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Hemophiliac

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Everything posted by Hemophiliac

  1. There is so much charm and fun in this arrangement. Whimsy and joy in the winds, grandeur in the strings, and majesty in the brass. I can really imagine this from the point of view of a child walking on the beach to only be astonished by seeing large cruise ships docked along the shore. Absolutely lovely and beautiful. Well done!
  2. I'm so glad you decided to resub this track, it's awesome! That breakdown video is great too. Very curious to find out what the right panned transition sound at 0:56 is. In a way, this feels like some of zircon's work with the big beat and guitar underlying progression, fantastic. Keep subbing more stuff!
  3. Thoughts on the round 1 entries: Red Harvest vs. Wir Sind Team Peitsche: This one was really close but in the end it came down to production execution. Both arrangements were very good and mashed up the sources in very creative ways. I really liked the last section of Wir Sind Team Peitsche with the group chanting. That was a great way to bring everyone together onto it. A couple specific notes on Wir Sind Team Peitsche. The brass in the first 0:36-0:58 is very "blatty". Would like to hear more humanization on that section for the orchestral samples. 1:53-2:32, I didn't even notice there was chiptune elements here until multiple listens. Red Harvest: 0:41-0:50 the melody for Brinstar here is very washed out, like when you turn the wet on reverb all the way up and dry all the way down. IMO it got very buried here. Adrift Eternal vs. Back in Cold Blood (Dracula Flow): Difficult to vote for a "joke" track. When I say that I mean, the track was for laughs rather then to be taken very seriously. Back in Cold Blood: The production on the background work is pretty clean and stands on it's own pretty well. I know I mentioned it on voice to you, but changing to the Alucard audio at 3:18 of the way through was a good choice to keep the track moving forward and preventing the Dracula Flow bit from being stale. Good call on the change. Some percussive elements ping-ponging left/right are a little disorienting. Adrift Eternal: This is starting to sound like the modus operandi of Emunator at this point. I have no idea who contributed what on this. Electronic cinematic take on both themes seamlessly transitions back and forth between sources. Very well done. At 4:23 it's suddenly major for some reason did feel a little odd, but I can understand wanting to change the color at the end of the piece to bring more energy. The Heart of Atlantis vs. No Castle for Old Belmonts: This was the toughest call of the 3 pairs. For me I chose No Castle for Old Belmonts due to how the melody was interpreted, used, and embellished upon. Both had good production, and it came down to arrangement/usage. The Heart of Atlantis: The organ echoes of the guitar such as at 2:07 and 2:43 were a little awkward for having close intervals in a low register, makes them get harmonically muddy. No Castle for Old Belmonts: I don't know why, with the title I was expecting this to be country song-like "Take me home country roads". The bass is a little muddy, sounds like someone humming doubling the bass in the first ~minute or so. Not sure if that is a production issue or recording thing. The guitar playing from 2:57 to the end is fantastic and I absolutely love the embellishment here. Whip sfx towards the end is fitting and I'm surprised I had not heard it in any of the other tracks at this point. Production could have been a spoiler on this one, but I preferred the arrangement here.
  4. 0:59 - The melody from the original comes in and I think it is the same sample as the game. If you're planning on submitting that, you're gonna need to change to a different sample or instrument, because that's directly from the original game just sped up some. That also applies to the other ones you used later on as well. https://ocremix.org/info/Submission_Standards_and_Instructions See section 4 and 5 of the standards for more details. The drums are very static the whole way through and could use variation to make them more interesting and keep the track moving. The track could also really use more dynamic changes, you give a textural change, but the dynamics stay mostly the same. Fade-out ending after 4 minutes doesn't feel good either. A more definitive ending would be ideal. I'd like to point out 2:28-2:57 because you start introducing your own flavors and ideas to the track, that's the thing you wanna be doing! Add more to it like that!
  5. Very chill and lush texture. Quite enjoyable. Production sounds better on this one, compared to the last. The kick is not overpowering this time :) I am feeling the source plenty here, again like the previous i'd like to hear more of your own ideas imparted onto it. Could be things like more melodic development, countermelodies, reharmonization, a new original section maybe. The dynamic level stays pretty constant throughout as well, some contrast there would be good. You did a good job of delivering textural contrast. Since this stays relatively sparse throughout the track adding more energy as you go along would be really helpful. You do change things up texturally at the right times, so the 4 minutes does breeze by, but it could really go to the next level with more (see earlier comment about adding more of your own). The feel is mostly the same as the original, which there isn't anything wrong with, it just means you need to add more of your own flavors and spices to get it by. Really consider that if you plan on submitting.
  6. This really encapsulated the warmth and inclusiveness of Mr. Rogers. It brings so much joy and happiness to me when I listen to it that I can't help but smile. I'm really glad you kicked my butt in the third round of the compo with this, and I'm glad it's on the front page.
