NieR / NieR: Automata; "Groove of the Ancients"; a ReMix of "Song of the Ancients"

[The Vodoú Queen]

This isn't the first remix from a game I've completed, however it is one I am more confident with:

https://www.bandlab.com/vodouqueenxiii/groove-of-the-ancients-jazz-funk-dance-mix

I decided I might as well throw myself into the deep-end (hope I'm doing it right), but yeah.

Any advice, pointers, or criticisms (good or bad) would be great.

Hoping to get something into submission at some point... I realize Cakewalk / BandLab is not on the usual list of DAWs to work with, by the way, but it's all I have to work with at the moment. I am extremely new to composing, arranging, mixing and mastering music on my own, (with nothing but me learning from YouTube vids, what bit of information I still have on music theory from years ago in band, and other tidbits on the internet). I'm practically a tadpole in a pond.

Don't want anyone to go easy on me despite all this, please.

Look forward to the comments. o/ Cheers!

Edited October 20, 2020 by The Vodoú Queen
Submitted

[The Vodoú Queen]

O.o

Hm... That's weird. Is it normal to have so many page views but no comments? ^^;

Hope the link / song is working.

[HoboKa]

Oh, can you share the source tune?  That might help give people context on the Remix qualifications / OCR bar stuff.   Also, I bumped this to the top by typing this out (obviously...man I am so effing slow today it isn't funny).  I hope you get the feedback you need  

Edited November 6, 2020 by HoboKa

[The Vodoú Queen]

Yeah I can try.

TY.

This is the full song (afaik):

And this is what I took from it, which is simply the acapella / mixdown version of the Devola and Popola lyrics to it:

I can no longer find the non-instrumental version of the song, but it's really complicated. People who played NieR would understand it better than I, but Song of the Ancients has about 3 different versions, and 3 different voices entwined, with Devola and Popola being the main ones, but they sing different lyrics. Fate and Atonement are the major instrumental versions of the song, unsure about the Hollow Dreams, but yeah... I used primarily the guitar beat and their singing as the basis of my remix.

I had submitted it a few weeks ago already, but any comments or criticisms would be helpful. I am always kind of working in a vacuum with any work I do, so only advice I have is primarily my own to work with, and I just started "producing music" around the beginning of September...so I know very little and am always trying to learn.

[Souperion]

A (really) late welcome to the composition scene! I'm not too familiar with the fine points of this kinda genre, but here goes.

On my first listen through, I felt like some of the transitions were a bit jarring as you shifted between the moods of the piece, such as it starting out with the ballad-esque intro followed by applause. That may be due to my lack of experienced appreciation for the style, though. I did enjoy the buildup from 0:28, and you used the brass quite nicely in that segment with the swells. There's a refreshing organic vibe in most of your piece.

The transition of 1:50 is a bit odd to me. You had a nice and energetic groove going up to it, then it seems to lose a bit of it's energy and fulness. Maybe I'm just missing the bass there. The vocal bit is just a tad shrill and loud, maybe try variating it's volume for that segment to keep it fresh (few measures at normal volume, a few lower, that kind of thing). Once it hits 2:35, though, it's really smooth and enjoyable. 

I feel like the transition of 3:25 to the vocals alone is a bit sudden. The part sounds good, but I think it needs something of a herald to the change, you know? A good cymbal crash with 2-4 beats of silence, for example, could punctuate the shift. Similar situation at 5:00, feels like it wants an exclamation point for the sudden silence. Try a few different effects, find your groove.

All in all, this is real entertaining song to listen to, nice work. Keep at it. I understand the feeling of working in a vacuum, hope other folks will be willing to give ya listen and some friendly direction. The best advice I can offer you is to keep mixing, share things here, and join the conversation. Comment and help other mixers, and hopefully they will reciprocate. Keep making this cool stuff.

[The Vodoú Queen]

Hey Souperion,

Thank you so, so much for your input. ♥

Ah yeah, I just had a listen to the places you've described and their associated issues. 1:50 (and it's similar transitions) were kind of inspired by '90s R&B, where they started mixing a bit of lo-fi / rap / hip-hop-style vinyl scratches and skips to separate segments of the song, especially when the tempo or beat had a change-up (e.g. groups like Toni, Tony, Tone and singers like Kool Moe Dee and Tone Loc used to do that in some of their songs. It's a very hip-hop thing to do, by comparison to the jazz / funk melody.) It can be jarring, especially if people aren't used to the genre, and it might warrant another look at it--either to remove it completely, or rework it somehow, if it doesn't fit. Loss of energy in the groove is a problem. Would have to mesh the bass line with it to keep that 'pumping' sensation going.

Yeah I do see what you mean about the vocal chops being a bit loud by comparison to the twins singing. Volume modulation... I'll keep that in mind if I am able to have another go at this piece, dependent on what the judges say about it, if it makes it to that point of the submission process.

Yeah the transitions to lone vocals in 3:25 & 5:00 were done purposefully, but I can sense--between what you've said and some comments I've had from others outside of OCR--that people want a continuation of 'grooviness', with no stops or silences. Unsure why, exactly (moreso cause I'm curious, not because I am doubting the critique.) I tried to envision a cymbal crash or tambourine mix-up for a full count before the vocals, and it seemed off. Might need to play with it as you say. Maybe something more subtle would work with it, rather than something loud and rambunctious (and I only say that because, in jazz, there's a lot of [sometimes very quick and short] high and low periods throughout a song. Sometimes there's silence except for the upright bass or some piano plucks. Sometimes a whole measure is quiet before the sax or trumpet builds up again.) Am trying to give the song 'breathing room' with highs and lows and pauses. It's a quandry... I need to revisit those sections.

Once again, thank you very much for your comments. I do look forward to more discourse, see what might need fixing, and how I can improve.

I'll try my hand at commenting and helping others, I just get a bit nervous about it because I don't want to seem mean or virulent in doing so. ^^;

[Souperion]

Happy to help. Again, I lack knowledge of the genre style, so find what fits best for the intended approach.

 

[HoboKa]

On 11/8/2020 at 3:12 PM, Souperion said:

 

I feel like the transition of 3:25 to the vocals alone is a bit sudden. The part sounds good, but I think it needs something of a herald to the change, you know? A good cymbal crash with 2-4 beats of silence, for example, could punctuate the shift. Similar situation at 5:00, feels like it wants an exclamation point for the sudden silence. Try a few different effects, find your groove.

 

@The Vodoú Queen If you do wind up needing new transition FX (and you're ready to blast a cap in frustration) gimme a holler.  Parenthesis not a requirement haha.  I'll need a MIDI to work with, since I'll be needing tempo data etc.

Edited November 17, 2020 by HoboKa