GSO Posted January 24, 2012 Author Share Posted January 24, 2012 version 14(thanx darkesword for your help): I was FINALLY Able to figure out the whole humanizing bit lol ( think its done I could be wrong tho) mod review plz ^w^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calum Posted January 25, 2012 Share Posted January 25, 2012 version 14(thanx darkesword for your help): I was FINALLY Able to figure out the whole humanizing bit lol ( think its done I could be wrong tho) mod review plz ^w^ This is a really big improvement from what I last heard. It still feels a little directionless to me. loose variations on midna's theme. It's all very static - perhaps cos you have that drone going through the whole piece. It might add a little drama to the piece to change the harmony at some point - move that drone to different notes! The samples aren't amazing but i'm not going to tell you to spend loads of money to get better! I believe there's still a lot you could do with what you've got. The arpeggio type figure which starts off is just there and never comes back or evolves in anyway. As soon as the melody comes in that figure disappears. Also there's a lot of the midna track which has been left untouched (mostly harmonically) in this version - perhaps these could act as different sections. You hint at the second section of the source in your version but never truly go to it. I hope this makes sense. Compositionally it seems extremely repetitive, vague and structureless. That would be for me the main thing to work on. Try writing it out on a piece of paper - here's section A with this variation & instruments etc, section B has same melody different instrumentation, section C has same instrumentaton different bit ETC. ETC. Just some kind of structure instead of a big flowy nothing (In the nicest possible way). You get some nice (gamalan-esque) textures at the end but it stops so suddenly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSO Posted January 26, 2012 Author Share Posted January 26, 2012 This is a really big improvement from what I last heard. It still feels a little directionless to me. loose variations on midna's theme. It's all very static - perhaps cos you have that drone going through the whole piece. It might add a little drama to the piece to change the harmony at some point - move that drone to different notes! The samples aren't amazing but i'm not going to tell you to spend loads of money to get better! I believe there's still a lot you could do with what you've got. The arpeggio type figure which starts off is just there and never comes back or evolves in anyway. As soon as the melody comes in that figure disappears. Also there's a lot of the midna track which has been left untouched (mostly harmonically) in this version - perhaps these could act as different sections. You hint at the second section of the source in your version but never truly go to it. I hope this makes sense. Compositionally it seems extremely repetitive, vague and structureless. That would be for me the main thing to work on. Try writing it out on a piece of paper - here's section A with this variation & instruments etc, section B has same melody different instrumentation, section C has same instrumentaton different bit ETC. ETC. Just some kind of structure instead of a big flowy nothing (In the nicest possible way).You get some nice (gamalan-esque) textures at the end but it stops so suddenly. version 15: tell me if it still needs work. oh and btw, the orchestra samples are from garritan. I love them lol(christmas present lolz) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jordanrooben Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 version 15: tell me if it still needs work. oh and btw, the orchestra samples are from garritan. I love them lol(christmas present lolz) I've been watching this since you started, and you've done a huge amount on this track, and it shows. It's much better than it was at first. I like how it starts, the chords are nice and the lead is soothing. The bell sounds are also good. I can tell you tried to humanize them as well. I don't have a huge amount of experience with humanizing, but it seems to me that you made to drastic of a change to the velocity, and it still sounds mechanical. It might be better if it were more subtle. I like the motifs you have going on, I can't put my finger on what it is but I keep hearing bits and pieces of some other zelda song. Wow, I really like the end section. Maybe you could use some of those instruments in earlier parts. It's still rather repetitious, and feels like it doesn't have any particular goal in mind. I think the edits to the melody are rather static, and don't go very far from the source, instead they kind of shift between two or maybe three notes. Also, the arrangement is quite sparse. There doesn't seem to be any chords, just that cello in the background. Early in the song it's understandable for it to be sparse, but it's boring since it doesn't change much. The worst part is the fact that there's no climax or cadence near the end. The song never really *lives*, so to speak. Overall, I would recommend you add more backing and structure, and some sort of climax at the end. You definitely have potential here, brush up on this, and it should be several times better. Kudos on the source also. Midna's lament is awesome, and ocremix could use more remixes of it. It's not an easy song to work with. I've tried to work with it, and this is better than my attempts, so, good job. I'll definitely be watching this track. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Modus Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 This feels completely bottomless. I know I'm on headphones, but I really hear no bass a all. So since there's no bassline, no drums, and you're intentionally being loose with your timing, it sounds disjointed to me. Notice in Tattered Slippers that he used a pizza bass and some background drones to give it both a bottom and an atmosphere. Others mentioned that is doesn't really evolve or go anywhere, which I also agree with. Keep working on it.. critically listen to your favorite OCR tracks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSO Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 today's version: update from yesterday(drums, more bassline, etc): well I took a break from this for a while, finished up some non VG music stuff, came back and did a complete overhaul. I matched up the timing, it goes from 6/8 to 4/4 & back a couple of times. btw, if anyone's interested it's 70 bpm. I added some simple basslines. no drums yet tho. any suggestions for drums would be greatly appreciated lol : Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GSO Posted February 20, 2012 Author Share Posted February 20, 2012 I know it ain't perfect, but I'm stumped:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillRock Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 PRODUCTION Low-quality samples Unrealistic sequencing STRUCTURE Lacks coherence overall (no "flow") Not enough changes in sounds (eg. static texture, not dynamic enough) Pace too plodding Too repetitive Abrupt ending I will say that the arrangement and the performances seemed good to me for the most part, the sources were handled well, and the performance seemed tight enough after seeing previous comments. However, there are minor issues with humanization on your leads, particularly that opening violin and throughout as its used in the piece. Mess with the amp envelop automation a little, give some notes some decay or attack etc... i'd listen to the way people play violin and make edits as appropriate to make that performance seem more humanistic. Its all in the envelops I'm hearing a lot wrong with the structure unfortunately with the track lacking flow (it just plods along for about 5 minutes with the same dynamics, same textures, same sparseness, it doesn't change or evolve in any way really, which when you consider this track is 5 minutes long, it gets... taxing to listen to. The ending just seemed random. Why end it there? why not end it 2 minutes before hand? I couldn't tell what your structure was quite honestly, you need to work on differentiating each section with dynamic, textural, and instrumental changes. This sounds like a decent base for a good WIP. However, you need to work on your structuring and your humanisation to get this posted on OCR. Good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozovian Posted February 21, 2012 Share Posted February 21, 2012 I'm gonna disagree with Will, not as a mod review, just as a remixer. And I'll be blunt: You are deaf to your own music. You need to learn to listen critically to your own tracks, or you will never get a track on ocr. I'm not saying this to discourage you, just to tell you how to improve. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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