ZeroXtreem Posted November 5, 2009 Share Posted November 5, 2009 http://soundcloud.com/zeroxtreem/a-motorcycle-with-swords-4-0 VERSION 4.0 Decided to try and add the remaining parts to the song, i was already told i need to extend them that they're too short but i just want to get a feel for what people think about them and if they work as per the song itself. http://soundcloud.com/zeroxtreem/a-motorcycle-with-swords-3-0 VERSION 3.0 Dropped an octave on the riff and made a cut out part when it comes in for the first time http://soundcloud.com/zeroxtreem/a-motorcycle-with-swords-v-2 Version 2 This is my finished track waiting to see what you guys think of it. It is my first actual finished track i wana know what u people think. Lend me a hand! http://soundcloud.com/zeroxtreem/a-motorcycle-with-swords OK i didn't do much yet and some sections need to be expanded on but i would like to get some constructive criticism for what ive got as of now. This is my first ever Remix and im new to using FruityLoops 8 so anything you possibly have to say could most likely benefit me. Thanks in advance -Zero Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trublvrs Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 You sir, have done what I have yet to do. The track sounds great to me, with a good level between the instruments. Also, you have added a good amount of variation to the original song. Definitely going on my mp3 player when I download it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbrown1986 Posted November 6, 2009 Share Posted November 6, 2009 Whenever I listen to others music, I like to try to imagine how I feel in this persons shoes, I try to think what the artist is thinking when they wrote it. This has everything going for it, it is a very nice piece, BUT... (there's ALWAYS a BUT), I feel that with what it has, it could do with a little more, the dark texture of the song is nice, the resonating synths and appregio are beautiful but perhaps lighting up the piece with something that stands out would feel nice too. It does vary from the source, but there is very little of the source that is identifiable (I'm guessing that the source is "Crazy Motorcycle", but that's how difficult it is to identify). There is so much more you can do with this piece, but I am not the one to tell you what to do, it's yours, so keep creativity in mind and strive. EDIT: Upgrade to FL9, and if you need some plugin/effect VST's, then send me a PM. Check out my latest piece for some inspiration, I based my latest entirely on FL Studio, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeroXtreem Posted November 12, 2009 Author Share Posted November 12, 2009 Hmm i seem to be stuck with what to do with it. I like how it turned out but u said theres no lead. Any one else have any suggestions on what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XZero Posted November 12, 2009 Share Posted November 12, 2009 I'll be honest with you. It sounds very empty, especially without the lead. The whole time, I was waiting for a kickass guitar to come in and play 1:07-1:27 in the source (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SaDOoEspNI), and it didn't. Personally, I think that would make the piece a lot better. The setup is great, and as background (and occasionally foreground), the track works, but it really is missing that key component. Good luck with revisions! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeroXtreem Posted November 13, 2009 Author Share Posted November 13, 2009 I kinda figured out what i want to do for the lead with the guitar but the only problem is trying to find out where to put it in. I'm thinking about a like 1:47 ish when the trills stop and jump into the lead guitar and eventually have it incorporate that 2nd beat into it like you were talking about. Ill try working on it tonight and have somethin posted tonight. Any more suggestions will be great. Also 2 more things i wana work. 1st im thinking the re-entry at the end of the song is kinda sudden i think its like at 2:46 ish where all the beats come back in at once, and the snare roll doesnt seem out of place but missing something when the first section cuts out. Anyone wana Confirm/Deny that remember i love the suggestions thanks guys so far giving me great ideas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeroXtreem Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 So i put out a new version let me know what you think of the new parts Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted February 12, 2010 Share Posted February 12, 2010 It sounds really cool, it conveys the racing aspect if only because it sounds like it came outta F-Zero GX, but I'm not feeling the sword aspect at all. No fear, no aggression, which is kind of amazing considering it's such a mean arrangement. The instruments - well, sounds - provide all the negative emotion, distinct from the rest of the song. It's kind of like painting a landscape of Hell, the place is horrible, but the painting is rather peaceful in spite of it. Your song is in a scary, angry place but it manages to only really convey "going fast". This is all good stuff in my mind, actually, I guess I'm more critiquing your title choice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZeroXtreem Posted February 12, 2010 Author Share Posted February 12, 2010 the title was merely a place holder i had to put something in the beginning honestly i dont even know where to begin in terms of what to call it. Figured first off that ide get the song done then move on to naming the creation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spakku Posted February 13, 2010 Share Posted February 13, 2010 Looking back that was like the opposite of constructive... I hit something of an issue unintentionally, though. I said it sounded right out of F-Zero GX. I'm actually picturing Cosmo Terminal: Trident when I hear this. This sounds exactly like background music, the thing never steps forward. I know it's a hell of an obstacle when you're working with a BGM source, but this ain't finished 'til you overcome it. All of your instr-, er, samples are in the same harsh-sounding range, nothing stands out. You need that guitar you mentioned earlier, I think, something to grab the attention. Also, that hit at 3:30 sounds ridiculous. It's not the right kind of attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tostigroover Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 I like your take on this. The track could use some diversity. + Spakku mentioned it as well -- I like the roughness of the sounds. It does indeed sound very undesirable, dirty even. I like that tone for the track so if you're going for that, keep it that way. + I think the instruments sound very clear, despite there being lots of low frequencies. - This is my biggest gripe: the tracks seems to dabble a bit. For example, at 1m22s you have a build-up. It creates the opening to something new, there is possibility there. But you return to the same things we heard already. I would really like to hear something different in the track. A different sound/instrument would really help -- switch the atmosphere a bit. The break at 2m20s is helpful but I'd rather have something even more different first. So in short, I like your take on the track but, to my ears, it's now four minutes of the same. There's too little diversity for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMT Posted February 21, 2010 Share Posted February 21, 2010 I think my big gripe with this track is that the drums never got any bigger. The sounds you have now are perfect for an intro / buildup / etc, but after that first tremelo synth / guitar thing, I expected a huge Pendulum style drum beat to come in. Look for some rough drum samples, through a snare through a guitar amp or something and give it some huge beats. It's already pretty solid, but without a change there it doesn't have any sort of dynamics to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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