SFRG overflow Armored Armadillo

[YoshiBlade]

So, back during the SFRG I thought that we would be getting to remix more than 1 track, So I started remixing all my draft selection picks, it was only like week 2-3 that I came to realize I had to make 3 remixes of only 1 draft selection...sooooo I had all these WIPS of my top 5 choices and short-story-long I made more remixes than I was required to do so....and here's one of them 

 

Remix- https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B80H6SsEW90wVFlpeXc0aWdCUkU/view?pli=1

 

Original 

[Slimy]

I love this remix. So much that I just downloaded it in it's WIP state. I don't really have any criticisms, but this isn't a genre I'm familiar with, so that doesn't count for much.

[timaeus222]

At 0:32, the ascension that comes in sounds like it's in a clashing key. I think it would help to take out the internal harmonies in the first synth you use. It sounds as if you have a patch that is already pre-harmonized into major thirds, which doesn't help if you want to use minor thirds every now and then.

 

Until 1:04, it doesn't sound to me like the track really develops a soundscape that isn't empty. Before then, it is literally drums + two synths. I'm surprised that you have no padding elements. At 1:04, the high passed lead sounds a bit weird and a bit painful. Why is so much low end cut out? It's as if it isn't supposed to be a lead and the bass is the focus.

 

You seem to have changed key at 1:36 without realizing it. You went up a perfect fourth into a new key. Just thought I'd let you know. Then at 1:47, the bass that comes in also feels like it's in another key. It makes more sense once it fully comes in, but initially it didn't feel right.

 

Finally, at 2:10, you have a substantial soundscape. The lead could be louder, but this is a good spot to build up to. At 2:47, it's a bit crowded, so consider rebalancing the bass and lead. And uh... fadeout? I think there could be some sort of ending near 3:35, or at least a more creative way to fade.

 

Overall, not too bad. A bit meandering, and sometimes empty-sounding (one of the major issues). You have multiple keys overlayed here sometimes, which is strange and is another major issue here. But it's a fun listen.

[Rozovian]

One of my favorite sources from MMX. Interesting sound design. Retro drums. Cool pan effects, new timing for the melody, but at least there's source. Not much source at times. 2:10, very nice buildup and transition. 2:30, so many overlapping saw things that ruin the gating for each other. Lead melody with no apparent connection to the source. Those are my first impressions.

 

I like it, there's lots of cool things in here, but it's not ocr stuff just yet. There's not enough source to qualify as "dominant". I'm okay with just about everything else as a stylistic choice, although that's not to say it's flawless or necessarily passable by ocr's standards... though that depends a lot on the presentation; a simple retro synth will fit a retro synth track better than a modern one. But those are all things that could work. This remix' main problem is the arrangement, source usage especially, and that's not at an ocr level.

 

Keep working on it. Find ways to incorporate the source more, to make any existing source usage I missed more clear. You can deal with things like the 1:37 transition and the sparse soundscape while you deal with other arrangement issues.