Lurking for years, finally trying my hand at Dennis (the Menace) for Amiga

[DarkSim]

Hey OCR! Like the title says, I've been coming here for years and now I've got a decent bit of software (Garageband just wasn't cutting it any more...) I thought I'd try a remix of my own.

After listening to Malevolent Mansion for months I've sort of had it seeping into my consciousness, and while this doesn't compare, I thought the source was ripe for a fast-paced drum & bass-style arrangement (although admittedly it's not my favourite genre).

The game is "Dennis" for the Amiga - an old one, but the old ones are the best, right? Never got past level 2 but the music on level 1 was great - check it out here:

UPDATE:

After taking a break from this track for a few weeks I've come back to it and given it a complete trimming down, making it almost a minute shorter, less repetitive, and improving the dynamics, as suggested. It also has a title (exciting, I know), based on the name of the bundle my Amiga 1200 was in.

Thanks for all the feedback!

Edit: changed status to Finished to try and get some final comments before subbing/Mod Review.

Finished version below:

[The Vagrance]

Ok, I'm listening on Macbook speakers so I'll try to avoid anything too mix specific.

The Intro/build-up is good, really digging it, but the drop is SO disappointing. For one, the drums need to be fatter and more "urgent", I'm talking 16th-note fills, noisey-compressed ass snares, extremely tight plastic-sounding kicks, etc.. Sub Focus and Nero can provide good examples of this.

In addition, maybe its all subs but where's the bass? I'm surprised there's not some giant cheesy reese in this track, at the moment no synth really stands out.

The whole thing feels dynamically unimpressive, the arrangement isn't bad but there is no ebb and flow to the track and nothing is outstanding enough from a sound design purpose to justify the repetitiveness.

Scattered points aside, this track just doesn't have any power to it; you build up to something wonderful and then nothing punches through. Drum and Bass is one of, if not THE most technical genre out there and most tracks rely on one powerful hook or idea to sustain the track. Your remix has one, but its not powerful enough or badass enough to make me want to listen to it again.

EDIT: And I'm not trying to be harsh, I'm just pointing out the main things that I find wrong with it. I do think this easily has the potential to be a great track with some more elbow grease put into it.

[phantasia]

I like this. I think the dynamics aren't as bad as Vagrance made it seem.

For example I liked the part around 2/3 into the song where you build up and then just let the synth play for a second before bringing in the whole arsenal. Nice!

There are a few things that bugged me though.

Firstly, tone done the distortions you have on your instruments a bit imo, it's a little too much and it makes it muddy.

Overall it's a bit crowded in the lower frequencies. The bass is perhaps a bit loud at some places, although it is drum and bass.

The synths should get more room though, and be made more prominent.

[Rozovian]

Clipping and lots of it.

It clearly has bass, so Vagrance's inability to hear is because of his speakers. Track develops slowly. I don't mind the progression, it works imo. Not the most intresting, but passable. The writing is a bit cluttered sometimes tho, needs a little cleaning up, either in the notes or the mix.

It has some weird harmonies... I'd call them dissonant and complain about key but I can't get a clear idea of which tracks are clashing. Sometimes it's the bass, sometimes the lead, sometimes the organ, sometimes something else. Needs fixing regardless.

The mixing needs work. Aside from the clipping, the mixing is pretty messy. EQ and volume should be enough to clean it up, but you might want to read up on how to best do so. Google is your friend.

Source is there, not for for how much or how interpreted it was, but it felt like it was on the conservative side of things - but still ok imo. However - I gave just one listen to source, one to wip, so don't take my word for it.

[DarkSim]

Thanks for the feedback guys - I'm still new to this mixing lark so forgive my mistakes in the last one!

I've tried to take your comments on board and basically overhauled most of the track so there's a lot of new stuff in this version. Hope you enjoy.

[Rozovian]

You could change up the bass writing a lot if you have a penchant for jazzy groovy bass writing. If you don't, some basic rhythmic variations on it would be an improvement. Just don't change all of it to that, use it as a way of building the track. Maybe start with a basic rhythm and let it grow into something advanced. Or start with short notes, save the long ones for the "big" parts. idunno, it's up to you.

