ManniganMusic Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 (I'm new so lemme know if this goes against any rules!) I don't know if you guys have any threads like this already running (doesn't appear to be on the first few pages), but I think this is a fun concept. Rules: 1. Criticize the person above you. Helpful criticism like "your trebles come through too much" or "the bass is muddy" ect, not "I REALLY LIKE IT LOLZZ111" or "DAYUM dat SuKd Major C***k" ect. 2. Post your own work, and wait for a criticism. No double posting (don't criticize yourself...). Here's my submission: I'm currently working on a soundtrack for my friends indie RPG, and we all know that RPG's are required to have an airship. Here's my airship theme: http://soundcloud.com/project-panda-music/beyond-the-horizon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreambliss Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Interesting concept. Listening to your tune I would say the instrument that resembles a flute that comes in at 0:39 and goes until 1:05 is overbearing. It needs to be pulled back into the mix a little bit. Other than that I think the tune is excellent. Here's a link to a post I made a week ago that contains a few songs: http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=33969 Feel free to listen to any of them if you want and provide feedback. I always welcome constructive criticism from other artists. It's how we all learn and improve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowBlade Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Well I like the tune! However, I think better synths/samples would really make this shine! The brassy tone is alright, but just alright. I personally think that the flute and that guitar-ish sounding thing are terrible. The melodies they're playing are great, they're catchy and I love them but the tone is, in my opinion, taking away from it. Funny you should mention, a few days back I was talking about not enough C4C going on this site. So here's my newest thread. http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=34038 Would love to hear what you have to say about my stuff. I warn you though, I suck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreambliss Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 ShadowBlade, your tune didn't suck at all. It's not necessarily a style that I listen to much but I enjoyed it. It is catchy and well put together. Actually I'm finding it quite difficult to constructively critize the tune. The only thing I can come up with is that I think with this style of music, the bass is a tad weak. Although listening in my headphones isn't doing the justice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dash Myoku Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Shadowblade: Definitely some good stuff there. I think the lead synth you have could be replaced with something better. The guitar is perfectly fine and feels right to me. You could probably introduce some new sequences of the voice clip you're using. Switch it up and come up with different variations of it so it keeps peoples interest. :3 Dreambliss: The opening instrument thing in "Starless Night"...it's alright. I don't necessarily like the gated effect you have on it. If you had it do tiplets in any shape or form, I would probably enjoy it more. I <3 the Guitar...the drums sound pretty damn amazing as well. What are you using for them? I must have them. Either way, that's all I can really say about that particular track. It's good and make me jealous. I need to work on more rock-based tracks. ManniganMusic: The sounds you use are meh...but I understand that not everyone can have the amazing sound libraries they would want to use. Composition is solid, I like what you did on the whole. FLSlayer isn't doing this any favors though. I think you'd be better suited finding something else to play the Guitar parts. You never know, something else might sound 10x than you had originally thought. You should also work on your dynamics a little bit. Everything sounds fairly mechanical outside of the Horn Section. Overall though, a great little Airship theme. Here's my track. It isn't finished right now and can definitely use some improvements here and there. As the title would imply, this is a random concept I wrote...so there's really no purpose behind the track right now. I was just writing to write. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManniganMusic Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 Interesting concept. Listening to your tune I would say the instrument that resembles a flute that comes in at 0:39 and goes until 1:05 is overbearing. It needs to be pulled back into the mix a little bit. Other than that I think the tune is excellent.Here's a link to a post I made a week ago that contains a few songs: http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=33969 Feel free to listen to any of them if you want and provide feedback. I always welcome constructive criticism from other artists. It's how we all learn and improve. I agree with you here. Reeling that melody back in! I took the opportunity to listen to your song "Starless Night." That guitar is brutal man, I love it! Only problem I see is I feel the bass isn't coming through enough. Otherwise it's pretty sick. Maybe add some weird ass keyboard solo's dreamtheater style Well I like the tune! However, I think better synths/samples would really make this shine! The brassy tone is alright, but just alright. I personally think that the flute and that guitar-ish sounding thing are terrible. The melodies they're playing are great, they're catchy