Hemophiliac

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Welcome to the forums! Let's see what we have here. Thank you for posting the source, make sure you always do that on works-in-progress. I had to take time to really familiarize myself with the source because I really only know the major song that everyone knows from Undertale Evaluation: Right out the gate, the piano and it's effects added on top don't sound as good as the original, even though the original does have a very slight effect filter on it to make it sound thinner. Even with those piano rolls make sure you have some variation in the velocities of the piano notes so that they feel more realistic. I do like the expansion you've given us at 1:13, this is you making it your own! Good job, I like the vibe you're going for here. Kinda 80s synthwave-like sound. The major issue I have is the samples used. They sound very basic and unrealistic at times. The guitar, piano, and either baritone or tenor sax (can't tell which it is) are the two biggest culprits here. Much of the sequencing is rather mechanical and needs humanization. The percussion mostly stays the same throughout and could use variation as well as some light fills to help define the sections better. 2:37-3:02, I like that you went to add more of your own interpretation and melodic soloing. However during that section there are some chord changes or melody notes that don't fit in with the rest of the context, take a close look here and see if anything accidentally went outside of the key or chord you were intending because they are not working as intended. What I liked from this was the vibe, it's definitely a good idea. There just needs to be refinement on the arrangement, production, and some upgrades on the samples.

[This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!

I'd like to encourage you to read the submission standards and instructions. Under section 4. arrangement it explains what is being looked for. I can clearly hear that you've taken the Yakuza 0 track and added the drum loop from FIFA underneath it. Some effects, including filtering and audio clips were also added, but that's not changing the arrangement in the way that is explained in the submission standards. You need to be adding your own take on the arrangement, this could include (but not limited to): Also the final note sounds like it got cut-off partway through it (easily fixed) Even though what you have is cleanly produced, it is also very repetitive and could use more variation as well. I'd strongly consider that you think about those first two points from above before you consider submitting to OCR.

Please post the source. I can't evaluate it properly if you don't post it or say what it's a remix of.

I like the very subtle additions you have made here. Pretty neat. For example 0:36-0:43 violas or low violins with a new countermelody. Same with the string run 1:25-1:26. I really think you should give an extra beat or two of silence after the big forte ends at 0:59. Let that quiet/reduced part that enters after it have more weight if you let some silence get in between the parts. It could help create a stronger contrast. I'd love to hear something different between both main sections of the song because it's pretty much copy and paste A sections. From 0:00-0:59 and then 1:00-end are nearly identical! For example, add something or take something away, anything to be different and not the same. Between the sections you could create a contrasting B section that could make this your own too. Something that could help you take this to the next level. Watch attacks on instruments when they are playing the leads, slow attacks will make things sound fake.

Hats are strangely panned left, and are very hot. Bring them closer to center and reduce their volume some. Drums really could use a lot of variation in their patterns and drum fills could help with general track interest. Balance between the parts feels pretty far off, with the orch hits being quiet and the drums being loud. I'm hearing the bass from The Decent slowed down. There's some small interpretation going on due to that, cool. Fade out ending doesn't work for me, and there's about 2 and a half minutes of silence after that. Give the listener something to follow and focus on, we can latch onto that and keep interest throughout the song. Good luck.

Louder does not always mean better. Best place to start when mixing parts is to zero everything out and pull all faders down. Pick whichever channel is most important (usually melody) and bring that up to a good volume. Then choose the second-most important part and bring that up and balance it against the first part. Continue with each part until done, balancing against each as you go.

[This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!

Welcome to the forums. Evaluation: This is awfully quiet right from the get go. Had to turn up the volume a lot. The lead could also be louder so as to let the listener direct it's focus to it (they are close to where they should be now, so it won't take much of an increase in volume to get them where they should be). Those are some lovely pads you have going on, I like how airy they are. You absolutely want to add some modulation them so that they have some movement. It could be filter sweeps, vibrato automation, volume automation...something to keep them moving and less static. The biggest issue is the arrangement, it's pretty much the same as the original source. You're going to want to inject some of your own creative twists and turns into it to make it your own. Especially if you're planning on submitting to OCR. The ending leaves something to be desired and just...suddenly ends. Definitely could have something there that would give the listener a feeling of completion or finality. You can definitely use this as a starting off point to develop into something greater. Good luck.

I did notice the very subtle changes, but that's what they are subtle. Over a long period of time, subtlety can be good when there are other big changes and variation to accompany the subtlety too. Think about it this way. If it sounds subtle to you it's probably not noticed by the listener, and probably need to exaggerate some. Be intentional with your decisions. Good luck.

This is really cool! Good job doing a modern version of "theme and variations". The stand-out to me is how you managed to keep it moving with subtle variation and changes.

[This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!

Ok, I think you went too far in the other direction now. Though, that is a good thing! You got the low end much much cleaner. I can't tell exactly what you did to clean it up, but I think you should bring back some of that low end to the bass and kick so that it helps the track stay beefy (Not as much as the previous version though). I'm glad you went as far as you did because now you know how far both extremes are. Sometimes you gotta push it to find out where the right spot is! I think that the cleaning up you did make the lead (the FM rhodes/bell-type sound) in the first half feel louder than it is, or they just are louder than before...either way they seem louder than they should be now. Still clipping at 0:59. Also at 0:34 there's a tiny little blip on the left side that sounds clipping-like or maybe an artifact of something. Major props again for not giving up on this and continuing to refine it.

