spellmynamewithabang Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 (Copy and paste)http://www.freewebs.com/sbcrap/cityofspeedlocalorieversion.mp3 This is an F -Zero ReMix of Mute City, entitled "City of Speed". It be my first. It's completely finished, and I submitted it a few hours ago, so yah, enjoy. The remix is meant to be a verry funky, synthetic mix. My personal favorite is the ending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skrypnyk Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 hmm....ok wow don't get your hopes with this mix getting on OCR. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spellmynamewithabang Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 hmm....okwow don't get your hopes with this mix getting on OCR. Well, what don't you like about it? It is my first ReMix after all, so I didn't expect it to be perfect. I'd like som constructive critiscism on what I can perfect and what I can make better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Scheule Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I don't have any detailed criticism at the moment. But I will say, it's not bad, just a bit plain. Keep trying. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavous Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 The reason why I don't have any criticism is because there isn't anything really...good to go off of. The bass synth is terrible...it's too grinding and annoying and messy, especially with the other...instruments? The first synth is WAY too obtrusive and loud...it just grinds on the ears. I know there is percussion somewhere...I can feel it, but I can't hear it. That could be a good thing...but the way this mix works it's probably due to a bad drum kit and all the other instruments being too loud. There are a couple sections that have a softer synth...and thats not too bad, but everything else stays the same, taking away from the effect. Keeping the same instruments with different sections repeating kind of makes it get really repetative after a while... I think that's all I remember of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skrypnyk Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Pretty much what Chavous said. It also has no genre, no direction, no climax, no originality, no style. It is indeed a really really n00b attempt at a mix, but no one is perfect at the beginning. Simply practice more, try new things, learn new things, do new things. Learn more about the sequencer and mastering and production. And listen to how other songs on this site are re-arranged. Yours really sounds like a midi-rip. (or close to) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sole Signal Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Yeah, try a different synth instead of the Slayer. You'll get better as you practice more at mixing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turnip Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Tone down some of the midi sounds, and at 2:39 after that long of a intro its going to have to be intense and sound really good. Try to find something that can make the song unique as well, dont want to be to generic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spellmynamewithabang Posted December 12, 2006 Author Share Posted December 12, 2006 I've corrected the MIDI soundiness of the last one, better guitars, a better backbeat, and more of a consistency throughout. I was an idiot to think the mix was done. Here's the new WIP of it, retitled "Mute Velocity", and it's worlds better IMO. I've softened up the insanely bad sounds, the "warpy" pad intro is different(in a good way)and I've changed some other things around. NOTE: the ending is just me fooling around, that is not seriously part of the mix Click Enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chavous Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Alright...you say you've fixed it up..let's take a look see. Oh....I like the intro better. It's really pretty cool. Just a known fact: you aren't going to get a good guitar sound out of anything...I recommend going for a different sound. Perhaps some kind of synth. Just not simulated electric guitar, unless you spend hours upon hours tweaking it to sound real...trust me, you're better off going for a different sound this early in your remixing career. Also, whatever you are using for bass isn't really powerful...it's very hollow sounding. It doesn't fill in the space when it's alone. I suggest leaving that sound in there, but layering a bass below it. Ok... the guitar getting louder at 1:32...yea, didn't work. Alright...the drums need something a little more than just a kick. And the kick needs to be more powerful too. Try adding a hi-hat and a snare drum or a clap, just to move everything along and to fill out the sound field. From 1:51 on this just gets real repetative...add some parts, make it more interesting. Also, this song can use some extra background parts, it'll help back up the melody and fill out the sound. And again, try to toss up the melody a bit, make it more interesting. This is actually a big improvement...but you still have a ways to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spellmynamewithabang Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks, I've made a new WIP that ups the kick(still haven't fixed the bass and other problems BUT I'LL GET TO THAT) and the guitar is replaced with something much more befitting of the nice intro. Variation is there now, slight, but there. Near the end I'm working on making more of a melody. Still working on it, but I'm doing a much better job. I've just listened to the original, then the first WIP, and this is so much more pleasent. Here ya go. Link Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spellmynamewithabang Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Sorry for the double post, but here is a 6:06 long version of the last WIP. It's actually my fourth, I changed some things I didn't like from the third. cLiCk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spellmynamewithabang Posted December 14, 2006 Author Share Posted December 14, 2006 GRAH! TRIPLE POST! ARGH. I NEED FEEDBACK PEOPLE. The near final WIP. Here yaz go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nutritious Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 This sounds somewhat like a minimal mix you have going here - I'm not sure whether or not that's on purpose, but I think you need to fill up the soundscape a lot more. I think the lower end especially could use some help. The