Emunator Posted November 13, 2022 Share Posted November 13, 2022 (Emunator note - please try to use simple language when evaluating, English is not the artist's first language. The production here is messy and could use feedback but there's some fun energy to the track that has some merit. It reminds me a lot of Ziwtra. I've also asked the artist for a new title for the arrangement.) hello, I'm French and don't speak English very well, this is my second submission, I hope my request is correct. Thanks Link to my submission : Re Mixer : Onirik Dreamer real name : Karim Ajroud email : website : https://onirikdreamer.com Link of vidéoclip : https://youtu.be/4OZryv4Nvbo?t=14 user id : 38210 Name of game arranged : Final Fantasy XI Name of original track : Airship (composed and arranged by Nobuo Uematsu) Name of my track : Airship Travel remix Additional information about game : Square-Enix 2002(PC) Link to the original soundtrack : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIMwDHvaxzg Your own comments about the mix : I love this piece and I wanted to add a more dynamic, cool and energic touch to it, i hope you like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted January 5, 2023 Share Posted January 5, 2023 This is indeed a fun approach, using EDM synths and an energetic groove to create something exciting. However, there are a few things about this that would need to be improved for us to accept it, IMO. Production. Many sounds conflict with each other and make things harder to hear. The biggest issue is the white noise that runs the whole time. From the seagulls, I assume it's supposed to be ocean swells, but it sounds more like a crowd to me. Either way it's too loud and muffles many other instruments, especially the pads. Also, the lead that starts at 1:15 and 1:53 is too similar in pitch and timbre to several other instruments and comes across as too quiet. 0:33 instroduces a rhythm instrument of some sort; I can't even tell if it's a piano or a guitar or what because it's so muffled. It's too conservative. The structure is mostly the same as the source track, measure for measure. The instrumentation is changed, but the notes are nearly the same, in the same order. The drums you added, which are a big part of why this is interesting as a remix, are too static. They're the same pattern for nearly the entire time they play, with only brief exceptions. It's fatiguing. "Fanfare" at the beginning sounds like a direct sample from one of the games. Square Enix doesn't allow us to accept arrangements with samples. I personally have had enough of "Fanfare" cameos to last me a lifetime, but if you really want to use it, you need to create your own version. So, good start, good ideas, but needs improvement in both production and arrangement. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted January 25, 2023 Share Posted January 25, 2023 love the fretless bass in the original. that's a fun entrance. MW called out the fanfare audio clip, so i'll just reinforce that. this is a fun idea. the original had a lot forward direction, so this is a natural translation to add drums and bright synths. overall there is a lot of 'noise' in the track, mostly added by mid-range synths and pads that need less reverb and more EQ work to make them fit. limiting the ocean drone sound will help a lot with that. the drums are very static (although the initial loop is fun), and need more variety to keep them interesting. the arrangement is also very conservative - there needs to be more variety to what you're presenting. you go there a bit around 2:10, but there needs to be more Karim and less original composer in this. this is neat, but it needs a lot of workshopping to pass. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkSim Posted February 6, 2023 Share Posted February 6, 2023 Great idea and energy to the track; it's a good starting point! The fanfare sample at the beginning is not allowed on OCReMix due to copyright by Square Enix. I think it's quite cliché though anyway, and you could probably remove it and have a more original intro. The effects and backing pads are overlapping each other, making things difficult to hear. It sounds too crowded. Removing the bird and ocean effects for the main verses and choruses will be a good start. The drum loop sounds good, but it's overused. Try to use different patterns to keep it interesting. I thought the drop in intensity from 2:22 was just a break, but then the track ended. You could use this section as a break, and add some original material here. After the break, build the energy back up for a final chorus. It's a simple way to add your own personality to the track, and still make it feel like a remix. Keep learning and improving, this is a great start! NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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