Chimpazilla Posted February 24, 2015 Share Posted February 24, 2015 (edited) original decision Hi folks - Thanks for the feedback on the previous mix! I've re-worked the track quite a bit, and now submit its edits for evaluation. Here's the following info: Track submission link: Your ReMixer name: belthesar Your real name: Cody Wilson Your email address: Your website: http://belthesar.com Your userid (number, not name) on our forums, found by viewing your forum profile: 5335 Name of game(s) arranged: Chrono Trigger, Final Fantasy VII (Although it's just a hint, I dont' know if it counts) Name of arrangement: Precious Ocean Name of individual song(s) arranged: Ocean Palace, Mako Reactor Additional information about game including composer, system, etc: Yasunori Mitsuda, Nobuo Uematsu Link to the original soundtrack: http://ocremix.org/song/68 , http://ocremix.org/song/124 Your own comments about the mix, for example the inspiration behind it, how it was made, etc.: Original story is here: http://codywilson.co/2014/03/22/post/ In addition to that post, I add the following - In the 10 months from submission to this resubmission of what was the first track I've ever produced, I've learned quite a bit about music production. From the addition of new tools to my technology arsenal to learning quite a bit more about music production, the almost year of time between my original submission and the edit has been substantial, and I feel this is quite the reflection of what I've learned as the years have gone by and my journey as a producer. It felt very honoring to receive the nod to resubmit this track. Thanks for listening! I look forward to your feedback. -Cody 'belthesar' Wilson ------------------------------- Edited March 20, 2015 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted February 24, 2015 Author Share Posted February 24, 2015 The piano still sounds stiff but I can hear there has been humanization work done. Some changes have been made to the drum writing and it is more varied and better now. There are some nice new melodic interpretations in the second half. I hear a few notes here and there that may not be the best fit but they aren't bothering me too much. The arrangement still feels quite samey throughout, but I think it's in pass territory now. I'm going to say it is borderline primarily due to the arrangement being a bit stagnant. Still, it's a good track, and great job on the improvements you made! YES (borderline) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted March 11, 2015 Share Posted March 11, 2015 Didn't judge the first version, but this started out pretty nicely. The lil' hand percussion touches added at :23 and gradually building were mixed too loud IMO, but it wasn't a huge deal. Great job retaining the mood of the original while changing the rhythms a bit. What happened at 1:21? The synth at 1:21 clashed in places with the piano until 1:40; another J can better explain what sounded off there. Not feeling the percussion additions at 1:50; those thuds sounded out of place with the rest of the instrumentation, moreso when exposed from 3:01-3:13. That could stand to be pulled back a bit along with the volume of the hand percussion. Maybe it's a just a personal taste thing, so we'll see where the other Js fall, but IMO the thick beats for all of the second half didn't quite click here. Along with agreeing with Chimpa's crit that the arrangement ideas in the second half were stagnant/repetitive, that and the beats in the second half are enough to ask for a resub after another pass at this. TL;DR: The arrangement's pointing in the right direction and this maybe could make it as is, but, for me, the second half needs more interesting/unique variations of the source, whether it be more melodic changes, instrumentation changes or rhythmic variations. The textures in the second half also aren't cohesive at all, IMO, so I can't quite sign off on this yet. Like I mentioned, I didn't hear the first version, but whether or not this version passes, you're well on your way to getting posted with work like this Cody. Now it's about getting the detail work sounding great. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted March 19, 2015 Share Posted March 19, 2015 This is certainly an improvement over the last version! The piano has been reigned in a LOT better, and there's a lot of original writing and variations to carry things along in the second half. Your drums are also improved quite a bit, though I agree with Larry that they're just a touch too loud across the board, and the rapid snare hits need a bit of velocity tweaking to sound more natural. Overall, your arrangement still utilizes a subtle dynamic curve but it's holding my interest better than the first iteration. I see what the other judges are saying about it being pretty repetitive, but I think you do plenty to expand things as you progress... there's no "in-your-face" changeups but I think you did well with gradually ramping up intensity. I still don't love the synth patches you are using though, and I'm definitely agreeing with what Larry's said about them clashing... I think the slow-attack/long-decay on most of your synths is still contributing some muddiness and not really adding much to the arrangement. At 1:22, the patch used isn't distinct enough to really carry a melody and is heavily sustained... it doesn't really fill out the soundscape enough to function as a pad, and isn't sharp enough to cut through as a harmony, so it just seems... there. I didn't really touch much on this in my last vote but it's definitely an issue that's still present. Still not totally cutting it for me... it's very close in my mind, but the synths stick out as a weak element that could stand to be revisited. Good luck with the rest of the vote, either way! You've got some great material here. NO (resubmit!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Larry's got some great crits here, and I think I'm on the same level as him. To me the dealbreaker is coming from the fact that you are using the same riff throughout most of the track, and while there are some changes going on here and there, that specific riff stays pretty much the same throughout. I think adding some subtle changes to it would help. It does drop out for a bit, in the 1:20 section, but that part feels more like a transition between parts instead of something new, so it doesn't give the ears a new focus. Perhaps having a different melody line or a solo would help. As a personal note, I loved the intro and the build-up, and was expecting a big part to come in, and was a bit disappointed when the track ended up staying as mellow as it did. That is more a personal taste, so you are welcome to take it or leave it as you will This is my first time hearing this, and I think you've got a good groove going on here. There definitely needs to be some adjustments, but I think you can tweek it into the right direction. I encourage you to post this in our WIP forums and get some more feedback! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vig Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 (edited) Vig: What I like about this track is that it builds. It gets more complex over three and a half minutes, yet it still feels really slow. I think the climax should be more dramatic. The track opens up as a tense, slow builder, but it never pays off. Another issue is the harmonic writing, especially around the 1:30 mark. There's some modulation that is never really established, and sounds really sloppy. Good start, but it needs more work. NO. And with that, I hand it over to special guest judge zykO: a sluggish journey that doesn't quite take me where I was expecting i'd end up. i think the main detraction here for me is that the percussion doesn't drive it the way i think it ought to have, it's dry and not energetic. the piano at the end of the track sorta fizzles out without much resolution. i'm actually really down with some of the arrangement ideas, thoug - a fresh take on the ocean palace that could have been so much more engaging. NO. Now here's an incredibly douchey pic to be deleted before this thread is made public. [Redacted] Edited March 20, 2015 by Vig Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted March 20, 2015 Share Posted March 20, 2015 Now here's an incredibly douchey pic to be deleted before this thread is made public. [Redacted] The world will never know. I mean that, because we have no idea what the pic even was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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