Liontamer Posted December 28, 2006 Share Posted December 28, 2006 Original Decision: http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=4589 Mixer Name: Bren Forum ID: Bren Game Remixed: Space Cadet Pinball Mix title: Braving Deep Space http://uhaweb.hartford.edu/bbennett/ocr/Space_Cadet_Pinball_Braving_Deep_Space_ReSubmission.mp3 Quite a few changes in this resub, including more arrangement, less clutter, better guitar lead, and a whole new section. Let me know what you all think. (any resemblance to other mixes is coincidental) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
big giant circles Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 i apologize for never having gotten around to the first one. your geetar lead has indeed improved. and though i don't remember quite exactly how the first attempt went, i can tell you've expanded on some ideas in this one. opening piano is pretty mechanical, and your snare is pretty dry and a little bland throughout. 2:14 was a little on the sour side. 1:46 right before was pretty cool. This is a fairly catchy little number. The main thing that holds this track back at this point is the drumwork. As far as I can tell, there's only a kick and snare at work for 95% of the song. The rhythm gets a little dull, and it's dry as burnt toast. The cymbal crashes are way too quiet, and they need to be EQ'd, or otherwise brought out so the upper frequencies aren't eaten alive before they have a chance to add to the music. Getting closer, but those drums need some work. Keep at it Bren. Don't get discouraged. Resubmit. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted January 12, 2007 Author Share Posted January 12, 2007 Space Cadet Pinball OSV - Pinball.mid Yeah, I gotta apologize too, I didn't have time to comment on this privately either when requested. The changes are relatively minor, like you said, so many of the issues that were there last time are still around. Opening piano is still too mechanical, as well as the guitar-synth sequencing. The drums are indeed too dry and plodding like BGC mentioned, thus not fleshing out the track as much as you need them to. I appreciated the attempt the change things up on the arrangement side at 1:45 for this version, but felt like the new interpretive writing ideas here weren't very cohesive, IMO. 2:13-2:33's section felt pretty weak. Sounds like you were trying to come up with something different for the sake of not being too repetitive, but the new writing wasn't melodically strong. Returned to some of the previous ideas at 2:34, heading back into the chorus at 2:52 with some additional writing put on top. Decent ideas here to create a semblance of contrast from the pervious iteration of the material, though it still felt a bit too similar. Ending at 4:10 probably should have trailed off longer; felt too abrupt IMO. I don't feel I gave the arrangement side enough credit last time around as far as personalization goes. You need to finesse the performance side of it a bit more so it doesn't sound so static, plus follow BGC's detailed criticisms on the drumwork. Definitely worth another try, and sorry again for not being more attentive to the PM box. Try to contact me or other judges on IRC for more realtime feedback if you need it, Brendan, in the event that you plan to work on it further. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zircon Posted January 16, 2007 Share Posted January 16, 2007 One thing I noticed not far into this mix was the loudness of the bass. Tone that down for sure, it's overriding the other parts of the mix. Also, EQ down the lows of the piano and EQ up the highs so it is brighter and cuts through a little more. I don't know how the old guitar was, but this one isn't too bad - I would try to bring it to the forefront a little more (again, with EQ) and maybe put some reverb on it. The drum samples here are mediocre, but they're not terribly problematic... the problem with the drums is that they are not sequenced in an interesting way. They're just sort of rhythmic placeholders. No energy. Put in more variations and fills, maybe try some more metal-style drumming patterns. That would make it a lot stronger. Maybe compressing them and upping the volume a bit would help too. The other instruments in the song seem OK. I feel like a lot of them are on the dull side but that may just be because of the bass pushing everything out. My guess is you're mixing on headphones? If this is the case, always remember that the bass will sound lower than it really is. You're probably overcompensating for it. As Larry said, some good arrangement ideas here, but could probably be tightened to be even stronger. Just keep trying new ideas and practicing... that's the best advice I can offer. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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