Emunator Posted June 3, 2023 Share Posted June 3, 2023 (edited) Contact Information Cyril the Wolf Connor Pelkey https://cyrilthewolf.com 14582 Submission Information Chrono Cross Scar's Worn by Time CHRONO CROSS ~Scars Left By Time~ I've been wanting to do a version of this tune for awhile now, but there's so many takes on this song I just couldn't figure it out. Eventually though I was trying to figure out what songs I wanted to perform for a set at MAGFest when I realized you could do an acoustic arrangement fairly convincingly and cover *most* of the parts. I did perform it live in that manner since it was just me and a guitar at MAGFest, but I wanted to get BOMBASTIC to really measure up to the original for the recording. I elected to fore-go extra strings and things and keep it pretty simple so the parts that were there could shine. This was also submitted to the Dwelling of Duels contest for January/December as well and I'm proud of how well everything clicked. Lyrics: The memories are flowing fast They're too fine for me Sands of time wearing away what walls that I had built So I let you in But Time was never meant for us It merely wanted our tears as we bear its scars... We pay the price of those who came before We pray that we won't be the same Devoured by the ones who sealed our fate Our world is just a frozen flame When all of the dew dries Ending the morning Do we condemn nature because nothing ever lasts? Cerulean our skies No sign of a warning We sighed at the future and just lived in our past When all of our dreams die Who is in mourning? We cry for the future but can't forgive our past Edited September 10, 2023 by Emunator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted June 15, 2023 Share Posted June 15, 2023 First little note thrown in at :03 seems sour but resolves OK enough; still, that definitely didn't start things off on the right foot. Very audible pop at :41 that can hopefully be fixed. Ooh, nice changeup at 1:02; very different character from the source tune, so that was cool and helped it stand apart from the original on a level besides adding in vocals. The vocals until 1:50 were mixed too quitely relative to the instrumental; not the easiest to understand, though there's no ding for that, since it's a style thing. Note from 2:01-2:02 was flat and should be autotuned, IMO, and probably could tweak some moments at 1:50 & 2:00. Great energy for the performances overall; I enjoyed Connor's vocal chorusing, and the higher notes in particular (e.g. 2:11) are so much fun. Loved the energy of 2:22's final chorus leading into the final big finish of wailing vocals. There are some moments where Connor could tweak some things to leave no holes in his game, and I'm sure other Js will have more insight on that front, but overall strong and fun stuff! YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted July 11, 2023 Share Posted July 11, 2023 I was a little concerned about the arrangement initially, since it seemed like a conservative cover with vocals added. Fortunately, then it got into metal. The arrangement is still conservative, but the performances and change to genre are sufficiently transformative for our standards. Now, let's talk about that vocal performance. It certainly doesn't lack in energy, but I think Larry did a disservice by pointing out a couple of off notes and flatness. It's off-key a lot, too many times to count. Some of them are attempts to be stylistic that are just ill-advised, since they slide across clashing notes, but many of them are just missing the note they should be hitting. Many of these are in the intro, where they're exposed and hard to ignore. Unfortunately, auto-tuning would also flatten out all of the intentional catches and glides, which could sound good. Larry's also right about the vocals being mixed too quietly, but it's throughout the whole thing and not just the intro, and I disagree that it's passable. The instrumental arrangement and performance are great, but the vocals aren't carrying it through. Connor, this isn't your first rodeo when it comes to vocals, but I notice that you've racked up a fair number of NO votes on this front in the past. You've pushed problematic vocals over the top with previous resubmissions, so I'm hoping you can do that again here. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted July 27, 2023 Share Posted July 27, 2023 very familiar with this theme ? i'll cover the vocals later. suffice to say, they're not in a postable state right now. so i'm reviewing for a resub going forward. i didn't care at all for the initial few notes in the electric - when you don't have any reference for the instrument, going with a scoopy note just sounds wrong. the acoustic part however sounds great. in the intro. there's a few fret blobs but nothing huge. there's an audio artifact at 0:41. the build into the second half is great, and i love the groove you chose there - obviously influenced by the original but unique to arrangements i've heard. there's other stuff going on besides the guitar and bass, but i can't really hear them. the break at 1:50 still sounds great in