The Damned

Snake has faced and defeated Roxanne of the Rustboro Gym. Rewarded with the first of four Badges, he learns that they have beneficial effects Pokémon, and now knows why DAD seeks them. But upon leaving the Gym with his prize, Snake witnesses a man dressed like a pirate shouting and running through the streets. Immediately behind him is an out of breath businessman, who seems strangely familiar... The Location: The island of Hoenn. The Objective: To stop Pokémon from being used against the world. The Target: The Elite Four, top ranked Pokémon trainer. The Reason: Because I'm fucking bored right now. Bare witness to Snake fighting against mercenaries, ninjas and terrorists (at some point) as he continues his adventure... NOW! I just remembered an old TV show that had the best episode recap ever. But daydreaming almost gets me spotted by a series of random people. So far, all these paths are filled with either bored natives looking for a fight or possible spies and mercenaries. Whoever they are and whatever they want, I should avoid them as much as possible. An obviously unhappy man in front of a house tells me of his troubles. It seems he and a work crew have been trying to dig a tunnel through these foothills for the general population. Flapcakes has again proven to be useful in securing supplies. Good work, soldier. Good work. If you had a vest and I had a medal, I'd pin one on you right now. Stidge is falling behind on her training. The "Rare Candy" steroid seems to do the trick, and she develops a new attack on her own. It's a basic maneuver, but it should be effective against lesser-trained opponents. These damn shrubs are blocking the way, and they are so think and full of thistles that I can't make my way past them. I need a way to hack them down... Wait, that Cutter fellow... he gave me something. Flapakes may be an expert at digging up items for us, but he still has to be able to fight by himself. Even a basic level of CQC will aid him, and hopefully, us, should we get into a prolonged battle. He takes to the shrubs like a psycho-murderer in a sorority house from a bad 80s movie. I wonder if I can train him to hold a knife... Cutting down other shrubs gives me a path to avoid some people hiding (very badly) in the trees. Flapakes seems to be enjoying his new training. Learning new skills is a serious morale boost for new recruits. Letting them put it to good use only increases their morale, and gives them more training, perfecting their skill. Another strange vial. I have yet to find out what these do. But for now, I will keep them. They may come in handy.

Fucking Safari Balls...

No, that's a totally reasonable opinion. It's wrong in every way, but totally reasonable. But seriously, Nintendo hasn't really been doing anything too drastic with their core franchises. Pokemon, Zelda, and a few others haven't really been doing anything significant from prior games. Only Mario has really been upgrading or trying something different from the norm (like the Party and Sports games). Even then, I think that's because Mario has been around long enough and done enough different kinds of games that even when we got things like typing games or shit like Hotel Mario, there was still enough good games that it didn't matter too much. We know Mario has been turned into other stuff. We expect it. Zelda, on the other hand, has a lot less titles under its belt. The ratio of good to bad is far more skewed. There are bad Zelda games, but only a few, and those were on the CDi, and not Nintendo-made. Everything else is fairly decent to "omg best game evar". So it makes sense that Nintendo isn't as confident about trying out new things with Zelda. Messing with the series could be horrifying to fans, and such a recovery could be difficult for Nintendo to do. Hell, even Wind Waker, a decent game on its own, was just an art style change, and look how much people bitched about it. It was the same story, the same weapons, the same characters, almost everything Oot had. But make it look different from before and all shit breaks loose. People still whine about it to this day, and it's been almost a decade since it came out. Now imagine what it would be like if they changed something that really mattered, like the characters or the setting, or even the general "feel" of it. People talk about a gritty/steampunk setting, and a third of the fanbase practically threw up upon hearing the very notion. Fuck, they can't even agree on that timeline bullshit, and that's something they made up on their own. Could you imagine the shitstorm that would happen if Zelda changed anything that actually mattered?

Nah, it's more like they dropped in references to it in LA. Richard is obvious, but Crazy Tracy seems to be more like Mandola in some ways, but they aren't exactly the same. But yeah, Link's Awakening = win of awesomenessity.

Actually, that's because three remixes were deemed "no good enough" by their remixers (due to personal standards, technical issues, or some other factor), and we decided that instead of waiting for them, it would be better to drop them for now and carry on with the 28 tracks we already had. It had nothing to do with anyone being dropped. The three remixes in question were done by people that still have other remixes on the album. And as for TheGuitahHeroe himself, if there ever is a second album, I'm sure he'll be near the front of the line for applicants, right? You will be, won't you?

Actually, if you can do a decent Snake, I'd like to get someone to help with making short videos for the Snake and Otacon scenes. At the very least, a few clips to help cement the proper mood.

I can't remember the name right now, but there was this flash game I played once. It was entirely turn-based, and was bout finding people so your little holdout could survive. You sent the right kind of people out of your fortress to do different things. Scientists would be used for making things. Soldiers were best at guarding the walls of the fort, and for clearing out buildings next to yours. Scouts were great at finding things like food and seeing what the condition o buildings were. Builders... they made things. And you had leaders, people that could keep morale high and recruit survivors from other parts of the town. I only played it once... for eight hours straight. I had to turn it off because it was becoming too engrossing. That was more engaging than a lot of other zombie games, especially the FPS ones that are flooding the market. If a simple flash game can make a zombie fan like myself interested that much, then Dead Island is going to have to really pull something good off to succeed. It can't just be another bland game.

