Liontamer Posted August 22, 2023 Share Posted August 22, 2023 (edited) Contact Information Username: H36T UserID:37144 Website: https://www.youtube.com/@H36TRemasters Submission Information Arrangement Game: Final Fantasy VIII Name of Arrangement: Kiyomi Song Being Arranged: The Salt Flats Hello there, back with another submission from FFVIII. I really should have tried to go for the big album but oh well! Anywho, here is a song from a not so popular track, a track I don't even have a great love for in "The Salt Flats." I can't exactly recall why I started working on this song but it probably had to do with how minimal it is. Knowing myself, I saw a palette to work with and began to juxtapose my vision on top of it. What is that vision anyway? Well it brings me to the title Kiyomi. I'll spare you the Japanese lesson but Kiyome no Shio or Kiyomejio is the word for purifying salt. The pure part is also sometimes used in spelling Kiyomi--a girl's name in Japan. For me this song evolved into an image of earth, who I've named Kiyomi, and her being purified from all that's been done to her. Some sort of mystic, powerful force that triggers wide spread eradication of danger when it senses things have gone too far. Sort of invokes FFVII vibes rather than FFVIII. With that metaphor in mind the song goes through phases of a calm that has this essence of gloom. Then erupting into different phases of energy and finally ending on a feeling that is a bit uncertain as to how things will turn out. I think trying to use different instruments while remaining cohesive was probably the hardest part. I've had some feedback about some funky chords here and there but I couldn't think of alternatives and I liked it personally so I stuck with that as well. Other than that, this was a journey for me to make and I'm curious if I was able to send people on one as well. Until next time! Harlem, out! Edited January 7 by Emunator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liontamer Posted August 22, 2023 Author Share Posted August 22, 2023 Opens up ultra-conservatively but tastefully presented; I'd argue that if it stays like that, there should be more aspects of interpretation involved, but we'll see where it goes. Something about the mixing of the vocals is not working here either; they sound too muffled, which starts to be more noticeable around :58, and is very apparent by 1:08; what happened to any high-end sharpness? I'm going to ignore the ESL nature of the sampled vocals' lyrics; others hearing non-native vocalists in other language may harp on that, but not do so for languages they don't know. The tone of the vocals is really nice though, and I really liked that flourish from 2:01-2:25, along with the subtle countermelodic writing underneath it (not the staccato strings). The drums brought at 1:45 sounded so dry compared to the rest of the instrumentation though; they felt very stapled on top with 0 synergy. Bowed strings underlying the vocals from 2:01-2:50 (then back again from 3:15-3:43) were bone dry and exposed the fakeness of the sample; need some wetness to the sound to give it some body and mitigate the realism issues. Electric guitar first used from 2:25-2:51 had a decent tone, but very mechanical timing that hugely exposed the sample and broke the immersion; same with the grungier guitar from 3:15-3:42, and the guitar leading from 3:42-4:00, it all sounded way too rigid with the timing. Even the brief choir vox at 4:07, the way the notes changed sounded very mechanical. The strings ending it at 4:15 were more emotive though. I really enjoy the concept; this presentation isn't as cohesive as others. There's too many parts in place where the production TLC hasn't been applied to glue these parts together as a unified-sounding performance; they often didn't sound like they were sharing the same space; some parts were more spacious and distant, others upfront and dry, and then we had rigid timing with some parts, as the guitar and vox timing toward the end should be better humanized. If you can refine several of these smaller issues that are adding up, I can get behind it; great potential here and I do enjoy it more and more as I loop it. This feels like a situation where the arrangement is in place and just needs the final production and mixing polish; you may need some time away from it to have fresh ears on how the parts sound, but, no matter what, I'd say don't give up on it; I definitely want to see this posted in some form. NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prophetik music Posted September 13, 2023 Share Posted September 13, 2023 intro is similar to original but slightly modified. vocals indeed don't sound like they're in the same space as the original, and the chords at 0:52 really don't sound great. the instrumentation across the board in this intro section sounds pretty low-poly, and the vocals (especially when they go up higher) just don't sound good next to them. the vox is also like 2x too loud which doesn't help at all. the bass especially sounds pretty fake. 1:58 is a huge shift in style. vocals are still very loud here, drowning out everything else you might hear, and later the lead guitar does the same thing, just crushingly loud. there's strings and bass and other stuff behind it but i can't really hear it at all. there's a great break at 2:51 that has SC1 terran vibes for a few seconds, and eventually the guitar comes back in at 3:15 and it's more intense. that section sounds great since it's way better balanced. there's some setpiece swells and sfx, and this builds to a high note at 4:01 that fades, alongside some outro chords. i don't think this is above the bar. i think the arrangement concepts are neat but not 100% fleshed out - certainly the second half has a lot more going on and more interpretation than the first