Hemophiliac
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Posts posted by Hemophiliac
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I apologize, I really should have pointed out that. Absolutely, there's improvements on this from what I remember in the initial version that I heard. Especially the ending.
Seriously @Kyaku, I do enjoy your work and am impressed with your growth with only a few years under your belt.
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New intro works, I get the "starting line" count-down beeps.
0:46 left-side guitar with delay is too heavy on the delay and there's some overlap going on. Could just adjust the wet/dry amount to reduce the effect from being as heavy. More subtlety on the delay would go a long way to cleaning it up.
There are some elements that seem to be hard panned to both left and right that should probably come away from the far edges. It's good to have some panning, but going too far can be a little disorienting. Particularly the guitar on the right side (starts at 1:40), and whatever is on the left side that starts at that same time too. They don't have to be centered, just bring them back towards center try going 50% back and go from there.
New ending is better than the previous one. My only complaint on it (and it's not even a real complaint), is that I was expecting one more beat of melody at 3:09 on the downbeat (1) of that measure. Fine as is, but it would give a more complete and resolute ending to me.
The only other nitpick I could make is more velocity variation within patterns.
Mix sounding pretty good overall. Don't have any comments on levels. Good luck.
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Lead does feel just a little too loud.
1:13 I'm thinking a transition into this section is needed, because the previous one ends with a strong conclusion and then the next section is such a big contrast to the previous one that it almost is a brand new song.
1:24-1:26 that descending line! That's perfect, it alludes to the source! If you figure out more things like that to do, go for it.
2:31-2:45 Consider adding a crescendo to the warm background pad to help lift up the ending with some more energy.
Address those things and I think you're done! I hope you're proud of this because it's come a long way!
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0:00-0:36 source A section
0:37-0:54 original
0:55-1:13 source
1:14-1:53 original, wasn't picking up the source here (if i'm wrong let me know)
1:54-2:12 source A section
2:13-2:48 source with interpretation and embellishments fit in
2:49-3:06 fade out that's the intro with sleighbells added.
124/183 I was a bit generous with not chopping my count during the final section. Amount feels appropriate though.
Levels feel so much more balanced now, especially in the bass. In the 1:14-1:53 section, it feels like a good opportunity to find a way to connect it to the source in some way.
2:12, 2:14, 2:21, 2:23 I'm hearing something funny in the low end, maybe bass notes that are too close to another instrument (in range).
0:19 the lead that starts there could probably have the delay on it lessened, when you hear it during the final section (2:13-2:48) there's a lot going on and it's adding too much. Don't get rid of it, just reduce the wetness or amount of echoes some.
This is really close to done imo!
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Beyond your skill level?? What is that nonsense??
What's all that other stuff you wrote around it? That's all solo material!
I don't recall if this was an issue in the previous version, but the section where the bass is the focus (0:54-1:14) gets very thin. I apologize if this is something I missed in the previous version. Having some of it be thin is a good idea for a textural contrast to the rest of the piece, but I would consider bringing in the pad that starts in the section following (1:15-1:54). That thin pad could fill the space that the bass solo section has and then also smooth over into the transition to the next section.
Which brings me to the middle section (1:15-1:54). This is much better! The bells are nice and that low end mud is gone! Good job.
I'm still hearing a lot of sustain/reverb wash in the second half especially when the tubular bells do the descending line (2:25-2:28 for example)
I agree you probably went too far away from the source melody in the second half, but you have the right idea with what you were going for! Use the source melody here and do small embellishments instead of bigger gestures.
Still feel like the bass in the A sections (0:09-0:53 and 1:54-2:47) could be brought out some more.
Taking out the repetition really helped a lot too, it's much more palatable now.
Good improvements.
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From 0:09-1:12 the bass is mixed quiet compared to everything else. When you get to 1:13 and the electric bass comes in, it's MASSIVE when coming from a quieter bass previously. I think those two things could be brought closer together in terms of weight/volume.
2:11-2:20 There's too much reverb or a ton of overlapping notes causing a wash of mud over the whole track. It could be the tubular bells too. Look into this and see what the culprit is.
1:36-1:53 has something disagreeing between the low bass pad that sounds more panned to the left and the choir-like pad. Could be close notes in a low range just making things muddy or a dissonance, very hard to tell.
I agree with the judges too, you should really add some variation especially in the second half (2:21-3:05)
prophetik music directly said this:
Quotethere's some ways to improve that, including adding additional elements, varying your instrumentation throughout, altering chords, and messing with the melodic material itself. any of those changes would make a huge boost in the overall level of the mix.
Add embellishments to the melody, invert it, something! Or go a different direction and add your own solo over the top of the chord progression during that section.
This could also be a benefit to do with the first half as well, do small changes to the melody after playing the same thing two times in a row.
I'm a little confused by what seems to be "rock" drumkit, but there's an electric sounding kick. Just makes it feel really separate from the rest of the kit.
The vibe is still cool, you just need to take it to the next level with the details.
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Welcome to the forums! Let's see what we have here. Thank you for posting the source, make sure you always do that on works-in-progress. I had to take time to really familiarize myself with the source because I really only know the major song that everyone knows from Undertale
Evaluation:
Right out the gate, the piano and it's effects added on top don't sound as good as the original, even though the original does have a very slight effect filter on it to make it sound thinner. Even with those piano rolls make sure you have some variation in the velocities of the piano notes so that they feel more realistic.
I do like the expansion you've given us at 1:13, this is you making it your own! Good job, I like the vibe you're going for here. Kinda 80s synthwave-like sound.
