Chimpazilla Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 (edited) Hey, thanks for checkin this out! About me: - Epoch - (Ethan Norris) - - https://soundcloud.com/epochbeats Track Info: - Dark Matter (Drum & Bass) - - Inspiration from 'Undersea Palace' from Chrono Trigger Edited September 17, 2015 by Liontamer closed decision Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted August 30, 2015 Author Share Posted August 30, 2015 Starts out dark and cool. That first lead is pretty plain though, and piercing. Good buildup but the drop doesn't have a ton of impact. DnB drumming sounds cool but the pattern is pretty repetitive. Nice soft breakdown... but at 2:38 the melody starts again with that same piercing lead and identical writing to the first iteration (the sections are almost identical). In the sections from 1:19-1:41 and 3:12-3:35, I think the lead writing pattern has at least one note that's off-timed, and it shows because the pattern is used repeatedly in both these sections (used as lead and also as a backing element in a lower octave). Forgive me if that was intentional, but it just sounds off to me. The outro is the identical piano part from the beginning of the breakdown, and it doesn't really feel like a resolution other than the cymbal splash. I want to see what others think of this one before voting but I'm leaning towards resub. edit 9/16/15: The other Js have added some very good advice on this. I'm going to go with my original feeling and say please fix this up and resubmit it. The ideas are solid, just gotta add some variation and polish it up. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonAvenger Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Kris has the right of this: the lead needs some work. The synth itself sounds pretty blocky and piercing and that particular melody line is used quite a lot without any change in the rhythm, notes, or attack. Definitely could use some more variation there, as well in the drums and occasionally the bass. There's a lot of space to work with and is love to hear you make the parts really support each other more. On another note I love what you did with the source arpeggio. It feels like a natural change to the source opening and really adds done flavor to the track. Keep working on this! Use our WIP forums to get done more advice! No (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkeSword Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Is it weird that I feel like this piece never actually gets started? There's something that you're doing with your drums that kills the energy in the piece, and it took me two listens to figure out what exactly was happening here. The drop is ostensibly supposed to happen at 1:18; you spend all the preceding time building up to it with a classic halftime beat in the drums. But then once everything builds up and the arpeggios come in, here's what happens: there's only one kick drum hit and it's on the first downbeat of the measure. That makes the whole piece sound like it's still in build-up mode; everything hits there and sort of floats around until the next measure. You need a kick on the upbeat of 2 at the very least to keep the energy driving forward, and possible the second or fourth 16th on 4. What you have: Beat 1 e + a 2 e + a 3 e + a 4 e + a Kick X · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · Snare · · · · X · · · · · X · · · · · What you want: Beat 1 e + a 2 e + a 3 e + a 4 e + a Kick X · · · · · X · · · · · · ? · ? Snare · · · · X · · · · · X · · · · · And other variations. This is a real problem because it totally makes your drop anti-climactic. Sound design and choices are all pretty great; I agree that the lead needs tweaking and I'm not crazy about your portamento'd synth in the arpeggio but otherwise it's pretty solid. Real issue is that you need to vary stuff up more. Drums are repetitive and this mix kind of goes through the motions twice. Feels like you ran out of ideas, which is a shame, because your ideas are great. Hit the workshop and get this back to us. NO, resub Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted September 9, 2015 Share Posted September 9, 2015 Shariq NAILED this one. I wouldn't have been able to really explain what sounded wrong about this but the drum loop is really not carrying this track properly. Good call. Production-wise, I found most of the synths to be a little bit shrill and dry-sounding, especially those lower-register chords that stick through most of the track. There's some cool melodic adaptations of the source tune here, but the sound design is leaving something to be desired. The piano break sounded great at the end but it was over way too soon! I think you could have extended that section out a few more bars to get better closure on the track. Definitely think this would be a good candidate for the workshop, you've got some nice ideas but there's some pieces that haven't fallen into place yet. NO (resub) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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