kick instrument you're using is very dry. This is my personal opinion, but I'd like to see it be a little less prominent in the mix, but have a fatter sound - probably on the lower end also. The lead synths in the first section are very subdued. You should bring these out more so the melody of the song is prominent. Judging by the eq, it sounds like your kick is peaking near 0, but the rest of the sounds aren't even close. Try bringing the kick down, maybe compressing it (more) and brining out the other sounds. A lot of this sounds very close to the original song. I'd recommend working on brining out more originality in your work. The high-end sounds around 3:02 started to hurt my ears, especially after the first 3 minutes of the song being relatively quiet. Consider working on the mastering of this track to prevent any ear-piercing noises. Also, I think I heard some clipping in that same section, so try to keep under the 0db mark. You've got a good start here, but I think you still have work to do. Try to get more variation in the piece going with dynamics and instruments to keep the listener interested. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gimgak Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Okay. I like the beginning it sounds pretty cool. When the kick comes in I think it's a bit too loud. You could probably turn it down some and add some more percussion. I'm feeling the organ-like instrument at 1:50. You may want differ up what it's playing cause it gets a little repetitive. It sounds really refreshing at 2:37. The sound is a lot more clear. When the melody comes in it sounds pretty good it's just a bit too loud. This part would sound awesome if you simply added some more percussion because that one kick is'nt doing much by itself. Play around with some claps, hi hats, etc. Gets a little repetitive near the ending but I think if you just added some variation and possibly more parts it could sound pretty good. Overall it's pretty decent. It's a lot better than the first WIP. The main things I would alter would be: *More Percussion *More variation on some parts (organ, ending) *Add some chords or something in the back to make it sound less empty (unless that's what you were going for) Otherwise fairly decent. Keep up the good work! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Strike911 Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 2:36 - sounds really REALLY grainy and like you're scraping the melody against a chalkboard... in fact the bass line in general is just too raw. It sounds like it's a preset of something that has no effects or anything. I'd suggest making the bass much smoother with some filters or just picking a different synth in the first place. The melody that comes in around :30 is really harsh and in general sounds really unpleasant. ITry differentiating your synths with a few smooth sounding synths and then use harsher ones for emphasis of certain parts. The part around 2:00 sounds the strongest out of the entire piece. I would also suggest (pleeease) dd in some hihats or cymbals or a snare. . .or all of them. Having more percussion besides that kick drum would sound infinitely better. And that bass at the end is just too harsh smooth it out, pick a different bass sound because (as stated above) its a bit grainy. That said, if you work on this a little more I think you'll have a better mix. ALSO, work on differentiating your melody or parts in the background from the midi, because this sounds almost identical to the midi with some samples thrown on top. I think if you'll keep working at it this will sound good., Add in some parts to throw in your own flair... little things that will keep the listners attention. I'll keep my eyes on this mix, but seriously, this will be good practice to learn to control your synthesizers. And again, I can not emphasze enough how much you need more percussion. a Snare drum and a hihat thrown in would increase the listenable-ness by ten imo. So yeah, add some cymbals and a snare (and hi hats) and then work on smoothing out some of the really harsh synths. I mean, don't go smoothing out all of them, but listen and determine what you like and what you don't then sork on it from there. Good luck on this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spellmynamewithabang Posted December 15, 2006 Author Share Posted December 15, 2006 ALright then, I'll get to work, thanks for the comments. The first thing I think I'll do is add some HiHats(and other percussion) as that seems to be the major thing on everyone's minds. All times when the main melody is played there is a different instrument ecept for part 2- you know what I mean by part two I'm sure. I love that because you think it's over and then it comes in with that, I love that part. Anyway, so maybe I should bring back the gutar for variation? It didn't sound THAT bad. It's a gem compared to the ones I had in the original. So maybe I could stretch part one out a bit, add some melodys there for some change, and lessen the volume of the main melody in part two as that can get really high pitched. KK, I'll get to working on that, next WIP will be in a while, because It will take me a bt longer to add the new parts. If you heard the 6:06 one, you'll notice I took out a part of that because I absolutely hated it and I think it sounds better this way overall, but meh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spellmynamewithabang Posted December 31, 2006 Author Share Posted December 31, 2006 Unfortunately, this mix is halted for now, due mostly to my brother deleting the .flp files. T_T However, one of my christmas presents was a keyboard, a damn good one as well, 61 key. This will make mixing a helluva lot easier, so expect some more stuff...better stuff, from me soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Turnip Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 Sorry to hear your mix got deleted, anyways since your just learning im sure your next will be a lot better. I think the reason this one lacks is you dont utilize turning points in the song very well and the tempo/volume doesnt change enough. It helps to look for places where the song climaxes or where instruments can change as opposed to just doing it all the way throughout the song. Its hard to explain but for a song like this just think of it as an orgasm; its got to flow and gradually get faster and faster to a climax, this is what the song lacks in my opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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