the acoustic. the solo section is a great idea, and i love the stop break. the last blow through is great and super energetic. so, onto the vocals. the initial presentation in the acoustic section sounds not good at all. i get you're going for a more traditional style earlier on - lots of flips and intentional air in the tone. however, it's nowhere near on pitch anywhere except the long sustains, and the sustains are even kind of sketchy. beyond that, you can't really hear anything you're saying because you don't pronounce any consonants. example: i cannot hear a single consonant on the third line of the song at all. i can't pick out the words even with the lyrics. lastly, this entire section is super quiet in the vocals relative to the acoustic. boost your formant by adding several db to around 2.5khz in the vocals at the least, that'll help some of the text to carry. please do consider recording this again with more air support - it sounds like someone singing slouched over. even worse, your timbre here doesn't sound good because of the lack of air support - so even if it's on-pitch, it's not going to sound like it since the tone just isn't there. the heavier section is more your style, and it shows. it's still very pitchy, especially on sustain starts (consider cutting the notes up in melodyne and repitching individual parts of the note so that you don't get the heavy shift of the pitch over time). i love the doubling of the vox, especially at 1:35 when the harmonies come in. you sound much more confident and on-pitch here. the break is the same as the beginning. you're like a quarter tone flat on the first sustain that's in your head voice. as soon as you give it some air support, it gets better (but the second higher sustain is also way flat). then you do the rob halford scream thing and it's freaking ridiculous. never going to get tired of that sound. the last section is both a touch too loud in the lead voice and balanced well in the backing parts, and it sounds awesome. and the sustain at the end up high is nuts, just nuts. it's clear this is the part of your repertoire you've tirelessly worked on over time. so! a lot of words to say, i love the arrangement pretty much across the board, and i hate every time you're not screaming at me. please redo the clean vocals so that they're more directed and have better air support and timbre. i'm happy to help with more nuance in the vocal corrections if you would like that. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 The vocal is indeed flat a lot of the time, and the vocal is mixed behind the soundscape rather than in front where it should be. The vocal needs to be louder, and I recommend making an EQ notch in all other instruments wherever that vocal fundamental is, no more than 1.5-2db, but that will help the vocal cut through. I prefer this method rather than boosting the vocal with EQ as sometimes that can make the vocal sound odd, but you can experiment with both methods. As for the pitchy-ness, I agree with Brad that Melodyne or similar could be used to address the most pitchy syllables and that would help a lot. I think Autotune would be too much and would not fit with this soundscape at all! Great arrangement and performances. Mixing and mastering are adequate. The vocals (mostly the softer ones over the acoustic sections) need to be pitch corrected, and mixed so they sit up front a bit more. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted September 10, 2023 Author Share Posted September 10, 2023 Just a quick cosign to close this out - the vocals registered as rough when I first listened to this in the inbox and upon further scrutiny, they need some TLC in terms of pitch correction and the way they sit in the mix. I agree that the vocals feel more natural during the heavy parts, and the last chorus sounds especially powerful when you start hitting the high notes. Other judges have already covered what needs to be done here. Additionally, I want to suggest revisiting the mixing on your drums/bass/guitar, right now it just doesn't seem to match the punch that you're going for. The kick feels like it's lacking punch and has too much bass, and the snare feels like it's had the high frequencies scooped out to the point where it barely cuts through, especially in the final section. It just feels weak. The rhythm guitars often feel like they get buried in the mix. Without hearing your stems, it sounds like you've got a lot of frequencies building up in the low-mids/mid ranges that is causing a lot of masking, and I'm not always sure that the instruments that should be standing out are actually cutting through. I would suggest looking at the dominant/fundamental frequencies for each of these instruments and making complementary EQ cuts/boosts depending on what you want to cut through. These can be relatively surgical and minimal, following the same advice that Chimpazilla suggested. This will do a world of good for the clarity of your mix. Not there yet, but there's a lot of promise and heart and I would really love to hear a resubmission! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts