Blake Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 http://blizihizake.googlepages.com/st1.mp3 haven't tweaked it fully, and you'll know which note is the wrong one. critiques welcome. i want to make this as good as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 12, 2008 Share Posted January 12, 2008 nice orchestral samples - you did do the door to the end of time so I have no doubt you'll nail this one. And that harp/flute combination is really sweet, can't wait to hear the final product Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 The first minute went by all too quietly. It's not bad, but it could use a little more volume. Two minutes, still no loud part. 2:15, there's one, if it counts. 2:29 too. Chop off the last 20 seconds or something. It needs to be louder, but other than raising the master slider, I've got no improvements to list. It's soft and pretty, and certainly listenable. I like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Hello. I updated it it. Lots of new stuff. Should I keep the fast section at the end of this WIP? Or should I cut straight to the end section? Any comments would be extremely appreciated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Still very quiet. Still not much to say about the arrangement, it's pretty. And QUIET! My meters seem to barely pass 50% volume. Add a limiter and raise the volume a bit, maybe 5dB. It's a bit minimalistic, but it's still beautiful. The different section at the end, coming in a little before 4:00 is really nice, but the instrumentation and/or rhythm should have made an appearance earlier. It feels like another song begins there, so either introduce it earlier (you've got a really minimalist intro where you could add some soft high-range piano) or scrap it. The ending notes feel both fakey and inappropriate. It's a soft song that should fade in and out of existance, not rise to a weak brass finale and then just end, especially not after the cool piano+strings section just before. There's comments for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Thanks a lot man. I think I'm going to chop off the beginning and make it more interesting, but what do you mean by rise to a weak brass finale and just end? That's not the end of the song, as it goes into a different section 4:25. I think I'm just confused. Could you mark the times where you're talking about? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted February 1, 2008 Share Posted February 1, 2008 Ah, it's not the ending. Tho that's gonna make it kind'a long. Btw, listening at it through my semi-decent laptop speakers, the brass sounds really metallic. If I were you, which I'm not, I'd lose the brass and end the remix somewhere around ther Regardless, the ending melodies, rhythm, and/or instrumentation should make some kind of appearance earlier so it feels like it belongs in the remix. It currently doesn't feel like that. The brass feels pretentious in an otherwise pretty remix, so you gotta work it in smoother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted February 1, 2008 Author Share Posted February 1, 2008 Ah, it's not the ending. Tho that's gonna make it kind'a long.Btw, listening at it through my semi-decent laptop speakers, the brass sounds really metallic. If I were you, which I'm not, I'd lose the brass and end the remix somewhere around ther Regardless, the ending melodies, rhythm, and/or instrumentation should make some kind of appearance earlier so it feels like it belongs in the remix. It currently doesn't feel like that. The brass feels pretentious in an otherwise pretty remix, so you gotta work it in smoother. Ahh, okay. Thanks a lot. I've been sort of working on this in a slug-through-the-mud manner so I didn't really have fresh perspective on the song as a whole until now. Also, the loud brass at the end is just a loud layover that you put over the original sample, which I didn't use lawl (silly me). I'll be sure to fix that. I think what I would do to give it some continuity is either drop the brass at the end, or start off with a brass intro, something not nearly as boring. I do plan on making this a sort of long mix but I'll see how things turn out. Anyway, thank you very much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sil Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 0:00 -the glockenspiel seems a bit weak, can you use celesta instead/in addition? if you want, I can send you a free celesta that SAM released as a promo (could easily be mapped beyond the limited range) 2:08 -nice bass 2:11 -the clarinet is a bit weak here, double it with flute, oboe, or violins 2:38 -for this build you want the timpani roll to be doubled by low strings and brass (trombones), and really double up those bass octaves (cellos and basses in octaves can never miss) 2:40 -continue to harmonize with trombone chords as long as the horns carry the melody 3:10 -the timpani roll here sounds a little weird, so maybe it's an octave too low or needs some trombones/basses to help it Also, if you want a better timpani, I can send you the free one SAM released like 6-7 years ago. 3:14 -this portion sounds like you need a model to follow in terms of stylistic arranging, especially since i can't detect what you're doing here 3:56 -again i'm not sure what you're going for here. you seem to be stuck harmonically trying to shed the previous section and the instrumentation just isn't working for what you're attempting to do If it were my piece I'd start again from 3:14 and this time, in order to keep the thematic continuity, restate the clarinet theme in a new key with a new feel, probably as a fully orchestral climax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted February 2, 2008 Author Share Posted February 2, 2008 awesome advice. Sweet, I'll apply all these things tonight. Thanx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Really looking forward towards the completed product Blakey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catullus Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 I liked the song, it was very pleasant and sounds like it would fit right in with a game like say TESIII Morrowind, however that said the ending is so bad its not even funny... You really need to fix that. I am hardly an expert but I cant see the judges passing it without asking you to resubmit the ending. Maybe thats just me IDK im not a judge nor am I a musician. I am just a musical consumer and I think the ending is really bad. But dont lose heart I do think you have a strong piece to work with, would have liked to hear more of the harp or lute or w/e that was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Instrumental Light Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Indeed, this is a very well written piece. There are a few parts where certain accompaniments don't flow along with the main theme of the song. Maybe it's just me, but I also think a violin accompaniment would have made this piece superb. The ending, I think, needs more interpretation and variety. Other than those few critiques, this is an incredible work; I would most definitely keep working on this one. Outstanding job:smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dhsu Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 <3 FF V <3 Blake How can you go wrong with this combo? Great source, great concept, looking forward to hearing it finished. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted February 2, 2008 Author Share Posted February 2, 2008 Guys, that's not even close to the ending. I plan on adding at least another 4 minutes to this. "wip" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blake Posted February 2, 2008 Author Share Posted February 2, 2008 Oh, no wonder. I uploaded the wrong version. Here is what I really have so far. http://blizihizake.googlepages.com/st1.mp3 Same link, diff version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Dude, this is gonna be looong. Beyond OCR-length, but you probably know that already. With decent headphones, this sounds better, but it's still kind'a quiet. You might still need to raise the volume a bit. Some timpani and cymbal rolls sound a bit silly, symbals get too loud too soon, and the timpani sometimes seems to start going more quiet when it should punch in it's final stroke. 3:32 pizzicato sounds like it was recording in a can. Find better samples for that. 4:00 section is wonderful. Brass coming it towards 4:20 is still metallic, but better. Really stupid sounding dry drum around there tho, see what you can do about it. You know, after that section, I finally start recognizing this from the game (4:30). Nostaligia sets in, and it's beautiful. This gonna be way too long for ocr, but after recognizing it, I feel this is a winner remix regardless. It's long, but it's pretty throughout, doesn't get too repetitive, and with the exception of occasional drums and too metallic brass, it's all good. Can I invite you to the sd3 project? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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