Hemophiliac
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Posts posted by Hemophiliac
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Evaluation:
I'm getting early 2000s trance vibes as well as some semi-synthwave vibes as well. 1:55 the half-time is cool for a brief moment before getting back to the same vibe. Good way to break up the rhythm. Countermelodies are good throughout. Usage of the source is clear and I see how it translates to a synthwave vibe well.
From 0:00 to 0:22 it does feel like a synthwave bass. After 0:23 when the percussion comes in, it feels more like trance with a sorta analog-fm-esque bass instrument. Consider using a different bass synth or changing the drum pattern to be more trance-like or more synthwave-like.
Background synth pad could be fuller. Sounds like a filter automating swells on it, but the frequency of the high pass is very high making it sound paper thin. Also around 1:49 it's a bit weird to filter automate the melody, you momentarily lose a note here and it feels awkward.
Structurally we are taken on a journey from start to end. Melodically we are given more continuous flow and very little break in the phrasing at all. Even trading off the melody to another instrument can help break that up as well. Production on the bass and percussion needs improvement as well (clarity/compression/eq). They should work together and not fight each other. For now, I'm returning this to WIP. Let me know if you have any questions.
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Evaluation:
1:50 Has a sudden cutoff after the swell like there's no reverb on the string crescendo. Goes straight into the next section quickly and feels odd to me because of the sudden abrupt cutoff. I suggest putting slight pause after the cutoff and some reverb for a moment of "breath" before the next section starts.
From 3:15 to the end has a lot of very straight and continuous kick or low tom drum. Some more variety in the pattern wouldn't hurt.
You do hit 0db at the loudest point in the song, so you're definitely pushing it with the limiter.
Still love the textures and expressivity in the piece, and it builds nicely. Balance amongst the parts feels good. Take a look at those two earlier things I mentioned (should be easy quick and easy fixes) and then I think you'll be set. Great work!
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Evaluation: VMPYR KILLA
Ok, for the vast majority of the track this feels incomplete.
0:00-0:36 we get Vampire Killer with the prologue dialogue from SotN on top of it. Drums are different from the original but the rest is nearly identical to the source.
0:37-3:02 it's a two part track now, only drums and bass. This may be the same bass as the source as well. There should be more parts going on here, there's no melody, no harmony (only implied harmony from the bass).
3:03-4:19 we get the melody and bass from the source with added percussion.About 55% of the track feels unfinished because it's only two parts, need to fill in that space with something. To be honest, it felt like someone would be rapping on top of that section or doing something similar to that.
Fade outs are generally discouraged. They rarely work and often just leave the listener wanting more. This time it is unfulfilling.
What I would encourage you to do is fill in the space and add your own take on the source. What we have here is very conservative, when we do get the source; it's same melody and bass with added original drums. I do like the instrumentation you have chosen so far and this could develop into a very cool track when you add your own spices to the track.
Good luck.
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Hi friend, please refrain from posting multiple tracks in one thread. With that said, which one track would you like an evaluation on at this time?
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WOW, this is night and day improvement from the previous version. Great work cleaning that up! I really feel like the biggest improvement might have been making it mono, but nevertheless it sounds great!
Ship it! -
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Evaluation:
0:00-0:23 Source
0:24-0:42 Continuing the rhythm from the original here, with some of the progression of the source.
0:43-0:50 Source
0:51-1:12 Source
1:13-2:06 New material?
2:07-2:18 Source/interpretation
2:19-2:30 Progression from the source
2:31-2:52 Chord progression from the source I think
2:53-3:13 Fugue-like interpretation of source
3:20-3:42 Source passed around to multiple parts
3:43-4:04 Ending244 total, 146 of source. There's enough there. I think the debate would be if others agree with my breakdown. I could see the 0:24-0:42, 2:19-2:30 both being considered new material by others, because it doesn't immediately stand out as being from the source. It's possible it got a bit too far from it. If you don't agree with my breakdown, I would suggest including your own breakdown on submission.
At 3:14 I totally thought that we were about to get some X-Men the animated series cameo XD. The recordings are clean, and are sufficiently loud throughout. It also looks like a limiter was applied an there are a few areas that have the tops clipped off. Suggest backing off the gain a little bit before submission and you'll preserve the full dynamic without clipping those wave tops off. (0:57, 4:02 for example). Sounds complete otherwise.
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Thank you for adding the source, I suspected it was that track but I'm not as familiar with DWIV so I just wanted to double check that first.
