Ralphis Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Alright, so I'm finally starting to try and make mixes that might be passable beyond Overlooked Remix. Here's something I started working on a little over an hour ago. Hip-hop style but haven't gone past two verses and the hooks. http://ralphis.unidoom.org/stuff/music/mp3/misc/rapsylvania.mp3 Right now the layout is looking this way: Intro Hook - Bloody Tears Verse - Vampire Killer Hook Verse Hook Haven't started a bridge yet and haven't even begun EQing or anything of the sort. Just laying out the groundwork. Vocals and some soloing will probably be recorded if I go forward with it. So, comments/criticisms? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 In Soviet Russia, Link fix YOU. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inv1ctus Posted January 18, 2008 Share Posted January 18, 2008 link aint workin dude Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphis Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Site was down for a few hours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 19, 2008 Share Posted January 19, 2008 In Soviet Russia, Link fix YOU. ROFL in Soviet Russia God worships you!!...well not really but hey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphis Posted January 19, 2008 Author Share Posted January 19, 2008 Well, this was my first rewire attempt and two days later I already think it sounds like trash. I'll wait until I fully flesh a song out further before I post another WIP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 its still down, dood :S Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chickenwarlord Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 He did say he was scrapping it and starting over. No reason to leave the link up in that case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Legendary Zoltan Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 I have comments for you my friend. I hope you find them useful. 1. You GOTTA ditch your current structure. Intro,A,B,A,B,A,Bridge? this is just way too repetitive. I know that I'm one of the ugliest judges when it comes to repetition but at the very least you don't need that final A. And these are basically copied and pasted, meaning they're all exactly the same. You ought to add to or take away from the texture, mess with the tempo, key change, something to make it not be the same thing as the last time. Especially since each verse and hook both consist of one thing being repeated four times. It's just way too much. 2. I don't feel like there's enough melodic action going on here. There's that bassy synthy thingy that's being melodic during the verse part but like I said before, it's too repetitive and it's down low with all the rest of the piece so it doesn't really feel like that's the melody of the song. You ought to think about putting a different and melodic sounding part up high. Were you planning to add vocals to this? If that's the case, then the melodic aspect might not be a problem. Even the hook part could use something new in my opinion. 3. I'm not very learned in the ways of production but I feel like could use a louder and more clear sounding bass drum. That's all I have to say about the production. It sounds ok to me but someone who knows more about it might have otherwise to say about it. So to sum it all up into a single sentence: Vary it up more and add some melodic bits. Good luck man. I know all about the struggle of pole vaulting over the OCR bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inv1ctus Posted January 21, 2008 Share Posted January 21, 2008 first of all i want you to know i put a lot of thought into this, and even deliberated over this piece with my girlfriend who holds a bachelors in music education. Her and I have some technical pointers for you. I dont want you to get discouraged, because we have a lot of input regarding this piece. We hope this helps you achieve your goal with this piece. the intro to the piece does not transition into primary melody smoothly. All of the transitions and endings are abrupt. It needs to be smoother and match stylistically. Basically, the intro has a completely different feel from the main melody. The drums are obvious in the introduction, however, probably due to mastering techniques, they fade into the background and become almost nonexistant, which completely takes away from the percussive aspect of the piece. The drums need to come way up, especially the bass drum and snare. If you are not familiar with compression and side chaining techniques, i would suggest reading on the forums on how to do so. If it is a hip hop song, the drum and bass samples are going to be the most important instruments. Also, the solo line is in too high of a register, resulting in a massive treble output that is unbalanced in the frequency spectrum. Its too much of a contrast between that and the bass solo. Contrast is a very good thing to have in a piece, but it is so dramatic that it is detracting to listen to. Try using and experimenting with different types of instrumentation. Moreover, you might want to consider bringing the melody line down an octave. Also, i would suggest spicing up the lead synth solo with some type of phaser or flanger to make it more interesting. It will smooth the feel of the song. As im sure you already know, the piece needs some type of ending. But more than anything else, the piece needs variation in melody to give the listener more to be interested in. I know it is a lot of input, but if you work on these things, you will be much closer to having a song you can post here at ocr. We both wish you luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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