  7. The main issue I've noticed is the imbalance between the percussion and the rest of the parts. The kick is much louder then the rest of the parts. While the original source does go ham with that decending arp through the whole track, it would be nice to get a break from it or a change of pattern. Something just to give some contrast to the texture of the piece. You do a good job of changing the other parts up at good times to keep the interest going especially with it being a longer piece. When we get to 3:50 in particular it's lovely because the textural change feels so impactful. It does feel very much like First Steps still because the sound design choices feel very similar to the original too. Aside from the kick being too loud, there really isn't much else "wrong" with it. If you plan on submitting to OCR I would strongly considering adding some more of your own variation and vibe to the track. Also, some more humanization, especially with note velocities. I enjoyed the track's mellowness. It is pretty.
  8. Big departure from the other WIPs I've heard from you stylistically. 1:09 the descending chromatic line doesn't work for me since we've had so much stuff within the key up to that point. To suddenly have the chromaticism it stands out too much. If you were to prepare it by having other stuff from outside the key or chromatic lines prior it would lessen the impact. The crescendo of the tremolo strings to start sounds very nice. I like the short vocal phrase included right before we get the flute 0:15-0:22, it would be cool if you could expand on that some more. At 0:32 the new section starts, and it feels like an abrupt cut in the audio from the section prior. Maybe there's no reverb tail carrying over or just a note that's truncated when it should be ringing out and then playing a decrescendo? See if there's a way to smooth out that transition. All of the parts, especially the solo flute need humanization. After 1:01 using the articulations with staccato notes helps the realism a little bit, but still it's very stilted and doesn't move like a human would. Velocity and dynamics in that part are what stand out as needing growth and change. I totally understand if you're still just in the writing phase and haven't got to that yet :) 0:32-0:58 pay close attention to the flute phrasing here. A real performer would yell at you for not giving any spots to breathe! Exaggerating the end of phrases with a spot of silence from the flute can allow the sequencing to sound more real. If you also add tempo reduction (ritard) at the end of the phrase it can also help with drama and a human feel as well. Arrangement has a solid start, and I'm not sure where you're going next. Devil will be in the details of getting this to sound real. Good luck :)
  9. [This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!
  10. The piano being panned right feels weird to me. Since we talked on discord and you gave me some info about the pitch correction you did, I'd like to expand on that. I think there are still places where the sax performance needs some more attention with pitch correction. 1:37-1:44 sounds like it's under the pitch. Then it jumps up to 1:45 where the pitch is right, but the blend of the two is close, but could be better. Generally the tenor sax (panned left) sounds like it's probably the one to sink down on pitch more often then the alto. This seems to be the case most often on it's lower notes. 0:17-0:31, 0:40-0:41, 1:31, 1:35, 1:39 are spots I would double check pitch on 0:34 on the alto, there might be a pitch correction artifact coming through. Generally you're looking to have parts blend with each other if they are supporting, and when they are leads they should stand out. 2:52-end does sound good and that's what you should be shooting for. I know Lucas is willing to rerecord for you, and I think the first half could benefit from it. Have him focus on blend of the two parts when the notes aren't moving but are being held out, that's when you can really hear when the pitch doesn't come together. He's really working hard on improving his performances and they have come a long way in the last year. Once you do get that, try working on a mixdown of parts that allows the listener to follow the melody and lets the background elements be supporting. You got this! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you.
  11. [This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!
  12. Welcome to the forums @SlickWiggler The one word I would use to describe this track is space. There's a lot of empty space in mid-ranges of the the track (around the 300-800Hz range) that needs to be filled in. This is making the track feel thin to me. For the majority of the track there's only 2 elements going on, drums and bass. The upper elements that get introduced later into the track are quiet and unfortunately don't feel like they fill that space in. They absolutely could be used to help fill that space if you work with them. Increase their volume, add stereo widening to them. You could also experiment with taking one of those parts and dropping it down an octave or two to see if they fill out that mid space more. I'd recommending finding a track you want this to sound like and comparing them side-by-side to try to get a matching fullness/sound. The kick is coming through clearly to me, so I'd say the side chaining was successful. If anything I feel you might have lost some weight by increasing the high-pass too much. That's without hearing the previous version for context. I'd also like to comment on the arrangement: I feel you did a good job here, both themes are used in creative ways and weave in and out of each other seamlessly. Don't give up, this is a solid arrangement. The potential is definitely there. Focus on getting that production up, and filling in the track more.
  13. I'll be there! Looking forward to attending for the first time!
  14. Got a last minute entry in. This compo was a great learning ground for me when I was first getting started. I'm grateful that I had the compo as a means to experiment and get feedback as a new arranger. Knowing that it this was coming to a close, I had to do something even if it is small. Thank you to @Bundeslang, @Doulifée, @Rexy and anyone else I may be forgetting who ran PRC at some point.
