Liontamer Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 Contact: ReMixer name: Maxo Real Name: Max Coburn Email: maximum28@aol.com Website: www.myspace.com/maxoelectronic ReMix: Game Remixed: Mario Paint Song: Title Screen Remix title: Mario PAINTED! Additional Info: Composed by: Hirokazu Tanaka/Ryoji Yoshitomi/Kazumi Totaka, System: SNES Comments: I heard the title theme for the first time in about 5 years, and I realized that it had nothing other than the melody, so I decided to analyze the melody, and make chords over it, and turn it into a sort of jazz-ish type remix. The drum sample is from "Uptight" by Art Blakey. During the piano solo I made, I messed up. A lot. but then I kind of went along with it, and it ended up sounding really funny. Especially when it comes back in. Thanks for your time, and your site for that matter. I hope you'll consider it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zircon Posted September 12, 2006 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Well, it's nice to see someone taking a shot at this theme even though it's pretty difficult to ReMix. Let me first say that I really like the concept here. The original seems to lend itself very well to the style you were attempting here. However, I think the execution fell short. The production jumped out at me first. The bass is WAY too loud. It practically clips the whole time, and it plays very mechanically. A more realistic sequence is definitely needed there. The drum pattern on repeat the whole time was grating in the high frequencies, and honestly, using a looped sample for this style is no good. Hit the ReMixing forum for help on how to sequence a good, varied drum part, or better yet, find a jazz drummer to record the part for you (*cough* DrumUltimA). In fact, it wouldn't be a bad idea to find a live sax player too, though I think with some work you could make that line more realistic. The piano sample was generally OK though again, the sequencing was somewhat mechanical, and it was a little too low-end heavy. In regards to the overall arrangement, I feel like you were on the right track, but didn't quite get it. The intro was a little too sparse given that it was just playing the original melody straight up. Some basic variation there to keep it fresh before the rest of the instruments come in would be a good idea. The instrument solos that came later were both placed well, but in and of themselves were sloppy and amateur-ish. The idea behind the end of the piano solo also sounded good in theory but didn't really work, IMO. Again, here's where I would recommend either brushing up on your sequencing/performing skills or finding some instrumentalists to record/sequence the parts for you. At 2:02, returning to the main theme + chord progression is a good idea, but I would have went with more variation there rather than repetition of the basic melody. In short: good concept, weaker execution. Hit the ReMixing and WIP forums for additional help. I look forward to hearing more from you, and a resubmit on this. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted September 14, 2006 Author Share Posted September 14, 2006 http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=mpnt - "Mario Paint" (mpnt-01a.spc) Yeah, pretty cool choice of theme. Disappointing name for the arrangement though. zircon covered all the cons of the looped drum sample, which I won't repeat (except to say that he's right). Sax introing in at :08 sounds too synthetic and thin, but I appreciate the effort. Wow, that bassline at :40 is definitely distorting a hell of a lot. Piano actually sounds fairly ok; a bit fakey but it's being buried by that clippy bass so it's harder to tell what's up. Sax gets more freestylin' at 1:13, but at the expense of GREATLY exposing the sample. Piano comping at 1:30 was also a great concept that sounded fairly decent for being sequenced but, again, still greatly exposed the realism limitations of the sample. Ha, nice fuckup at 1:40 as the whole performance gradually broke down at 1:47; more people need to be daring like that and throw in an artistically creative flub like banging on the keys for some dissonance. God way to turn a potential negative (messing up the solo) into a positive. I actually feel it worked well, all things considered. Same issues coming back into a last iteration of the arrangement at 1:56; clipping bass, thin-sounding sax. But do try and very up the arrangement there for that last iteration of the arrangement. No good repeating it verbatim when you have a 3-minute mix. Ending merely exposed the sax sample badly again and didn't sound like as much of a happy accident at the piano breaking down earlier. Gotta tighten that up. Great potential, Max. Take zirc's criticisms into account, eliminate the clipping, work on varying the arrangement for that last section with some further interpretation or instrumentation changes, and refine the sample usage to flow more realistically in the performance and sound more realisitc with the tone. NO (rework/resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zykO Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 so umm this is great. i have no stylistic issues; the jazz is refreshing. the piano solo is great and the way it fumbles out like that is very cool. i'd do somethin like that, no? the track in general is well put together if it weren't for two prominent issues that automatically sink the piece. for one, the bass is murderous. i can't listen to this for too long or i really do get a ringing in my head. not good. tone it down a bit - the walking bassline itself is great but it just shouldn't actually kill your listener ... only groove 'em. the other matter is that of the drums and, like those before me have pointed out, it gets extremely boring and annoying after a while. it isn't a steady groove really so it does not benefit from such stark repition; a jazz beat is something that almost requires dynamic variation by nature. it, otherwise, sits awkward in the back of such varied instrumentation in front of it. i don't see how you can place a walking bassline on top of that static a beat... it effectively kills the rhythm. really, if you want to turn this into a killer track, get a real drummer or go in and vary it up manually. it may take you some time but the end result is worth it. have fun with it, don't forget that, in jazz more than most other genres, the drums are often as "fun" as the instruments ahead of it. i don't have a problem with anything outside of the drums and bass. i think everything else will better fall into place once the backbone of the piece is repaired. think of having a ruined vertebra. your posture is the first thing negatively affected otherwise. damn. great choice of source material. it yields itself naturally to jazz as koji kondo is a very jazzy fellow and most mario music is obviously in concert with this. i've heard this track performed jazz several times before, actually but i think this is one of the more daring takes of it. kudos. this is a yes waiting for a new backbone. NO:( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJT Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 well, at least this is sound from a music theory/harmonic perspective. trust me, most jazz submissions we get fail completely, as opposed to this mix, which just fails from a production/performance standpoint. That/those drum loop is/are pretty weak, and when you drop the volume (when you move into the solo section), it sounds really unnatural. I mean, more so. The arrangement isn't anything spectacular, covering the theme and then moving into a solo section. Try to add some more personal touch to the melody. the piano comping is solid. The synth keyboard sax solo isn't all that bad, synthetic for sure, but it was reasonably melodic. The piano solo is just really bad. Sloppy and directionless, it sounds like an outake, and not in the avant-garde, thelonious monk kind of way either. If the "sax" solo is any indication (i assume the same artist was performing both solos) you can do A LOT better. KEY ISSUES TO ADDRESS: * drum loops = no. sequencing swing is really hard, but it's possible. either that, or take andy's advice and get a real drummer * sample quality needs to be improved (especially the sax) * your improvisation isn't at a level where it can carry an arrangement, keep working at it, but don't rely on it for that "personal touch" an arrangement may be lacking. * finally, don't get discouraged. this critique is pretty harsh, but it's cuz i care about this stuff so much. jazz is hard to do synthetically. remember that, and keep at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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