romantic ills through a person she's never even met.
And here's what really bothers me:
So Lady, let my love for you give rise,
To the dawning of our sublunary Sun!
For you; My suitors pledge that come what come,
On my honor, my life; Thy will be done!
No. You don't say that. Not to a crush or someone you don't even know as close friends. That ending flourish and suggestion of love based on the sole virtues that both speaker and object of desire both want love effortlessly crowns the entire poem as arrogant. Love is ten thousand times deeper than this, based on the most deepest, shared personal experience, intimacy, and affection. This poem is a creature of a misguided crush, but it also smacks of obsession. It is useless to idolize crushes, because it is idolizing a physical facade. True love comes from the unification of two minds; to already write this about one whose mind and manners are a mystery is a counterproductive endeavor. Destroy the illusion and talk to her. The greatest feeling of mutual, perfect love is a deep note that resonates more loudly than ten-thousand pseudoromantic gestures.
Note if any of the above sound sexist based on the criticism of the shallow girl archetype, one needs no reminder that shallowness is shared equally by both sexes.