LagunaCloud Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 I'm a new mixer and I've been working on Super Mario RPG Remix and I thought I got it to perfection but it was rejected, The link to it can be found here http://www.heartsteps.com/remix/Super_Mario_RPG_ToadofskysBattle.mp3 Please any help would be fantastic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiowar Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 oo smrpg yay hmm unless you are steve reich you should not have such heavy repetition. i'm gonna go by section here. from 0:00 to 0:32 you basically have a piano repeating a very small bit of the source with strings repeating the same two chords over and over. one thing this mix has going for it is the polyphony; i would suggest writing a more creative string part to emphasize that, as well as using more than the same 1 bar of the source over constantly. 0:33 to 1:01 has most of the same problems, only now you have introduced rock drums into an orchestral arrangement...doesn't work here at all. also, the part writing for the instruments is very noticeably amateurish. same problem with you going back and forth between two chords and maybe 10 notes of melody. drum "solo" 1:02 to 1:11 is ridiculously out of place, not to mention if you're going to include a drum solo then at least throw in some fills (it really should be one big fill anyways) instead of looping the same 1 bar pattern. 1:12 to 1:40 is just a repeat of the previous section, no new ideas introduced. that is not necessarily wrong, but in the case of this song it is. key change at 1:41 to 2:08 is long overdue...unfortunately no new ideas introduced here either, and really a key change is the best place to do that finally at 2:10 something new, but you quickly return to the old loop. and then it goes to the outro. the short version of all that is you are not using enough of the source, and the little bit that you do use is used far too often. what i'd recommend is that you work on creating a more engaging and dynamic piece with more polyphony and melodic variation (if you plan on doing this sort of minimalist-orchestral style). i'd recommend looking at some of the wingless' remixes like aphrodite oceanus or pearlsong for ideas on how to take a relatively short musical idea and expand it into a full song. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skrypnyk Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Perfection? Really now... While nothing comes off as insanely wrong (aside from minor clipping here and there), there's absolutely nothing outstanding, nothing impressive, nothing worth noting, nothing that stands out in this mix. You have what sound like MIDI instruments with no TLC on anything, you have the same basic melody playing for pretty much the 3 minutes, and the mastering could have been better. This is basically a 'listen to it once, then forget about it' mix. There's nothing in it that would really want someone to listen to it again. There's nothing in it that says 'This is a LagunaCloud remix'. This is like plan old white rice that went bad. Sorry to sound harsh, but on a big ol painting campus, this is but a small black spot sitting in the corner. You have to do more, be more creative, experiment, etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 16, 2007 Author Share Posted July 16, 2007 Thanks for the tips, I will continue to improve it and post my progress. As for apologizing for being harsh, don't. Brute honesty is how I see my faults and how I improve. Thanks again for the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Haha, I wish I could feel the same way as you Laguna. Then again I guess that in the real world there isn't really constructive criticism. It's all the same, the only difference is if it helps you or not. Harsh eh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiowar Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 Then again I guess that in the real world there isn't really constructive criticism. It's all the same, the only difference is if it helps you or not. uhh yeah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted July 16, 2007 Share Posted July 16, 2007 uhh yeah shhh, just smile and nod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 haha you guys rock I hope you know that, Oh if you're interested I've reworked the intro and here it is http://www.heartsteps.com/remix/intro.mp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 It's orgasmic ^_~, though the bass drum (if that's what it is sounds kinda like it died two weeks ago ) Over all, I can imagine as if this is cool intro is a precursor to a techno beat or something of the like lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Radiowar Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 hmm well the trumpet sound you're using is not a very good sample, so i'd work on masking that with some reverb and maybe some eq to give it more treble. also it's way too loud. try using some panning on it. the string part is much better and i noticed a couple little changes to the piano but it is still too repetitive. the best way to fix that would be to make the strings go to different chords other than the I and V chords. try adding the VI and IV chords (a minor and F major in this case). it's a really cliche progression but it's less so than going back and forth between C and G. this way you can keep your repeating piano (though i wouldn't) but keep the song interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Oo, oo OR you could use the "chop" feature (if you use FL) and put the piano notes in appregios (or however you spell that word) or a like he said, add in a minor chord to mix things up. I find it easier that way, btw what piano sample do you use? FL keys suck BTW these are just ideas you probably shouldn't do everything that I say , cuz I'm a newb at this stuff so yeah. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 hmm well the trumpet sound you're using is not a very good sample, so i'd work on masking that with some reverb and maybe some eq to give it more treble. also it's way too loud. try using some panning on it.the string part is much better and i noticed a couple little changes to the piano but it is still too repetitive. the best way to fix that would be to make the strings go to different chords other than the I and V chords. try adding the VI and IV chords (a minor and F major in this case). it's a really cliche progression but it's less so than going back and forth between C and G. this way you can keep your repeating piano (though i wouldn't) but keep the song interesting. I see what you're saying but it's still too repetitive and unintersting I think I need to either come up with a good piano bass or remove it altogether and let the strings be the bass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 Oo, oo OR you could use the "chop" feature (if you use FL) and put the piano notes in appregios (or however you spell that word) or a like he said, add in a minor chord to mix things up. I find it easier that way, btw what piano sample do you use? FL keys suck BTW these are just ideas you probably shouldn't do everything that I say , cuz I'm a newb at this stuff so yeah. yeah, um I either sample them myself, or use my Edirol whatever ends with the better sound Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 yeah, um I either sample them myself, or use my Edirol whatever ends with the better sound Is Edirol a generator or a sample package :S? Like .sf2 or what have you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 Edirol is a built in synthesizer to my music mixing program Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HoboKa Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Edirol is a built in synthesizer to my music mixing program aww damn k, was nice chatting with you, will probably be on tomorrow. Ciao. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnappleMan Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Whoa! How the hell did this get rejected, it's perfection! All you did was slow the song down and play it with really shitty GM instruments. Not bashing GM though, you can make a great song using GM sounds if you know how to use MIDI properly and can mix the tracks well afterwards. Anyway, your song has no structure, it's a repetitive loop that just adds something "new" the next time it comes around. Once again there's the problem of not knowing what makes the original song good. It's supposed to be an up-tempo, energetic song. You slowing it down SOUNDS like a slowed down version of the song, to reduce the tempo properly, unlike what you did, you're supposed to add more to the song to make use of the extra time. If you want to keep it at this speed, then you have to consider adding to the arrangement. The easiest way to start is by adding more rhythm to the song, the drum track is too boring, spice it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 all right after alot of wasted time trying to get this to upload I finally got it here's the link to the updated intro http://www.heartsteps.com/remix/a/intro.mp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 Whoa! How the hell did this get rejected, it's perfection!All you did was slow the song down and play it with really shitty GM instruments. Not bashing GM though, you can make a great song using GM sounds if you know how to use MIDI properly and can mix the tracks well afterwards. Anyway, your song has no structure, it's a repetitive loop that just adds something "new" the next time it comes around. Once again there's the problem of not knowing what makes the original song good. It's supposed to be an up-tempo, energetic song. You slowing it down SOUNDS like a slowed down version of the song, to reduce the tempo properly, unlike what you did, you're supposed to add more to the song to make use of the extra time. If you want to keep it at this speed, then you have to consider adding to the arrangement. The easiest way to start is by adding more rhythm to the song, the drum track is too boring, spice it up. Thanks for your thoughts. I'm working on improving it alot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanthos Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Edirol is a built in synthesizer to my music mixing program Edirol is a brand name. They're a child company of Roland and make things like audio interfaces (I've got one of theirs) and low-quality monitors. LagunaCloud is probably talking about a particular synthesizer, perhaps this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dannthr Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Make a point with your music Why don't you try to describe what you're trying to express with this remix? What does the original theme mean to you? What's cool about it, what isn't? Let us see the original theme through YOUR eyes (or ears). Some ideas? The theme is inanely repetative, try spicing it up with some more variation, harmonic and otherwise. Melodic variation. Play with it, etc. Seriously, my questions aren't rhetorical. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanthos Posted July 17, 2007 Share Posted July 17, 2007 Don't ever lose sight of musicality when you're remixing. It doesn't matter if you've got amazing technical skills as a producer and you do the best job possible mastering. If your music doesn't go anywhere, if it doesn't show off your musicality, it won't likely be accepted. I suggest thinking like you're in a studio. Pay some attention to effects, eq, and so on early on (particularly with balancing the various instruments in your piece); the kind of stuff you'll likely do naturally. But don't worry as much about getting an instrument to sound "just right" from a production perspective; get the right notes down, played with the right phrasings and articulations. Then do the production work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 17, 2007 Author Share Posted July 17, 2007 Make a point with your music Why don't you try to describe what you're trying to express with this remix? What does the original theme mean to you? What's cool about it, what isn't? Let us see the original theme through YOUR eyes (or ears). Some ideas? The theme is inanely repetative, try spicing it up with some more variation, harmonic and otherwise. Melodic variation. Play with it, etc. Seriously, my questions aren't rhetorical. Wow you're idea has seriously helped me, it has been a very long time since I actually heard the original. Going back and listening to it has given me some inspiration on what to do next thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LagunaCloud Posted July 18, 2007 Author Share Posted July 18, 2007 Man I hate multi posting, but I just updated my mix, not at all close to being done and I know that some of the instruments are not good but that will be fixed when it's all said and done. I just want some opinions, comments or complaints...I'll take them all http://www.heartsteps.com/remix/a/intro.mp3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambient Posted July 19, 2007 Share Posted July 19, 2007 Regardless of arrangement, this doesn't sound any better than a midi file would. The WIP is too short, and doesn't go anywhere arrangement-wise. If you are making a midi file first, before you drop it in some program and use good samples, its fine. But then, I think, we need to hear something more substantial in the arrangement department before anyone here can really give you constructive advice. On the other hand, if these are the best quality instruments you can get, I would start looking for something better right now. Like I said before, this sounds just like a midi file would, not any better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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