Soundwise, it's improved. Not gonna look up the old version, but from what I remember it's an improvement. Can't say exactly in what areas, but it feels a lot better.

Could still use some variation in the sound, bringing in some new instruments, switching parts around, or just moving the melody up an octave or something sometimes would give it a little more variation. I'm personally not fond of voice clips so whatever those things were I'm gonna complain about them. I don't like them. there.

Could also use a more clear dynamic emphasis on the important parts and de-emphasized softer parts. Your outro part felt like it was just stuck on the same level as before, not closing the track. The rest of the track could probably use some cues as to where the track is, dynamically and in its progression, but that part stood out to me.

I know I do meandering tracks so hearing others' meander doesn't usually bother me, but this one is either too long or too meandering. Felt like it went on for too long before the half-tempo breakdown part, and the part that follows should be bigger, the grand finale, the climax of the track, and it jsut feels like yet another iteration of the main part.

That's some thoughts that come to mind when listening. Understand everything, fix what you agree with.

[DarkSim]

Thanks for the comments Rozovian, I posted this cos I sort of hit a wall and needed someone else to listen to it - listening again I have to agree with you about the ending. I did just copy the section from earlier, so I might just cut out the first time I use it and go into the half-tempo section a lot sooner.

That voice clip is also from the game, although it's kinda annoying so I might just lose it.

I'll try and jazz up that bass as well - apart from some mixing and compression changes I didn't do anything to the bassline so there's room for improvement there.

[phantasia]

Allright. Here's what I think.

Your mixing sounds pretty good now. Though I think the crash that was heard in the beginning sounded a bit too fakey.

You added a great break a bit after the middle of the song (didn't download so don't know what time) section with some melody changeups and interesting sounds going on. I really liked the panning pecussive effects. After this section there is a raise and a change in melody. It sort of hits you in the face too much. I would enter that section normally, and then expand on the melody towards the end to give it more power. Also I think your song should end on an absolute climax without the outro that you have now. Work on building that climax which is like a repetition of the main part. It should be made more powerful. You could probably fit some more treble stuff in there. Perhaps you'd have to tone down the hi-hats though (which you might consider changign up a bit more, dunno).

Overall, significant improvement. Good work! Definately potential for OCR.

[DarkSim]

Right, I'm pretty happy with my arrangement and mix now, so this is pretty much the final version. Thanks for all your comments - I've learnt a hell of a lot already!

Rozovian - I've trimmed nearly a minute off it, so only the good stuff is left, and the dynamics are definitely improved as well. I changed up the bass as well, so it gets a little more freedom.

phantasia - I think you'll like the improvements, as I've basically done everything you suggested!

[DarkSim]

Hate to bump my own thread, but this is my finished mix and I'd really appreciate some comments before I change this to Mod Review. Thanks

[phantasia]

Definately big improvements, very nice energy throughout. I'd say the track is done except for one part where I see potential for improvement. When the melody raises up after the boom towards the end, I think you should double that part and add some crazy synth soloing before retiring back to that familiar beat afterwards . It feels a bit contained in this part. That's my only idea for improvement. I think it does work as it is now though

[halc]

pretty conservative with the melodies, but there is a lot of variation from section to section that keeps it pretty fresh. good builds. the production isn't bad, and there really isn't anything overtly wrong with the arrangement at all, but all the instruments (synth are percussion) are generic and boring, to put it bluntly. the varied and high-energy arrangement actually makes up for it quite a bit, though- the song overall is highly listenable imo.

anyway, i'm obviously on the fence about as to whether this is OCR quality. i don't have too much advice to give other than to try out some different synths/samples and coming up with more unique sounds. honestly, i'd give this one a shot with the judges as-is; even if it doesn't pass the panel, they'll be able to provide you with more valuable feedback to help improve your sound.

nice work, and best of luck with the mix!