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By Chimpazilla · Posted
That's an intense source to do a remix of! Very hectic and wild. The remix is much tamer. I like the idea of doing this as an EDM or trance mix. Right away I can tell that this artist is fairly new at producing. But, everyone starts somewhere! I remember being at this stage myself, very well. I'm not going to go into an extensive critique; this track as the other two judges have mentioned will do better by going through our workshop process either on OCR's forum or in our Discord server workshop channels. There's a lot to learn here. The guys above me have given some great advice already, and you'll get more of that in the workshop and they can give you feedback in realtime as you progress, without having to wait through our judging queue. Good luck, keep at it and hang in there! NO -
By mmpneosync · Posted
Fantastic remix, but something's up with the MP3 download - at 0:50 it skips ahead a few seconds. -
Begins with a few percussion hits and then comes the source's intro. Right away this sounds a little off, the bass is playing static E notes while the melody (covering the higher guitar part from the source) is on C# minor. Now, E is part of the C# minor scale so it's not like it's dissonant but it sounds odd, you'd generally have the bass on the root for a riff like this (like the source does). It's of course valid to have a different approach but it needs to lead somewhere otherwise it just feels wrong. The percussion pattern is also fairly strange, with "snare" hits on 2-3-4 but not on 1, creating a beat that's not easy to follow. At 0:27 we move into a higher pace for the second part of the initial melody. The percussion pattern is even weirder than before, it's not really fitting for any kind of EDM mood. This section continues for a bit, following the source's melodies until we reach the next part of the source at 1:01. Similarly to the intro, the bass is playing D# notes that don't really fit the melodies on top. At 1:05 we get a few melodies from the source but one of them seems to have wrong notes (the one starting at 1:08 features a regular D which doesn't fit the key this cover has attempted to be in). 1:11 has the arpeggio section of the source, which inexplicably keeps the upbeat rhytm. Finally, we move to the last section from the source. The note at 1:29 (A#) seems unfitting. Finally, at 1:49 the track simply cuts-off, without a real ending. I don't want to sound mean while saying this but this cover is way below the bar at the moment. On production, the synth samples used are all very simplistic, we usually ask for a more modern sound. Percussion samples are also simplistic but, more importantly, unfitting. The "clap" you used for snare won't really work on a proper arrangement. On arrangement there are several issues. First is the fact that the bass and melodies rarely fit well together. Second is the fact that there's several wrong notes in the arrangement. I get the feeling you got hold of some MIDI files of the original and kinda slapped them together haphazardly, not taking proper care of keeping everything on the same key, which is why the move to C# minor caught me off guard at the intro, since the original is on F minor. Third is the percussion writing, if you want to make trance or any form of EDM you need a beat that's steady and easy to follow, a snare hitting on basically every quarter or 8th note is not that. Finally, for OCR standards we ask for more interpretation, this track was very conservative in regards to source usage. As prophetik said, you should give the Discord workshop a go and ask for help there, especially regarding basic arranging and production tips. NO
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