Rofl thanks Gario - that is a LOT more than I expected for a response from other ppl. A little disheartening too, I must say. Brutally honest IS better than sugar coating stuff then having the J's vomit on my works though.
And are you forreals that the DJ Prez said, "Yo dawg, go critique that nub, HoboKa"?? (or something on that line) or are you just messing with me? lol
Over all though, this seems real daunting - I feel that just working on new compositions and getting my production skills up is better than trying to salvage this piece, as you make it sound that it's a pretty awful mess. It'd help if I had decent samples too...not saying that you can't do without them (as we all know that DarkeSword uses soundfonts mainly - and he's a pro at EQ)
But I shall TRY to polish it up and do some of your suggestions. Thanks for the comments man