Liontamer Posted January 11, 2005 Share Posted January 11, 2005 Held this FT for about a week hoping to find and talk to Brendan for feedback, since this submission wouldn't make it, but he's nowhere to be found. Nonetheless, he says he's eager for feedback and criticism, so I've decided to post it for feedback purposes. I could be wrong, but I think my mix was lost in the submissions emails. I sent it early in September. If it was seen would it have been posted by now? I havent gotten a reject email but I did get a confirmation email saying my submission went through. Anywho, if you have the time I would like for you to give this a listen and if you think it has a chance with the panel post it up. Ive already sent you an older version of this via IRC, so dont be surprised if it sounds familiar. In case you do decide to post it, Ive included the email in this PM. If not, please let me know how you think it should be revised. Im all ears for improvement if this doesnt make the cut.First off, heres all of my mixer id info: DJBren Brendan Bennett Knightz@optonline.net http://uhaweb.hartford.edu/bbennett/ 11220 Bio: Ive always loved several tracks from videogames, and listened to them mroe often than playing the game at times. I would often humm or whistle the tune, wishing I could hear an improved version of it. When I found OCReMix I was ecstatic. I had no idea so many other people loved video game music as much as I did and were remixing it. So I became interested in the field as well. When I first started working with some midi programs, I became instantly hooked, so I started some mixes of my own. Song Info: Game: Raptor: Call of the Shadows Track: Hangar Theme Title of song: A Pilot's Lament Here's the link for the song: You'll see it as the first song listed. And I couldnt find an original soundtrack midi, so I made an mp3 of it best I could from my memory. Its been ages since Ive played Raptor, but Im 99% sure this is exactly how it sounds (save for the samples of course): background: The theme is about what the pilot is probably thinking before flying a mission. "Why must there be a war?", "Will I come back alive?." Thoughts of fear and regret, doom and reluctance. As I was doing this mix, I also had a picture of the pilot leaning against the wall with one foot on the floor and one against the wall, smoking a cigar and pondering the events that took place. I hope you like it, as I've worked hard on it to make it as good as possible. I already commented in depth on an earlier version. Some problems were addressed while others were left behind or even created. I felt like the brass coming in at :05 was too muffled and distant, ultimately cluttering up the sound, along with the bassline being so thick with 'verb. The belltones were a good addition but should have been pulled back to make room for your melody. Going for periodic addition and subtraction with the instrumentation of the mix was a good idea certainly, but the note structure, pacing, and intensity of the mix remained the same throughout. This obviously lacks dynamic contrast and build, which was something I noted with the previous version. If you're gonna just keep this layout without switching up the flow somewhere, you might as well trim the fat off this and get rid of a minute or more of simply rehashing your arrangement ideas. No sense in making one minute of viable and creative rearrangement but then essentially looping it for 3+ minutes of your 4-minute track. Just like the last version, the breakdown section featuring strings at 3:17 came way too late in the game. Why not introduce ideas like that earlier on? The last hanging note at 4:04 really exposed your synths as well, and was a poor ending. Fashion a real resolution and tighten up the actual finish so it doesn't sound so fake. Personally I'd say drop this one though and simply move onto other projects, so that you can explore new areas of mixing & music creation, and just chock this one up as a learning experience. I don't mean to say that the effort put in here to revise the mix was in vain, as it was a real improvement over what you presented to me before. Thus, I hope you picked up some things from working on this one and hope to see you enhance your work in the future. Keep at it, Brendan. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Nothing really meshes well in this piece. Just a lot of stuff going on at the same time. Also, everything sounds lo-fi. Those strings lack high frequencies, and the percussion is weak as hell. Detach strings at the end are gratuitous and harsh. Not a lot of development; this song doesn't really go anywhere. No intensity, no highs and lows, nothing. The texture isn't even intersting. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
analoq Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 yay, a raptor remix. hmm, it's... not bad, but not good either. i don't feel any evolution or more importantly, tension, in this remix. things come in and out sure, but it doesn't emote. comes off as bland. no edit: oh, i do appreciate that the artist had a 'vision' for this remix. it's nice to hear a remix that is supposed to have a meaning to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Israfel Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 I agree that the mix has a somewhat muffled, lo-fi quality throughout. This never really gets off the ground unfortunately. When you're dealing with minimalist(-ish) music you have to look for ways to continually develop and add interest to the music otherwise there's a great risk of the finished product being emotionally flatlined and/or even boring. And that's a trap that I think this mix falls into. I love your mix choice and some of the arrangement ideas are nice, but this one never really develops satisfyingly. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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