Evaluation:
Arrangement feels fine, don't need to comment on that.This one is tough because of the production, also I haven't heard the previous version to be able to compare after reading the judge's previous decisions. From 0:00-1:24 the sub-bass/bass is completely indistinguishable because the acid arp is covering it up so much. I could be mistaken and the sub that I'm hearing around 60-65hz there is actually a part of the acid arp, but it's hard to say without seeing the actual stems and notation. This could be due to a few different things, and it's going to be up to you to figure out what is causing this. Some thoughts as to what might be covering it up or effecting it in this way: the acid arp has a lot of stereo presence, consider making it less narrow or even mono and other parts will cut through the mix better. The acid arp could just be taking up too much of the space in the same range as the bass, moving it up an octave might remedy this (probably not recommended unless absolutely necessary).
There's also a lot of headroom in the mix, it barely peaked at -6db. You definitely can bring that up for more volume.
This is close to being in a good spot, and the style feels like a throwback to the 2000s; pretty cool. Like the judges said before this is very dense, and could definitely use some cleaning up (mostly the acid arp being the biggest offender). Let me know if you need any clarification.
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Can you please post the source for this? Thanks!
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Evaluation:
As we discussed on my stream on twitch yesterday I love the atmosphere in this. What's here is very enjoyable. Also as you indicated it is pretty conservative.
This could really use some more stuff to fill in the empty sonic space, especially in the middle section 1:28-2:16 (despite that being a trademark of lofi). My suggestion would be additional pads or weird background noises. Things can be sparse, but if they are the sonic space should still be filled.Consider adding embellishments or variation to the melody on the final repeat (2:18-3:06) to add some of your own touches to it.
Definitely look forward to seeing if you decide to continue on with this one
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Evaluation:
Fantastic improvements everywhere! Great job cleaning up the muddiness of the previous version.Now that you cleaned up the soundscape a bunch 1:43-2:08, or quieter parts feel more barren. What I suggest would be to add a part to these areas or bring up the quiet subtle parts so that the space is filled more. In that section 1:43-2:08, as well as the ending (3:51-end) the synth pad underneath everything is feeling more exposed now and could use some movement. Suggestions for that could be volume swells/automation or filter sweeps.
If you want to take the arrangement to the next level I would suggest looking at the repeat (2:59-3:51) and adding variation to the lines to change it up in some way, this will help it feel less like it may have been copied and pasted from the first section.
The ending feels a little sudden and some of the sounds feel like they are cut off abruptly to the end.
Really pleased with where this is heading and I look forward to hearing where it goes next.
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Evaluation:
There is an improvement on the overall arrangement (new segue into original Mario theme), there are some very subtle changes to the breakbeat to help it from feeling too repetitive. Hearing some beat slicing around 1:10, (compared to the first version that was submitted). Not sure there has been a cohesion improvement between the parts in the mix, feels close to the same; but not a deal breaker for me (wasn't detracting too much for me in the first version). 2:50-3:30 the crash cymbal is a bit wild and could be tamed a little or used less (minor adjustments). I'd say the arrangement has likely been improved enough and has enough variation. I'd say tame or use less of that cymbal in the 2:50-3:30 section, and then you could probably throw this back to the Js.Good luck.
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As soon as I heard this one, it became an instant classic for me. Absolutely love everything about this, plenty of variation throughout and the style is fantastic. The guitars are clean, the synths are perfect for the genre. Will always jam this when it's sunset and I'm driving on the freeway going home.
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@jneen The link for the latest version is not working
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Evaluation:
Maybe went a little too far with the extreme vaporwave-bass like you said.
I'm clearly hearing both sources being used. The bassline from super metroid and the repetitive vamp from sonic 2, both slowed down quite a bit. It's really cool how you've managed to make them work together.
Consider having some variations in your second repeat of the themes in the second half 2:09 and on.With that said, the bass is absolutely huge and takes up a large part of the sonic space. Please tame it and get it to sit in conjunction with the rest of the parts so they work together. It could also use some clarity, some of the lower notes it plays get muddy. Not sure if it's the samples or synth itself but i'm hearing a buzziness on the left side, and it honestly made me think something was wrong with my monitors XD. If that's something you intended, try to make it sound more intentional and less subtle. I do like the pads used in the background, they are very pleasant and sound very vaporwave as intended.
The arrangement itself is the strongest part of what's going on here. Work on the production as noted and clean it up/refine it. Cool track, definitely has some potential with some work!
Moonsong (Cave Story) - Synthwave
in Post Your Game ReMixes!
Posted
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