half, which felt very much like a sound upgrade with vox layered on top. i think the mixing across the board is very unbalanced, with lead elements waaaaay too loud compared to backing elements. the old trick of listening to tracks at different volumes and seeing what sticks out would be very useful here. NO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindWanderer Posted September 26, 2023 Share Posted September 26, 2023 I'm just not hearing the major issues described above. Yeah, some of the instruments are pretty mechanical; the staccato strings are particularly bad. But I don't expect orchestral realism in a piece like this. I'm not finding the vocals too loud for a vocal piece, but the enunciation is pretty poor; I didn't even realize until my second listen that it's in English. I think the arrangement is perfectly sufficient as well. I'm not the biggest fan of the change in genre at the halfway point, but even the first half has enough orchestration going on to pass our standards of personalization. It's creative and entertaining. YES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chimpazilla Posted December 19, 2023 Share Posted December 19, 2023 I love this arrangement, and the vocals are a wonderful addition and they make this interpretation of this source so completely unique. I think the instrumentation is great. I love the total vibe change at 1:58. My issue is the mixing of the vocals and also the guitar when it is playing lead. The vocals are too loud when they are more exposed such as when they first appear at 0:23. The vocal is totally in my face for a couple of reasons. The most obvious reason is the vocal is too loud when it is exposed. (When other instrumentation accompanies the vocal, the volume seems more reasonable). The other reason is that the vocal tends to be heavy on mid-lows. In the intro, there is heavy emphasis from 250-500Hz and it feels uncomfortable. Also, the reverb on the vocal needs to be low-cut, the reverb lows are adding to the over-emphasis of the lows in the vocal stem. The male vocal is also too loud and has the same mid-low issue. At 2:15 the female vocal is singing a very low note to accompany the male vocal, adding to the effect. The lead guitar at 2:25 is also too loud and wow the lows are emphasized. The guitar playing is awesome, but it is drowning out the backing elements nearly completely. I wonder how much this mid-low problem has to do with the lows in the reverb; perhaps simply low-cutting the reverbs across the board will help (along with balancing the volumes of all leads against the backing elements). I think this is a lovely arrangement with well-performed guitars and vocals. Mastering seems fine. But it needs another pass on the mixing and volume-balancing of the leads (guitars and vocals) against the rest of the soundscape. That'll do it for me! NO (resubmit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emunator Posted January 7 Share Posted January 7 On 12/19/2023 at 1:25 PM, Chimpazilla said: I love this arrangement, and the vocals are a wonderful addition and they make this interpretation of this source so completely unique. I think the instrumentation is great. I love the total vibe change at 1:58. My issue is the mixing of the vocals and also the guitar when it is playing lead. The vocals are too loud when they are more exposed such as when they first appear at 0:23. The vocal is totally in my face for a couple of reasons. The most obvious reason is the vocal is too loud when it is exposed. (When other instrumentation accompanies the vocal, the volume seems more reasonable). The other reason is that the vocal tends to be heavy on mid-lows. In the intro, there is heavy emphasis from 250-500Hz and it feels uncomfortable. Also, the reverb on the vocal needs to be low-cut, the reverb lows are adding to the over-emphasis of the lows in the vocal stem. The male vocal is also too loud and has the same mid-low issue. At 2:15 the female vocal is singing a very low note to accompany the male vocal, adding to the effect. The lead guitar at 2:25 is also too loud and wow the lows are emphasized. The guitar playing is awesome, but it is drowning out the backing elements nearly completely. I wonder how much this mid-low problem has to do with the lows in the reverb; perhaps simply low-cutting the reverbs across the board will help (along with balancing the volumes of all leads against the backing elements). I think this is a lovely arrangement with well-performed guitars and vocals. Mastering seems fine. But it needs another pass on the mixing and volume-balancing of the leads (guitars and vocals) against the rest of the soundscape. That'll do it for me! NO (resubmit) 100% this. There's so many great ideas brought to the table by the arrangement, but the mixing feels like a first pass because of frequency buildup in certain low-mid ranges that is creating an unpleasant balance in the mix. Additionally, I'll also cosign that the level of certain lead instruments/vocals is causing them to sound disjointed from the rest of the soundscape, which could possibly be exacerbated by reverb levels not being dialed in appropriately across your instruments. The only other thing I'll add is that the sweep up around the 2 minute mark didn't quite hit the mark for me in terms of the way it cut off abruptly. I think if you play with your volume envelopes on your sample or layer in something with a bit more of a tail, it could be more effective. This is more of a personal suggestion than anything and certainly not a dealbreaker. Great concept and a lot of daring ideas here - just a few technical miscues that you should be able to iron out with little problem. Let's see this again! NO (resubmit!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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