and I love them but the tone is, in my opinion, taking away from it.Funny you should mention, a few days back I was talking about not enough C4C going on this site. So here's my newest thread. http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=34038 Would love to hear what you have to say about my stuff. I warn you though, I suck. Yea I'm pretty new to anything outside of stock fruity loops samples. I recently found a soundfont with a buttload of "okay" sounds, which are the ones you hear in the song. One day I'll invest in some really sweet samples and sounds! About your song.... I found myself hitting replay! I dig the vocal clipping melody thing. So catchy! I do agree with dreambliss's sentiments about the bass. The bass is weak and with house music you really want it to pull through the mix. But man, your kick is weak! Compress the f**k out of your kick haha, the only percussion I can really feel are the hats! Your snare/clap sounds really distant, albeit that might be what you're intending. Here's a DnB Jam I made: http://soundcloud.com/citron/bazaar Edit: To make this response even longer.... Shadowblade: Definitely some good stuff there. I think the lead synth you have could be replaced with something better. The guitar is perfectly fine and feels right to me. You could probably introduce some new sequences of the voice clip you're using. Switch it up and come up with different variations of it so it keeps peoples interest. :3Dreambliss: The opening instrument thing in "Starless Night"...it's alright. I don't necessarily like the gated effect you have on it. If you had it do tiplets in any shape or form, I would probably enjoy it more. I <3 the Guitar...the drums sound pretty damn amazing as well. What are you using for them? I must have them. Either way, that's all I can really say about that particular track. It's good and make me jealous. I need to work on more rock-based tracks. ManniganMusic: The sounds you use are meh...but I understand that not everyone can have the amazing sound libraries they would want to use. Composition is solid, I like what you did on the whole. FLSlayer isn't doing this any favors though. I think you'd be better suited finding something else to play the Guitar parts. You never know, something else might sound 10x than you had originally thought. You should also work on your dynamics a little bit. Everything sounds fairly mechanical outside of the Horn Section. Overall though, a great little Airship theme. Here's my track. It isn't finished right now and can definitely use some improvements here and there. As the title would imply, this is a random concept I wrote...so there's really no purpose behind the track right now. I was just writing to write. Damn I need some new sound banks lol. Impressive composition here. It lacks direction in my opinion, but as you said there's no purpose so we can't really use that as an accurate criticism. I REALLY want to turn the first half of your track into a kickin house beat haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dash Myoku Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 lol Thanks man. I was probably going to do a genre shift at some point to bring that Synth back in, but also use it as shock treatment. "Oh, this is nice orches~OMFGWTFTRANCE?!" lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreambliss Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 ManniganMusic - Thanks for the feedback. I was conservative with the low-end so I don't have the bass guitar and kick drum fighting for the same EQ space. I did carve out a section of the EQ for each, but still remained overall conservative on the bass guitar. I should really bring it up a bit but I have been so heavily focused on making the guitars sound sick I lost sight of it . Dash Myoku - Thanks for the feedback. The instrument that you are referring to is called the Drunken Harp, and I used it as-is, no added effects. It's in Absynth 5, and well, you can guess by it's name why it sounds the way it does, lol. I use it for atmosphere. All of the guitars are from a softsynth called Electri6ity by a company called Vir2 Instruments. They are routed into Guitar Rig 4 Pro where I created my own custom presets. There are actually four rhythm guitars layered with two hard left and two hard right, all with different effects and slightly different performances. The drums are from Superior Drummer 2.0 by a company called Toontrack. I created my own preset for them as well. Sorry to hear that you are jealous... lol. Last year I spent over $2,500 on software and spent a great deal of time learning everything... and it paid off rather well. You probably don't want to listen to my other two tracks then, hehehe. Now, onto your track. I think this has so much potential. Right now it fits as a soundscape but not quite as a song. I am anxious to hear what you do with this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShadowBlade Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Dash: Loving the choir and basically everything except that synth. I just wasn't feelin' it with the synth. What are you using for the orchestral type instruments? Have you considered adding in some percussion? Dreambliss: Nice guitars!!! Loving that. They got lots of crunch but they're not muddy. Agreed with the other posts about the bass not coming through though. The song has got a progressive metal type feel to it. Reminds me of Symphony X! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickomoo Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 (I'm new so lemme know if this goes against any rules!)I don't know if you guys have any threads like this already running (doesn't appear to be on the first few pages), but I think this is a fun concept. Rules: 1. Criticize the person above you. Helpful criticism like "your trebles come through too much" or "the bass is muddy" ect, not "I REALLY LIKE IT LOLZZ111" or "DAYUM dat SuKd Major C***k" ect. 2. Post your own work, and wait for a criticism. No double posting (don't criticize yourself...). Here's my submission: I'm currently working on a soundtrack for my friends indie RPG, and we all know that RPG's are required to have an airship. Here's my airship theme: http://soundcloud.com/project-panda-music/beyond-the-horizon Wow, nice! I'm accustomed to my airship themes being darker (smb 3's spoiled me), but this is a really good composition! Yeah like everyone else said, the sounds are perhaps the only problem. Someone mentioned that you used slayer, I thought that was suppose to just be a dirty synth. I think you'd be better off using a bright synth or instrument there. Maybe even softer, idk. But in all that was good. Interesting concept. Listening to your tune I would say the instrument that resembles a flute that comes in at 0:39 and goes until 1:05 is overbearing. It needs to be pulled back into the mix a little bit. Other than that I think the tune is excellent.Here's a link to a post I made a week ago that contains a few songs: http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=33969 Feel free to listen to any of them if you want and provide feedback. I always welcome constructive criticism from other artists. It's how we all learn and improve. When you posted in my other topic, I wanted to tell you that these songs were awesome man. I have no real complaints. Well except, for some reason I want the guitar and bass to sound louder, maybe the entire thing lol. I'm accustomed to having guitars scream in my ear, maybe that's why. Well I like the tune! However, I think better synths/samples would really make this shine! The brassy tone is alright, but just alright. I personally think that the flute and that guitar-ish sounding thing are terrible. The melodies they're playing are great, they're catchy and I love them but the tone is, in my opinion, taking away from it.Funny you should mention, a few days back I was talking about not enough C4C going on this site. So here's my newest thread. http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=34038 Would love to hear what you have to say about my stuff. I warn you though, I suck. My only criticism is that you don't suck and you accept your awesomeness lol. That was honestly a nice beat, a good listen! Here's my track. It isn't finished right now and can definitely use some improvements here and there. As the title would imply, this is a random concept I wrote...so there's really no purpose behind the track right now. I was just writing to write. I know it's a random concept, but I think that everything did go well together. I kinda expected a "breakdown" or a "speed up" part, especially when the orchestral instruments went into the background. Those are honestly some nice sounds though. and to top this all off, here's the latest song I've written. Since I just started composing, it needs work, but I'm not exactly sure what to do with this. I really wanted it to be an rpg or like anime fighting scene, I'm writing a graphic novel and I was hoping to write music that would allow me to envision more scenes, but it lacks that push idk: http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=33890 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManniganMusic Posted March 21, 2011 Author Share Posted March 21, 2011 @mickomoo: I think you hit the mood right on the head, I don't even think you need more percussion then you already have (maybe timpani strikes if anything to accentuate some important beats, like the trumpet line or somethin). Which brings me to the only sound complaint, the trumpets. They feel...suppressed? Not muted, but rather that the sound isn't coming through completely. That might not make sense :tomatoface:overall I like it though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dash Myoku Posted March 21, 2011 Share Posted March 21, 2011 Dreambliss: I've heard things about Eletri6ity, infact I'm pretty sure I saw a Youtube video about it. My complaint at the time was that you could tell that it had a bit of MIDI-ish sound to it. But after hearing your track, it makes me have second thoughts about my initial opinion. $2,500? Damn dude, that is a lot of money my friend. Money I wish I had to spend... xD And thanks about my track, I'm usually quite good at creating soundscapes...and sometimes good at actually writing songs with them. This time wasn't the case, but we'll see have it unfolds with some more work. ShadowBlade: lol I knew someone was going to hate on the Synth and after listening to the concept a few more times...yeah, I pretty much agree with you there. The concept worked when it was mostly electronic in the beginning, but now it's evolved from that into Orchestra. Speaking of, the Orchestra sounds are from East West Quantum Leap Symphony Orchestra - Gold Edition. Very very VERY handy little piece of software. The Choir is apart of my Kontakt Library, though I don't remember the name of the original library when I had initially found it. But, I'm glad I DID find it none-the-less. Percussion? Quite possibly, to be honest. Though my percussion work usually isn't too amazing, so I tend to save it for last if I can help it. Well, alright...my percussion work is usually hit-or-miss. I played Trumpet in Highschool, not percussion...so I never found the grasp on them. ; mickomoo: Thank you thank you. This track could definitely use some breakdowns and the like for sure, I've just been lazy and getting the general idea I wanted down. Your track...yes, definite timing issues. What program are you using to write your compositions? If it's FLStudio, then you can get a nifty little program called "ASIO4ALL" (Though I think FL has this included with it's install, I can't remember). But either way, if you have it and set it as your soundcard in FL, then it literally halves the MIDI latency. If you don't use FL, then I would suggest you look around Google to see if ASIO can be used in your program of choice. The track as a whole is vey dark and menacing, really. I like what you have, but you do have some balancing issues that can be worked out, not to mention dynamics as well (the Cello is way too strong, it doesn't need to overpower everything else, for instance). The Trumpets definitely sound a bit cheap, but if you're working with limited resources, then I can't fault you on that. And the only thing I have left to say is maybe to add a little more percussion. A military-esque Snare part wouldn't hurt this. Hell, even a simple drum kit would work for this, imo. Regardless, I like this and want to see you improve it. And just for fun, here's another track I started work on shortly after the one I posted in this thread. http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=34065 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickomoo Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 @mickomoo:I think you hit the mood right on the head, I don't even think you need more percussion then you already have (maybe timpani strikes if anything to accentuate some important beats, like the trumpet line or somethin). Which brings me to the only sound complaint, the trumpets. They feel...suppressed? Not muted, but rather that the sound isn't coming through completely. That might not make sense :tomatoface:overall I like it though! I hit the mood but the song isn't really helping my other creative endeavor... I suppose it's just cus it's not complete. But when I listen to Yoko Shimomura's compositions for battles from kingdom hearts it really stimulates my imagination. I'm thinking maybe some kinda percussion might help but I know I defiantly need to work on timing too. The trumpets are kinda suppressed... I don't know how to mix properly mickomoo: Thank you thank you. This track could definitely use some breakdowns and the like for sure, I've just been lazy and getting the general idea I wanted down. Your track...yes, definite timing issues. What program are you using to write your compositions? If it's FLStudio, then you can get a nifty little program called "ASIO4ALL" (Though I think FL has this included with it's install, I can't remember). But either way, if you have it and set it as your soundcard in FL, then it literally halves the MIDI latency. If you don't use FL, then I would suggest you look around Google to see if ASIO can be used in your program of choice. The track as a whole is vey dark and menacing, really. I like what you have, but you do have some balancing issues that can be worked out, not to mention dynamics as well (the Cello is way too strong, it doesn't need to overpower everything else, for instance). The Trumpets definitely sound a bit cheap, but if you're working with limited resources, then I can't fault you on that. And the only thing I have left to say is maybe to add a little more percussion. A military-esque Snare part wouldn't hurt this. Hell, even a simple drum kit would work for this, imo. Regardless, I like this and want to see you improve it. And just for fun, here's another track I started work on shortly after the one I posted in this thread. http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=34065 The timing is completely my fault, lol I play all my parts by hand, usually without consideration of time signature, at least for my first draft, I'm going to rewrite this song when I create the percussion for it... which I suck at. I can't come up with percussion parts to save my life. It doesn't help that I have a terrible sense of rhythm >_< I did go overboard with the bass. I had two double basses play at the lowest octave. It was weird cus when it was just one it didn't feel loud enough for me, but I'm thinking I could just EQ the better sounding one.. now. There is definitely something wrong with the trumpets, and the trombone... the disappointing thing (or I guess potentially redeeming) is that they're from Kontatk 4. NI's sounds shouldn't be sounding this bad, but I can't mix them that well. I'm still new to making music in general, so I'm not using anything to it's max potential. Btw, I really love the track you posted. That bass reminds me of something from Tron Legacy... and I was kinda a little disappointed with that soundtrack. I wish this were in that movie lol. Here's another song I wrote recently (5 versions to be exact): http://ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=34057 but specifically I wanted to improve the piano version: http://tindeck.com/listen/plul It sounds way too bright for my liking... I wanted it to sound something more like: or more specifically like track 16 from threshold of a dream: http://threshold.ocremix.org/music.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ManniganMusic Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 @Dash Just to prove how tasty it would be, here's 5 minutes of editing haha: http://soundcloud.com/citron/dashsremix-gg Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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