With regards to source usage, i'm barely picking up on the original in here. I suppose the piano melody is inspired by the source melody, but it's barely recognizable as such. I'd suggest to make the source more dominant and recognizable especially if you're considering submitting to OCR. If you haven't done so already, check out https://ocremix.org/info/Submission_Standards_and_Instructions Under 4 it says: As far as production goes, there are a few things I noticed that should be addressed. The hats are cymbals are mixed louder than the rest of the drum kit, and the snare and the kick are more buried. The bass is also very quiet and should be brought up. If you haven't done so, a compressor could do wonders to make the bass come through. The piano and drums could use humanization to make them feel more realistic. Vary the velocities of the notes so they aren't as close to the same as the ones immediately before and after them. Also nudge their start times forward and back just slightly off the gridlines (humans aren't perfect on every note!) The other issue I have is a compositional one. This is a long track that doesn't really go anywhere. You could cut 3-4 minutes off of the track and still have the same feeling achieved as it is now. The drum pattern hardly changes up, and there's no drum fills to keep interest or move the flow along. You do a good job of changing where the lead focus should be (going from piano to synth), but that still took a long while to get to that (almost 2:30 before it happens). If you want to keep the length of the track I suggest adding a contrasting section where the drums drop out or change their pattern to be more minimal. Instead of dropping things out for a section you could instead go for a higher energy section. Either way, it's up to you. The track just needs some contrast to keep the listener interested in what's happening with a long piece of music. Good job adding the vibrato on the synth later in the track, that's a nice human touch that does feel good. Overall there's work to be done before you send it in to OCR. Please consider what I've said before you do choose to submit.

Can you please post the source?

Your link is to a Naruto track, not Tekken 4.

[This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!

Some problems fixed, some new ones created. The centering definitely helped, and i'm not hearing the pumping anymore! I do like the new lead that starts at 0:16, but still not a huge fan of the one that it alternates with starting at 0:20. I like the new ending. It really helps wrap up the piece and doesn't just feel like "We're done" suddenly anymore. Good job. Also all new melodic embellishment that was added is great. At 0:59 the filter sweep clips or has distortion. At 0:25 there's a random cymbal-like hit panned hard left that doesn't feel like it's intentional. Accidental midi note placed into the piano roll and didn't notice it? I've definitely done that before XD Also the cymbals/hats are too loud, they are standing out quite a lot. I think they are the cause of the reason for 5k+ Hz being particularly hot in the mix. To me, 1:25-2:10 sounds way cleaner than the first time we hear the A section (0:02-0:34). I'm wondering if it's because the guitar is filling the low-end space a lot, because it's not present during 1:25-2:10. Still struggling with the bass and the kick, both sound like they are occupying the exact same space. Especially since there's a lot of sub frequencies going on between 42-98Hz. I think this range is likely a large cause of the muddiness.

DM'd on discord, thank you.

[This is an automatically generated message] I've reviewed your remix and have returned it to Work-in-Progress status, indicating that I think there are some things you still need to work on. After you work on your track and feel that it's ready for submission to OCR, please change the prefix back to Ready for Review and someone will review it again. Good luck!

I'm glad you didn't abandon this and decided to rework it with newer sounds. The challenge is getting the balance to work now. The leads are what the listener is trying to follow, the low end feels too big compared to the leads. Nice beefy drums, however they are over compressed and I'm hearing some pumping as well. Sounds like the kick and the bass might be fighting with each other. Drums may feel like that they have too much reverb, getting some reverb wash from the snare. All of those above factors are contributing to low-end muddiness, see what you can do to clean it up. I do like the call and response of the arrangement during 0:17-0:33, 0:43-0:56, and 1:56-2:09 however the panning on the leads is too wide, I'd recommend to bring them closer to center (Just try that with most everything, not just leads). It doesn't take much panning to have a positive effect on freeing up space. When you get really wide it can be disorienting unless it's very balanced. Also I'm not liking the new synth leads, they do feel basic and much older than the other parts used in the track. IIRC This was an issue the judges had previously. Nice resonant filter sweeps 0:33-0:40 and 0:58-1:13 Noticed something super subtle at 0:34 that may be clipping or some other unintended distortion coming though. Check it out and see if you can see anything there. tl;dr: clean up low end mud, sophisticate the leads, and balance the parts so leads are the focus.

Check discord for information!

Repeated notes don't have consideration to naming a chord. Having repeated notes just means that the sound of that particular spot will sound more like that one note, in this case the Bb is going to stand out much more then the other notes in the chord. In a vacuum you can call it either. What would really lead it towards having a better answer is the context of the piece and what comes before or after this. Generally you want to name a chord what it's function is supposed to be. Both of these two chord types are subdominants or predominants in function. They want to resolve to a dominant chord. Assuming this is in Bb minor (since you said Bb is the tonic), it's more likely to analyze this as C half diminished functioning as a iiø7 and then wanting to go to a dominant chord after this like F7 (V7) or Abdim7 (viiø7). Generally traditional theory doesn't really look at sixth chords in terms of function except for augmented sixth chords (which are subdominants). Here is info on augmented sixth chords, and may confuse you https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Augmented_sixth_chord Don't worry about naming chords unless it's really important to helping you understand the context of what's going on in the piece. If it sounds good, it doesn't matter what it's chord name or symbol is supposed to be. What I'm saying is don't get hung up on something that's not super important. Hopefully that doesn't confuse and helps understanding some.

Welcome! It's never a bad time to start trying to arrange music. Even just "canoodling" over other tracks is a good way to start expanding on the original.