  15. I apologize, I really should have pointed out that. Absolutely, there's improvements on this from what I remember in the initial version that I heard. Especially the ending. Seriously @Kyaku, I do enjoy your work and am impressed with your growth with only a few years under your belt.
  16. New intro works, I get the "starting line" count-down beeps. 0:46 left-side guitar with delay is too heavy on the delay and there's some overlap going on. Could just adjust the wet/dry amount to reduce the effect from being as heavy. More subtlety on the delay would go a long way to cleaning it up. There are some elements that seem to be hard panned to both left and right that should probably come away from the far edges. It's good to have some panning, but going too far can be a little disorienting. Particularly the guitar on the right side (starts at 1:40), and whatever is on the left side that starts at that same time too. They don't have to be centered, just bring them back towards center try going 50% back and go from there. New ending is better than the previous one. My only complaint on it (and it's not even a real complaint), is that I was expecting one more beat of melody at 3:09 on the downbeat (1) of that measure. Fine as is, but it would give a more complete and resolute ending to me. The only other nitpick I could make is more velocity variation within patterns. Mix sounding pretty good overall. Don't have any comments on levels. Good luck.
  17. Lead does feel just a little too loud. 1:13 I'm thinking a transition into this section is needed, because the previous one ends with a strong conclusion and then the next section is such a big contrast to the previous one that it almost is a brand new song. 1:24-1:26 that descending line! That's perfect, it alludes to the source! If you figure out more things like that to do, go for it. 2:31-2:45 Consider adding a crescendo to the warm background pad to help lift up the ending with some more energy. Address those things and I think you're done! I hope you're proud of this because it's come a long way!
  18. [This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!
  19. 0:00-0:36 source A section 0:37-0:54 original 0:55-1:13 source 1:14-1:53 original, wasn't picking up the source here (if i'm wrong let me know) 1:54-2:12 source A section 2:13-2:48 source with interpretation and embellishments fit in 2:49-3:06 fade out that's the intro with sleighbells added. 124/183 I was a bit generous with not chopping my count during the final section. Amount feels appropriate though. Levels feel so much more balanced now, especially in the bass. In the 1:14-1:53 section, it feels like a good opportunity to find a way to connect it to the source in some way. 2:12, 2:14, 2:21, 2:23 I'm hearing something funny in the low end, maybe bass notes that are too close to another instrument (in range). 0:19 the lead that starts there could probably have the delay on it lessened, when you hear it during the final section (2:13-2:48) there's a lot going on and it's adding too much. Don't get rid of it, just reduce the wetness or amount of echoes some. This is really close to done imo!
  20. [This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!
  21. Beyond your skill level?? What is that nonsense?? What's all that other stuff you wrote around it? That's all solo material! I don't recall if this was an issue in the previous version, but the section where the bass is the focus (0:54-1:14) gets very thin. I apologize if this is something I missed in the previous version. Having some of it be thin is a good idea for a textural contrast to the rest of the piece, but I would consider bringing in the pad that starts in the section following (1:15-1:54). That thin pad could fill the space that the bass solo section has and then also smooth over into the transition to the next section. Which brings me to the middle section (1:15-1:54). This is much better! The bells are nice and that low end mud is gone! Good job. I'm still hearing a lot of sustain/reverb wash in the second half especially when the tubular bells do the descending line (2:25-2:28 for example) I agree you probably went too far away from the source melody in the second half, but you have the right idea with what you were going for! Use the source melody here and do small embellishments instead of bigger gestures. Still feel like the bass in the A sections (0:09-0:53 and 1:54-2:47) could be brought out some more. Taking out the repetition really helped a lot too, it's much more palatable now. Good improvements.
  22. [This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!
  23. From 0:09-1:12 the bass is mixed quiet compared to everything else. When you get to 1:13 and the electric bass comes in, it's MASSIVE when coming from a quieter bass previously. I think those two things could be brought closer together in terms of weight/volume. 2:11-2:20 There's too much reverb or a ton of overlapping notes causing a wash of mud over the whole track. It could be the tubular bells too. Look into this and see what the culprit is. 1:36-1:53 has something disagreeing between the low bass pad that sounds more panned to the left and the choir-like pad. Could be close notes in a low range just making things muddy or a dissonance, very hard to tell. I agree with the judges too, you should really add some variation especially in the second half (2:21-3:05) prophetik music directly said this: Add embellishments to the melody, invert it, something! Or go a different direction and add your own solo over the top of the chord progression during that section. This could also be a benefit to do with the first half as well, do small changes to the melody after playing the same thing two times in a row. I'm a little confused by what seems to be "rock" drumkit, but there's an electric sounding kick. Just makes it feel really separate from the rest of the kit. The vibe is still cool, you just need to take it to the next level with the details.
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