The major issue I have is the samples used. They sound very basic and unrealistic at times. The guitar, piano, and either baritone or tenor sax (can't tell which it is) are the two biggest culprits here. Much of the sequencing is rather mechanical and needs humanization.
The percussion mostly stays the same throughout and could use variation as well as some light fills to help define the sections better.
2:37-3:02, I like that you went to add more of your own interpretation and melodic soloing. However during that section there are some chord changes or melody notes that don't fit in with the rest of the context, take a close look here and see if anything accidentally went outside of the key or chord you were intending because they are not working as intended.
What I liked from this was the vibe, it's definitely a good idea. There just needs to be refinement on the arrangement, production, and some upgrades on the samples.
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I'd like to encourage you to read the submission standards and instructions.
Under section 4. arrangement it explains what is being looked for.
Quote- Taking the original game audio and simply adding drum loops or using an existing MIDI file and assigning new instruments does not qualify as substantial or original arrangement.
I can clearly hear that you've taken the Yakuza 0 track and added the drum loop from FIFA underneath it. Some effects, including filtering and audio clips were also added, but that's not changing the arrangement in the way that is explained in the submission standards. You need to be adding your own take on the arrangement, this could include (but not limited to):
Quote- Modifying the genre, chord progression, instrumentation, rhythms, dynamics, tempo, or overall composition of the source material
- Adding original solos, transitions, harmonies, counter-melodies, lyrics, or vocals to the source material
Also the final note sounds like it got cut-off partway through it (easily fixed)
Even though what you have is cleanly produced, it is also very repetitive and could use more variation as well. I'd strongly consider that you think about those first two points from above before you consider submitting to OCR.
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Please post the source. I can't evaluate it properly if you don't post it or say what it's a remix of.
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I like the very subtle additions you have made here. Pretty neat.
For example 0:36-0:43 violas or low violins with a new countermelody. Same with the string run 1:25-1:26.
I really think you should give an extra beat or two of silence after the big forte ends at 0:59. Let that quiet/reduced part that enters after it have more weight if you let some silence get in between the parts. It could help create a stronger contrast.
I'd love to hear something different between both main sections of the song because it's pretty much copy and paste A sections. From 0:00-0:59 and then 1:00-end are nearly identical! For example, add something or take something away, anything to be different and not the same. Between the sections you could create a contrasting B section that could make this your own too. Something that could help you take this to the next level.
Watch attacks on instruments when they are playing the leads, slow attacks will make things sound fake.
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Hats are strangely panned left, and are very hot. Bring them closer to center and reduce their volume some. Drums really could use a lot of variation in their patterns and drum fills could help with general track interest. Balance between the parts feels pretty far off, with the orch hits being quiet and the drums being loud.
I'm hearing the bass from The Decent slowed down. There's some small interpretation going on due to that, cool.
Fade out ending doesn't work for me, and there's about 2 and a half minutes of silence after that.
Give the listener something to follow and focus on, we can latch onto that and keep interest throughout the song.
Good luck.
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Louder does not always mean better.
Best place to start when mixing parts is to zero everything out and pull all faders down.
Pick whichever channel is most important (usually melody) and bring that up to a good volume.
Then choose the second-most important part and bring that up and balance it against the first part.
Continue with each part until done, balancing against each as you go.
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Welcome to the forums.
Evaluation:
This is awfully quiet right from the get go. Had to turn up the volume a lot. The lead could also be louder so as to let the listener direct it's focus to it (they are close to where they should be now, so it won't take much of an increase in volume to get them where they should be).
Those are some lovely pads you have going on, I like how airy they are. You absolutely want to add some modulation them so that they have some movement. It could be filter sweeps, vibrato automation, volume automation...something to keep them moving and less static.
The biggest issue is the arrangement, it's pretty much the same as the original source. You're going to want to inject some of your own creative twists and turns into it to make it your own. Especially if you're planning on submitting to OCR. The ending leaves something to be desired and just...suddenly ends. Definitely could have something there that would give the listener a feeling of completion or finality.
You can definitely use this as a starting off point to develop into something greater. Good luck.
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I did notice the very subtle changes, but that's what they are subtle. Over a long period of time, subtlety can be good when there are other big changes and variation to accompany the subtlety too.
Think about it this way. If it sounds subtle to you it's probably not noticed by the listener, and probably need to exaggerate some. Be intentional with your decisions.
Good luck.
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This is really cool!
Good job doing a modern version of "theme and variations".
The stand-out to me is how you managed to keep it moving with subtle variation and changes.
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Ok, I think you went too far in the other direction now. Though, that is a good thing! You got the low end much much cleaner. I can't tell exactly what you did to clean it up, but I think you should bring back some of that low end to the bass and kick so that it helps the track stay beefy (Not as much as the previous version though). I'm glad you went as far as you did because now you know how far both extremes are. Sometimes you gotta push it to find out where the right spot is!
I think that the cleaning up you did make the lead (the FM rhodes/bell-type sound) in the first half feel louder than it is, or they just are louder than before...either way they seem louder than they should be now.
Still clipping at 0:59. Also at 0:34 there's a tiny little blip on the left side that sounds clipping-like or maybe an artifact of something.
Major props again for not giving up on this and continuing to refine it.
PRC Final - The Last PRC Round (Free Round)
in Competitions
Posted
Got a last minute entry in.
This compo was a great learning ground for me when I was first getting started. I'm grateful that I had the compo as a means to experiment and get feedback as a new arranger. Knowing that it this was coming to a close, I had to do something even if it is small.
Thank you to @Bundeslang, @Doulifée, @Rexy and anyone else I may be forgetting who ran PRC at some point.