Really promising mix - great source tune and it has a lot of potential. I'm new to the forums but wanna get involved so I'll give you some feedback, for what it's worth!
Soon as I put this on the chord progression reminded me of Eminem's "Kill You" track, so I sort of had Eminem rapping along in my head until the bass and vox pad came in at 0:20... I love that blip at 0:12 as well.
The track builds nicely from here, the vox pads are reminiscent of Perfect Dark, and then when the strings come in at 0:38 I could be playing Jet Force Gemini, walking around a huge spaceship. I seriously love this section, and am a little disappointed at 0:55 when it drops back down again - I was expecting it to grow into something even bigger. Maybe some elaboration would work well here?
1:33 is brilliant, but I also agree with previous posters in that it needs more urgency from this point. Maybe add another layer of industrial drums to give it more force? A tempo change? I reckon a bit more expansion before the cranking up and then go nuts after that part would make this track stand out.
1:52 - not sure the flute is the right choice of instrument here. It's a very industrial sounding tune and the flute's almost too "smooth", and a little quiet. Try beefing up the lead at 2:20 too, again it seems a little too quiet. That said, the lead at 3:04 is worth waiting for and I'd like to hear a bit more of it.
Hope I don't sound too critical, keep working on this track as you've got a great foundation here. Looking forward to hearing more