Polo Posted February 3, 2015 Report Share Posted February 3, 2015 In Smash 4 (where I got the image from), this teamup is called "Duck Hunt," so that's their name. In Europe, they're called Duck Hunt Duo. The team consists of a duck and a hound. Huh. Seems like they should've been called Duck Hunt Duo everywhere, but whatever. Thanks for clarifying. would "land hard enough after jumping" imply bodily injury on Ludwig's part? Not if he uses his weight against Mario. It's an asset, not a liability. "Ludwig's abilities may differ between games, and are sometimes demonstrated by other Koopalings, but..." This I can work with, danke (+added the word "may"). Well, I did some research on the guy and it looks like it was mostly used sarcastically back in the days of unmod. I hope I haven't hurt too many people's feelings by using it sincerely... Ha, don't worry about it. I always view the Nice Work emoticon as genuine (if low-key) praise. OK, spajjder, thanks for sticking around! QFE. Thanks especially for patiently following along with my and Dafydd's back-and-forth as we try to agree on workable edits. Your bio looks close to finished. Saying "The plot revolves around" breaks the fourth wall unnecessarily, and the paragraph lacks flow and doesn't fit well with the surrounding ones. How about something like: "The story begins when Gruntilda Winkybunion, a hideous green witch, becomes jealous of Banjo's little sister Tooty's beautiful looks. As part of a plan to switch their looks, the witch kidnaps the cub, prompting Banjo and Kazooie to set out to rescue her." No 4th wall breakage, no plan details to draw attention away from B&K's main mission, "plan" is mentioned once instead of twice, only 2 sentences... mid-air attacks, jumping higher and farther, and even firing eggs from her beak or out of her rear. I want the mid-air attacks after the jumping higher and farther, but then we run a risk of the egg firing being interpreted as a mid-air attack. Hmm... Your first suggestion is fine, but I disagree on the second. The way I read it, firing eggs is just another ability, not related to attacking in midair. (Also, midair doesn't need a hyphen.) The protagonists traverse mountains, deserts, and the very seasons themselves This paragraph would feel better in the future tense, I think. Care to explain why? It's not like other bios needed to move into the future tense after the plot has been set up in the past (or present) tense. I think this paragraph is fine. Will Banjo and Kazooie be able to save Tooty, or will Gruntilda be able to finish her "makeover" and doom Tooty to hideousness? Again, you have "be able to" twice in close proximity. How about "Will Banjo and Kazooie save Tooty in time"? To add to this, I think it's better to omit both instances of "be able to" for word economy. you have "Tooty" twice in the same sentence, which I'd like to avoid if possible. The second Tooty can instead be "the girl/child/damsel/little one/whatever" Also Dafydd, spajjder is the real author of those last three quotes in your post, not me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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