*NO* Donkey Kong Country 2 'Take Me Away' *RESUB*

[Jillian Aversa]

Hiya Jill

I've been working on "Take Me Away" and fixed up the vocals and some other things, and I think I'm ready to resubmit it.

I was looking at the original Judge Decisions and you typed huge text to get me to resubmit, so I'm sending you the pm

Here's a link to the new file:

And a link to the old file if someone wants to compare:

And here's a link to the original decisions:

http://www.ocremix.org/forums/showthread.php?t=4708

Also an extra comment to one of Larry's statements. He commented on some of the harmonizations being noticeably off in some places (mainly the end), but that was an element I chose to go for to kinda give the feeling that the lyrics were a recurring thought. Nevertheless, I minimized them and only left a few in there.

Thanks for your time

-Mike

[Liontamer]

http://snesmusic.org/v2/download.php?spcNow=dkq - "In a Snow-Bound Land" (dkq-25.spc)

Why do the solitary portions of the vocals remind me of old Michael Jackson stuff? Weird. In any case, this was fairly close last time, and I felt the revisions here were enough to make this click more than enough for the pass. A little rough around the edges, but a solid end-result.

Thanks for tweaking the production on that plucked string synth at :10. It has more body to it and sits much better in the soundfield, complimenting the rest of the instrumentation more effectively the entire way.

Good job removing those low vocals in the bridge (e.g. :55 & 2:35, "All the feeling's gone"/"Can you hear the song") that seemed out of your range.

Thanks a lot for reexamining the balance and synchronization of the chorus's harmonized lines. I hope it didn't seem like a creative sacrifice, because the end result is defintely a more solid-sounding delivery. The track ended fine, but there was no clean fadeout, with the track cutting off a bit abruptly at 4:30; not a big deal, but a fadeout fix would be nice.

Great production tweaks here to give this track the TLC it needed. Mike continues with his ambitious vocal tracks with another strong effort. Glad this was resubbed.

YES

[Jillian Aversa]

Okay, I can tell you did some work on this resubmission. Production sounds crisper in general, the lead vocals are more in tune, and you got rid of those low octave "All the feeling's gone" echoes. Good... so far.

The harmonies in both choruses (1:05 and 2:47) are still very flat, on the words "Take me away." What's strange is that the *higher* part of the harmony during that second chorus ("Maybe then I'll live again") are perfectly in tune. So I guess it's not really a key thing... just gotta listen more carefully and do as many takes as you can tolerate until 1:02.

Now, you're gonna hate me for this (and believe me, I'm kicking myself over it), but there were a lot of timing issues that I didn't notice the first time through. Larry touched on it a little bit in the original decision, but only regarding the harmonies... which are still off at 1:25!!! I'm not sure why you just thanked him for fixing them, Larries, cuz they ain't fixed.

Anyway, what I'm seeing now– and it's present in both versions– are some serious synchronization problems in both of the choruses, particularly the first one at 1:05. The echoey "cah" sound effect gets way out of time with the bass and accoustic strumming... usually way behind the beat, but occasionally early. It sounds like you tried to line it up individually each time, but unsuccessfully. Even after the chorus finishes, and you have the little interlude from 1:47 to 2:03, the bass, strumming, and lead music boxy thing don't line up. Again, these timing issues are present in both choruses, just more noticeably in the first one.

Finally, and this is somewhat minor, but the vocal doubling at the end is a little distracting to me, because they don't quite mesh. Not sure why you chose to do that, but it's your call. Sucks because you know how much I adore this arrangement, but the tuning and timing issues still need to be resolved before I can comfortably pass this. Keep at it, Darangen! Feel free to IM me any time if you want quick feedback.

NO RESUBMIT!

[Liontamer]

Larry touched on it a little bit in the original decision, but only regarding the harmonies... which are still off at 1:25!!! I'm not sure why you just thanked him for fixing them, Larries, cuz they ain't fixed.

What I picked up from the side-by-side comparison is that the harmonization is the same, but the balance between the different voices is adjusted and placed less emphasis on the "off" parts. I'm cool with it.

[Vig]

I did't hear the original version, so i'm coming in dry, and i'm sure as hell not gonna bother listening to the first version

So we all know the vocal intonation is really bad. It's really distracting. Now don't take it personally; everyone's familiar with my vocal prowess, but there are flat notes, more irritating, notes you miss then slide up to, and worst of all, really out of tune harmonies.

Jill is right that there are some serious timing issues. It sort of sounds like you're speeding up and slowing down at random points. However this problem is secondary to me.

fix the vooocals first.

NO

[zykO]

yes, the vocals are a big issue. for such a beautifully arranged and performed track, the vocals are awkward. i normally have no problem with goofy intonation on vocals as i do it in my own music quite a lot but when the chorus is consistently flat on the harmony, it sort of effectively takes the wind out of the sails.

i know you can sing better than this so i'm kind of surprised. it sorta is telling me that this is entirely intentional. in which case, i commend you for being daring enough to do it. reminds me a bit of radiohead as thom yorke loves to do that but i'm not sure if this works here.

the rest of this is absolutely gorgeous. you are an amazing musician, friend. i envy your ability to be serene. it is touching regardless of the circumstance under which i listen. granted it is a gloomy rainy day outside and this is gold but still.

as for the judgement. my personal bias is that the vocals don't detract from the quality of the piece. i am obligated as a judge to uphold the standard of the site (which has been hard on me and my same stylistic choices in the past so, i have to be consistent).

fix the synchronization and the harmonies on the chorus and you'll have yourself a winner.

NO

[big giant circles]

Very pretty song. Vocals could use a little pitch correction--you might consider automating the semitones--I've done it before in FL. Some people just don't do all that well under the pressure of that little red record button. I feel I have the same issues a lot whenever I try to record my voice. At any rate, your voice is constantly struggling with falling flat. It's brutally apparant to me for the better part of the track. Here's some specifics:

0:28 - "fading away..."

0:39 - "...side..."

0:44 - beginning of the word "warmth"

0:57 - "all"

1:04 - the entire chorus is pretty off-key, almost. harmonies, too, not just the melody.

anyway, there's 5 examples in just the first minute; bottom line is that as pretty as this song is, the pitch needs to be centered on the vox. I'm not sure if you have individual tracks for all the vocal parts, but if you do, you might want to run them through a tuner to see exactly which parts need the most attention. Also, I don't mind sometimes, depending on certain other factors, but this one is just swimming in reverb. I don't mind a lot, but this has a ton. Might want to trim that back just a fuzz.

Arrangement is fairly straightforward and doesn't deviate too much melodically, but I suppose it's harder to walk too far from the original when you're singing it. At any rate, either keep working on the vocals, or otherwise cheat and manually adjust the tuning yourself I won't think any less of you, but then again, I'm a cheater too

NO