The Damned

Or it's been impounded by customs and didn't tell either one of us. Maybe it was stolen during shipping by one or more unscrupulous postal workers. Perhaps there never really was a gift, because the true gift was inside all of us all along. Which is bullshit, because the real gift is the anticipation of finding out what it is. And because of (insert cause of delayed delivery here, to be determined at a later date), I AM HAVE BEEN DENIED THAT! Cave Johnson had it right! FUCKING LEMONS!!

Yeah, I'm starting to think something's happened with mine.

Well. That was easy. So, Friend Balls for everyone (one per person)!

Global Mission update: we hit over a million today. Currently at just under 1.1 million GTS trades, and with 10 days left, it's been a smashing success. I don't know if Nintendo looked at the last two and adjusted the goal, or this was always the target. But either way...

X-Box Live Gold and PSN are $5 a month ($60 a year, if you go for a full year at once instead of monthly). That means that Switch network would be about $2 to $3 a month if you do a year long subscription. I would have to see what $2 or $3 a month gets me, of course.

It only works if you're using it for Bleck, though. Using it for me wouldn't work. I've spent three years of research and testing to verify this. Trust me. I'm practically a scientist.

So two things: First, the Global Mission is at 668 000, and we're only two days in. I think we got this one. Also, I was able to get online finally, so I'm now in! Second, if you missed the North American Genesect event from last year, you got a second chance. It's only good for XY and ORAS, not Sun and Moon, but you can still transfer it over if you use Pokémon Bank. Just go to Mystery Gift and enter the code. If you're in Europe, it's GENESECT2016 Just remember: if you used the GameStop/EB Games card from the 20th Anniversary event, this won't work. It's the same download, so the game will see it as already used.

THIS MEANS "NOT REALLY, HAA HAA, I'M POKING FUN AT BLECK."

Oh yeah,I heard about the rental tea thing. For those that don't know about this, you can scan QR codes and it will generate a team used by other players for use on the Battle Tree. I've never used it, though, so I don't know the exact requirements for it. Also, the only codes I can find seen to be only on PGL.com, and requires an account.

I never played Super Mario RPG (ooh, I can hear the replies being typed right now). I never had a SNES as a kid, and the few people that I knew that owned one didn't have this game. I only know a little of the music from OCR and a few videos on YouTube, videos titled "Top Ten Best SNES Music!" or "Top Ten Mario Game Soundtracks!"... that sort of thing. So I don't have any emotional attachment to the game. It's just another game I never had the opportunity to play, like any of the thousands of other ones I've never touched. But that cover art. That wonderful, beautiful cover art. If there was ever an image to represent all those fond memories of playing a favorite game after dark, at night, in front of the television or underneath the blankets in bed, this would be it. There is a glowing window, a portal to a tiny world. There is no living room floor, no bedroom, no house. Just you, and that little universe. All else fades into the background. Your artists picked one hell of an image to convey the mystery and magic of a video game. I haven't even listened to the music yet, but I already like this album.

The servers are so busy I can't even register for the event. Every time I try, it gives me an error message and says I should try again.

Just wait six months. Any hardware and firmware issues should be identified and fixed from the launch and post-launch shipments More games will be out The online service will (hopefully) be streamlined and refined They'll have more content and apps for the system More units will be available, making shortages less likely Might be a price drop Waiting is the hardest part, but patience is rewarded with better.. uh... rewards.

New Global Mission is live. From January 31st to February 14th The rewards are 2000 Festival Coins (4000 if you have your game connected to a Global Link account) if successful, or 200 FC (400 with GL) if not If the mission reaches 2 000 000 trades, everyone that participated receives a Friend Ball Yeah, that Friend Ball is a reaaaaaal incentive. If they made it a Master Ball instead, I think we would see at least 1.5 million trades.

Oh shit, they are at the Battle Tree store. I thought they were all missing. But I don't see Banettite anywhere... and my Banette kinda of needs one. Looking at the list of Mega Stones on Bulbapedia, it looks like 27 of the 47 are not available yet, so that's going to need a lot of events just to get them all back. IF they only plan to do two or three at a time, and it's a couple of months between events, that's a couple of years just to get them all. Fuck that.

So, some of you may have noticed that those Mega Stones from Gen 6 aren't found anywhere in Alola. The truth is, they are... once Nintendo gives them to you. So if you want that Mega Whatever back on your team, you better enter the Online Competition. You don't have to participate, or even really try, you get get the item. Or maybe they could have put them in the post-game, like at the Battle Tree exchange, or Mystery Gift them. I don't know. Something that doesn't require setting up yet another account part for something you don't really need in the first place.

Now, that there is exactly why Nintendo thinks what they're doing is fine, and will work out great for them.

I get the feeling that Nintendo honestly thinks they know what they're doing with the whole Switch network thing. They don't, but they think they do. The whole "one free NES or SNES game a month, but then it's gone unless you buy it" thing is an outdated system. And you know those games aren't going to be the top tier game, too. Everyone is going to expect it to be games like Super Mario World or something, but in all likelihood, it's going to be stuff like Alleyway or Duck Hunt. You know they're going to put all the good games up for sale, because they can make more money that way. Or, at least, they think they can. Meanwhile, I'm looking at all the stuff you get on PS4 and XB1 for free, and thinking that's a far better deal.

I'm hoping that any of the stuff I got since DPPt isn't going to flag anything. Back then, you could get just about anything and unless it was obviously hacked, you would never know. Hell, I have a few pokémon from my old RSE and FRLG carts that failed to pass the Gen 5 to Gen 6 transfer, despite the fact that they were completely untouched and legitimately caught. To this day, they still can't leave BW.

Given the glitch fest that was RBY, it's not surprising that it wouldn't work. When you use the old glitches to get Mew (twice if you do it right), the game doesn't care. But PokéBank does. Bank has all kinds of validation checks in it. It's not perfect (you can transfer AZ's Floette from XY/ORAS, if you hacked one in), but given that they updated it to allow transferring from VC RBY, it's possible that it intentionally checking for Mews that were generated through the old glitches, or unintentionally freaking out over what would otherwise be a perfectly legit pokémon. Either way... But! There is a way to fix tat. You just need to do all of this. But that's some crazy shit. It's just easier to use any number of the various Mew giveaways that Nintendo has done over the last couple of years, including the one from 2016's 20th Anniversary event. Or beg for a Mew from someone that scored a small collection of them fro over the years. Or wait until the Wonder Trade becomes flooded with Mews once someone figures out how to get around it. EDIT: Oh, a fun little extra for those of you that transfer RBY over. Go talk to Morimoto while certain RBY pokémon are in your team, and you get some dialog from him about the history of those pokémon!

So, if you used the various glitches found in RBY to get a spare Mew or two, don't expect PokéBank to allow you to transfer it. Sometimes, it will work, but often, the app will reject it. But if you do link to Bank, you can get a Mew-Z Crystal. But only on the first game you link to. So if you have multiple copies, nope! Only one. Also, my plan to let all my Gen 6 pokémon sit in Bank until I could transfer them over, so I could get Battle Points, worked out. I'm just under 200, and I haven't even used the Battle Tree yet.

QR code for easy updating.

PokéBank has been.. .well, not updated. It's till stuck in Gen 6 mode. But from a Japanese Nintendo page, we now have details about the upcoming new features. And if you happened to have played the Virtual Console versions of Red, Blue and Yellow, you're in for a treat. You can transfer Pokemon from Red, Blue, Green, Yellow to Sun and Moon (we knew this waaaay back in early 2016) Pokemon from Red, Blue, Green, Yellow will have at least 3 random IVs (this is big, a lot of otherwise low-IV pokémon just got a lot better!) Pokemon from Red, Blue, Green, Yellow may have their Hidden Abilities (this is also big. Hidden Abilities can make or break a pokémon for competitive battling) Pokemon from Red, Blue, Green, Yellow will have a Gameboy Marking instead of nothing/Plus Marking (a cute little extra feature) PokeBank has an new function, National Dex, which can be sync with your Local Dex in your game, that means you have no need to transfer your Pokemon to your local game to register in your local Dex (this will save hours of transferring) In the National Dex in PokeBank, you can review the history of your games, including XY, ORAS and SunMoon. The reviewed info includes caught Pokemon, Eggs hatched, wild Pokemon encountered, etc. (kind of fun, not sure how useful this would be overall) Pokemiles can be changed into BP in Sun/Moon (but you an do this any way from the main menu when you start the game, so not a really big deal) So, you get lots of bonuses for playing the VC RBY games, two of which are really useful. And the National Dex syncing feature will make it so you don't have to constantly transfer everything over just to fill it up. They know there's a lot of missing pokémon in Sun/Moon, but have decided to just make it easier. I do hope that PokéBank will still let me transfer Gen 6 around, though. I might want to throw some stuff onto my ORAS copy.

Personal GameBoy story time! I had a GBA-SP (AGS-001, not the far superior 101 with the better screen) and it had a semi-permanent residence in my pants pocket. If I went somewhere and I suspected even a slight wait for any reason, the GBA-SP went with me. One day, I was leaving an office and took the fire stairs (I think the elevator was too slow or it was only a few floors? I don't recall). I pulled the SP out of my pocket, opened it and turned it on, and then dropped it. The stairs were fire-proof concrete, with big metal handrails that were mounted into the steps. Pretty sturdy stuff. And these stairs were the kind that had that little gap between each flight, so you could look down the middle and see all the way up to the top, and all the way down to the bottom. My GBA decided that stair-surfing was the way to go, and it not only fell and slid down the first flight of stairs, but then bounced off the wall at the bottom, slid towards the next flight of stairs, tumbled down those steps, and then came to a rest only a few inches away from the gap on the next floor. I rushed down, expecting to find it in at lest three pieces, screen ripped off or smashed or something. Nope. It was closed, had a little bit of scuffing on the bottom and one corner (I assume when it hit the wall) and was still on. The game was loaded and running. I had that GBA-SP until about 2010, when I gave it to my nephew. He still has it, it still works, and will likely end up being some sort of family heirloom at this rate. There is... but it requires time. Years and years of neglect. Poor storage. Leave the batteries in all the time, never removing or replacing them. Let them fester and leak, corroding the interior casing and circuit board. Keep it in the sun, let the case yellow and weaken. Keep it near a humid, hot radiator or vent. But you have merely weakened it. It endures. Bury it in the forest. Cover it in rocks and dirt, such that no light or air can reach it. Leave it there for a decade, and uncover it to realize that only now has the screen started to finally give way. But it endures. Fire will only anger it. Ice will only steel its resolve. Light and darkness will only slow it. But it endures. Only years of torture and abuse will harm it, and even then, it will only be weak, brittle. But it will still sit there... mocking your efforts. Time is not a weapon, it is merely a tool to slowly chip away at the rock that is the GameBoy. Unless you fuck up installing a bivert screen. Then it's ruined.

Yes. Haven't you? You buy the console, usually at launch, and then pick up only one game for it. As the console gets more games for it, you stick to that one launch title and use it strictly as a metric for the quality of games, even ones that come out years later. This provides you an unalterable opinion about the entire industry based upon said one game on said one system, giving you the right you to comment on everything video game discussion, including stuff you have never even so much as looked at, let alone played. That's how it works, bleck. You should know this by now.

Dead on, you do give kids devices, or dead on, you don't give kids devices?