Daybreaker

Okay, I think this is the final composition. I'm still worried about 2 and a half minutes being too short, but I suppose the other two piano pieces I've heard, "Chopinesque Kirby" is 2:27 and "Grand Valse Mario" is 2:35... The only new things are that I found the charger for my video camera and I added a bit of the Song of Storms and the Serenade of Water to the end. Anything I should change or should I move on to production?

I like it, but I agree with Spakku that you should incorporate another song. Maybe this one? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac2ODHEDH4U I'm sure it's been in games that predate ww, but I can't find it.

(Disclaimer: I don't speak Arabic.) I think a better translation would be السلام على قابك, or as-salaamu calaa qalbak, but this might sound very odd to any native Arabic speaker as I'm deriving it from the traditional greeting, السلام عايكم, as-salaamu calaiikum. Having commented on the title, I figured I'd better listen to the remix itself... I'm not at all familiar with the source. I can hear some Arabic influences in the percussion at the beginning, but to my ear, it fades out of focus with the entrance of the flute and piano. This sounds very much like a song right out of a video game. The continual up-beat sound and bounciness gets on my nerves after about 30 seconds, I must say.

I like a lot of it, very ambient and relaxing. There's a part near the beginning when there's almost nothing but the drums, that lasts just a tad too long. Towards the end, I wish I could pick a melody out of the vocals or something there, but I can't. I think you should put in some chimes very briefly at one point or another. I just think it would sound nice with the sound you have.

Amateur's opinion: I like the composition, and you've done some creative stuff with the melody, but since you've kept the same chord progression (as far as I can tell) it doesn't sound quite as original as it could. I'm not familiar with the final temple song, so while listening it didn't sound off at all to me. But if it sounds off to people who do know the song, you might have a problem.

My amateur opinion is that it sounds like a lot of the same all the way through, and that same sound gets hard to stay interested in during a five minute song. Otherwise, I like it.

I'm not at all familiar with the source, but I really like it! What you have sounds really nice. I think instead of ending it where you do (2:49! Whatever you do, add some more awesomeness!), you should insert a section of something that sounds a little different in the realm of 2:10-2:20, but keep the beat, and then return back to the main theme. That's my take on it, anyway, you should probably wait and see what other people have to say.

Okay, so I had a bunch of stuff come up (lost video camera charger cord, death in the family) and I haven't updated like I meant to. In my effort to be a little more creative with the source (and my tinkering for a month), this has morphed into something almost completely different than what I had before. Hopefully it's all for the better: http://www.tindeck.com/listen/qnqi (the tindeck player is not working for me, you can download and listen just fine if you have issues as well. Also, on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oSaRiPGEHy8) It is shorter than I'd like. I think I should put something more at the ending (before the high bit) but I'm at a loss as to what. I tried to remove most of the noise, but I'm afraid there's still an irritating buzz in there. Just to reiterate, once I nail the composition down I'm going to enlist the help of my dad who knows audio stuff and has the equipment to produce it, so sound quality is not my concern yet. Many thanks in advance for any advice or feedback!

At :55 when the Kokori forest starts in I think you need people singing along with it. I don't like the chants around 1:36, they sound almost evil while the tune is happy and cheerful. I love this otherwise. Your adaptation of the songs was pretty creative. Somewhere around 2:20 to 3:00 I wish you would have changed up the chords more. I love the sound.

Notes as I'm listening: I don't like the intro. It seems too simple. This all sounds way too mechanical. The rhythm gets repetitive. I like the change in pace about halfway through, but all you've done is slow down the melody with some cool effects. The fast solos sound completely out-of-place. I think you need to do something creative with the melody and change up the chords. The original is pretty, but listening to it repeat 38 times gets boring. I don't want to discourage you, but yeah, change it up.

I REALLY love the sounds you have here. I like the muddledness of the piano. However, I wish there was a melody or a theme that stands out to tie it together...I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It would work great as a movie soundtrack, but not quite as a piece.

Wow, thanks for the feedback everyone! Exactly what I needed. I will sit down at the piano for a few hours today and tomorrow hopefully and see what I can come up with. I don't understand what you're getting at when you say "leave the track empty"... In the video I make mistakes and have to pause, is that what you're referring to? Yeah, this recording was just to get the arrangement I have so far on the internet. My dad works a lot with music/sound, so once I nail the arrangement down I plan to enlist his help and equipment.

I guess I'm still getting this continual feeling that 'okay now it's going to really get going.' I first get it when you introduce the tambourine and that's great. But then you have that cymbal hit (or something, I know nada about drums) and suddenly the entire first part of the song looks like it's building up to a climax, but there really doesn't seem to be a huge climax, just a bunch of little ones. I don't really know how you would solve that--I'm having a hard time just trying to articulate it. The differences I did notice were all big improvements, though, especially the addition of those fast beats in the background. Still think a few tempo changes would help, especially slowing down at the very end--otherwise it sounds a bit cut off.

I like a lot of the stuff you did with the melody. After the tambourine comes in and you repeat the original melody again, I feel like you could change up that underlying beat just a tad, too. Also, I think you could speed up and slow down the tempo in some areas. After the beat goes silent and you start it up again, I think it repeats two times too long before the guitar comes in again. Cut out some repeats in general. About halfway through, stuff starts to get really interesting. I think it'd be better if this happened earlier in the mix. The last third of the song (especially with the piano) feels unnecessary.

Thank you for the kind reply! First, I'm concerned that the section from 2:27 to 3:00 doesn't fit in well. It has a 6 vs. 4 rhythm thing; I don't mess with the rhythm anywhere else. Second, from 0:37 to 0:55 the only difference between what I'm playing and the source material is that top repeating note. Is that okay in a remix? Third, I don't stray from the original structure and chord progression. This doesn't bug me, but for the remix, should I change that up too?

UPDATE: Latest version: Original post: Hi, lurker noob here. I'm trying to write a remix of the Song of Healing for the piano. I'm still in the arrangement stage, so no production etc. concerns yet. I've gotten it down to something I think I could write down and really practice to perform and record, but I'm looking for other opinions before I do so. I have my own concerns about it but I guess I'll just see what you more experienced people here have to say... Youtube link. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kW1z7FcyIE