HoboKa Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Okay, this time, I made an effort to simplify my melodies and I hopefully made their phrases more coherent than my usual works. May come off as being repetitive though...unsure, cuz I'm suffering from ear fatigue at the time being lol. It's a remix of EWJ - Use your head; the bassline/lead is essentially the same in this track, however, I had pushed that lead back and made it more a background thing. http://www.mediafire.com/?znlwl1zmymj UPDATE 1: http://www.mediafire.com/?oznvyftnjln UPDATE 2: http://www.fileupyours.com/view/218181/EWJ_Use_your_Tangerines_A3.mp3 UPDATE 3/4/5: http://www.fileupyours.com/view/218181/EWJ_Use_your_Tangerines_A5.mp3 ...don't ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tensei Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Some dissonance going on in the bassline in the intro compared to the pads. Decent groove going on, though I expect most of it has been nabbed straight out of the midi. Production is kind of lo-fi, the brass samples probably irk me the most despite being slathered in huge reverb. Mixwise there's quite a disparity between different elements due to varying degrees of reverb and delay on each instrument. My biggest issue is with the instrumentation, there's some downright nonsensical stuff going on. Why does the bass patch suddenly change one minute in? Why does the plucked string (I assume it's supposed to be an acoustic guitar) ostinato suddenly change to a piano? Plan this stuff out more carefully. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted May 4, 2009 Share Posted May 4, 2009 Source has been removed from the link you provided, btw. The transition from guitar to piano could be made more interesting, but I don't have as much of a problem with it as Princess Tensei seems to. I can hear some idea of direction in this, it doesn't feel as arbitrary as a lot of your other works. Gotta agree about the disparity in reverb levels. I can sort'a sense an idea behind that, but it's not clear enough for those uninitiated to HoboKa music. There's a lot of production stuff you could do to improve this, starting with EQ, and including reverb/delay levels balancing, bass sample fix, subtle panning, other samples for a few parts... EQ is the most important issue here imo. Fix it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 Source has been removed from the link you provided, btw.The transition from guitar to piano could be made more interesting, but I don't have as much of a problem with it as Princess Tensei seems to. I can hear some idea of direction in this, it doesn't feel as arbitrary as a lot of your other works. Gotta agree about the disparity in reverb levels. I can sort'a sense an idea behind that, but it's not clear enough for those uninitiated to HoboKa music. There's a lot of production stuff you could do to improve this, starting with EQ, and including reverb/delay levels balancing, bass sample fix, subtle panning, other samples for a few parts... EQ is the most important issue here imo. Fix it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i85PRLPhiag Here ye go bro. I've read the critiques from both of you and I'm working on the update now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 Update on first post. added drums, edited some EQ changed bass patch some random small tweaks here and there. Sorry about the awful piano reverb effect. It'll be fixed along with all the other edits for Ver.3...just waiting to hear the next batch of critiques. And thanks for taking the time for criting me Tensei and Rozo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 5, 2009 Author Share Posted May 5, 2009 Well, couldn't wait for the next batch of crits, so I updated it anyway. http://www.fileupyours.com/view/218181/EWJ_Use_your_Tangerines_A3.mp3 Feedback from anyone, savvy in music or not is welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hewhoisiam Posted May 5, 2009 Share Posted May 5, 2009 I remember this! I enjoyed the first attempt. Which I took out of my 'creepy collector' folder to listen to when I saw this topic. Whip that head boi! The repetition in the piano part at 1:07-1:42 gets a old. One part is moving, one is static. Consider moving the static part to another instrument as well as changing it a bit. First thing that comes to my mind is moving it octaves up or down in places (as far as adding a harmony part. So that the sound fills out every 3rd and/or 4th repetition. I want a more powerful, harder hitting bass. This is just my preference, but this is really really a bass song to me, and the bass gets lost in there. I think more panning could add a lot to the beginning of this. The sustained synth you use doesn't mesh well with the other sounds to me. At the beginning I was 50/50, but hearing it at the slow break, I don't like it. I might like it layered with a stronger sound, or some oscillation (wahwah? hope I got that right:oops:) The at the slow down, the drum part seems to me like it could really benefit from some ghost type notes on the hats, and a stick across snare (click) rather than hit, again just my preference that it feels like it's dragging. I am normally not a big tambourine fan, but it really works well in this, kudos there. Hope this helps -H Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 rawr...so,...many varied opinions on this track. I've spammed a ton of other ppl with this track on IM's and so forth, and most say it's a real improvement for me, but then there's production issues and so forth as well T-T It'd help if I had better stuff than fucking soundfonts...of course, little hard to do when I'm broke. As for the sustained synth, that's actually a different sample than the original one you hear at the start =p It's a distorted Pan flute and a vox layered together. Everyone else didn't complain about it, so I'm not too worried about it. I agree wtih the bass thing, gotta re-master that part and probably change the samples again. I'll see what I can do with the other critiques as well. And Hewo, I want this to be repetitive - that's the whole idea for this piece. Because I find that when I try to change things up too much, it gets outta hand. At least, until I can get down the basics of melodic phrases down pat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 I'd definitely say it's an improvement from the last iteration, that's for sure. I like the composition of this - it's different and interesting (and, oh how so un-Hoboka of you - the source is very solid in this mix!). The end just seems to... end and it doesn't settle well for my ears. The samples are quite terrible, though - I understand how that is (I only use out of the box samples for Reason myself, atm). You need reverb for the samples. This mix is incredibly dry, and reverb would be a godsend for this, here. I agree with Hewhoisiam on the bass - it needs to be stronger. We needs the bass to be prominent in this mix. It just isn't the same with it in the background. Mucho gusto improvement on the last one you did - it's quite fun to listen to, as it is. Still room for improvement, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Nope. Can't make the bass the focus of this mix, cuz then it'd push back the other channels too much. I CAN change up the bass samples and make them a little more prominent, but the bass won't be the focus. That's not my intent for this remix; it's a liberal one, you see...trying to stray from that conservatism stuff without going all nonsensical (too much so, anyways) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 And my reverb is 75% wet there Gario...not much else I can do, unless you guys want a mud-fest =l Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gario Posted May 6, 2009 Share Posted May 6, 2009 Which instruments? The brass sounds nice and wet, but a lot of the others are very dry (like the bass). They could use some more, in general, imo. It could be the type of reverb your using, too, so perhaps a different setting or reverb plugin is what's needed, here. As for the bass, you don't need them to be prominent if you don't want them to be, but they could be brought out a bit more than they are (that should make us bass-loving heathens happy). I know what you mean - just a touch would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Alright, guess I'll be doing that too. Oy, the things I do for OCR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 6, 2009 Author Share Posted May 6, 2009 Update. http://www.fileupyours.com/view/218181/EWJ_Use_your_Tangerines_A5.mp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted May 7, 2009 Share Posted May 7, 2009 Apparently, my feedback post was eaten by the Workshop move. Oh well, I basically said you got a nice groove here, might use a congas rhythm or something in the intro, give you snare some more highs, get rid of the (last part of the remix) kick just before the snare since it screws with the groove (or you can change the groove to fit). Also, the guitar/piano ostinato could still use some work. Using both at the same time might not be wise, why not use piano all the way, just move it up an octave when it comes to the part where the piano now comes in. (ie move the stuff before then down an octave, it's already pretty high) Trumpet either needs to be more foreground or more background in the first section it's in, and it should be foreground in that last section, the stuff after the calm section. Not gonna dig up the file to check the times but you get which parts I mean, right? The last section is also a bit cluttery and the melodies feel a bit arbitrary, cleaning up either of those problems should tell if the other one needs fixing also, and the trumpets could use some work anyway so start with that. This makes sense, for most part. You're getting there, man. One day you'll be posted. Keep at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted May 7, 2009 Author Share Posted May 7, 2009 that was my main goal...trying to rid myself of the "nonsensical-ness"...ug I hate that word...makes me sound like some elitist douche bag...*glances towards OCR* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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