Roxanne was sooooo into me, but she's too young and I hae more important things to do. But as I made my way out of the building... That pirate looks familiar... And so does the guy chasing him. Following him turns out to a reunion, of sorts, He's the man I saved back in the forest. He dresses the same as the people back at that Devon Corp building... if he's one of them, I may be able to use him to get in. A stray critter attacked s, but Steyr took it out before I could even issue an order. But that's not the important thing. His mutated right before me... He's bigger, stronger and faster than before, even with the training I gave him. And now he's got the razor-sharp claws to use it.

I approach her, ready for anything. She leads with the same rocky creature her subordinates had. Steyr makes quick work of it. I've seen armor piercing rounds go through boulders. These seeds that Steyr is shooting, though, seem to bounce right off of the opponent. But they are hitting hard enough to knock them out. This one seems to be some sort of scent-based creature. It might be able to sniff out its opponent's weakness and attac- never mind. Mission complete! One down, three to go... then I can get back to my original mission. As an attempt to spare her, she tries to bribe me with a gift. I have no interest in harming such a young girl, but I don't refuse her token. Way ahead of you there, missy. I've got three more to go, and there's plenty of training along the way. Yes, the taste of victory is exciting, but a true soldier knows that that taste is fleeting.

I have managed to find Roxanne's base of operations. The sign eluded my sight until just now. Once inside, I am greeted, quite enthusiastically, by a man by the door. He's a talker, and I can't help but wonder if he's trying to squeeze info from he. Time to find this Roxanne and get this badge of hers. Cunning. She has young boys act as guards by having them "train" in the corners. This way, she can keep herself concealed. The boys must be disposable... such disregard for life... it makes me sick. I once set off a rock slide to stop a convoy of trucks. The losses were heavy,and the cargo was lost in the river below. You men I have to fight her to get the badge? DAD didn't mention this part! Having Stidge chew on a living rock wasn't going so well. I decided to see if this "grass-beats-rock" hocus-pokus was true. Turns out, it is. Hmmm, the kid may be right. There's no sense in risking a fight when you can take the time to prepare for it. I give Reaper the Quick Claw. He's already fast, but this gives him an even greater edge. If Things go wrong, I will order him to take out Roxanne directly. I remember that I have another ace up my sleeve: that Technical Machine thing Otacon told me about. If it's compatible with any of my team, it could be useful in this battle. Steyr can now shoot seeds with the force of a bullet! With training, i may be able to use him instead of a gun... or maybe even as a gun! Time to see what this seed-spitting lizard can do...

The upstairs gives no clue to Roxanne's location. No one ever appreciates the work of those that support the soldiers. For every man or woman on the frontline, there are dozens of mechanics, medics and staff that keep things running smooth for them. Even the lowliest cook at the mess hall is helping the effort. I salute the woman, and take my leave. A break! Turns out these "badges" offer some form of control over the bio-weapons. Something about them makes them more loyal. But trading them seems risky. What if they welch on the deal and take yours before you know it. But the extra growth could prove to be a benefit... If I can find someone that I can take in a fight, should they try anything... This place might be the answer. Small defenseless girl detected! Beginning trade! Objective complete! Hardy, eh? I wonder if he knows those two detective boys back in the States. Like, radios, shoes, BIOLOGICAL MONSTROSITIES? I'm in the area, I should take this opportunity to see what's going on at this Devon Corp. The guard to the offices is too big to deal with on my own, and he could have back-up in a second's notice. I'll have to sneak in somehow.

This "Devon Corp" seems to be big business on this island. I've never heard of them before. Must be just starting to get a foothold in the world, starting with here. A local child has given me a specialty containment pod. I don't know what's so special about it, but it might be a good idea to keep it. The other people in his building dispense info on Devon Corp like they're made out of brochures. Nothing valuable, but at least I have a better idea of what I'm facing. Hmmmm... I know that Otacon said no weapons, but a machete is also a farm tool. Perhaps I can find one here, just as a back-up. He keeps talking, but I'm only hearing one thing: a new weapon for me! Or rather, my pokahmon. I can already see Reaper covered in razor blades, swooping around, slicing everything to ribbons. IT'S GLORIOUS. I heal up my team, just in case. A child soldier training center! I better have a look inside... Another weapon for my team! It seems this one is a quick-strike weapon. Much like my own hands, if I say so myself. Another building, another chnace to find my contact. War makes strange creatures of us all.

Finally making his way of the forest, Snake has arrived at the front gates of Rustboro City, where he must make contact with Gym Leader Roxanne. DAD has requested the Snake bring him four "badges" from around the island. What purposes do these badges have? What about Snake's primary mission? Returning to the adventure, right... NOW! For a place that has been twisting science and nature together, this place seems to be proud of it. Perhaps this is one of the main distribution nodes for the bio-weapons... Unstable DNA! Mutations! This is just like something out of a video game. I will start my search for Roxanne by asking the locals about her. This house is as good a place to start as any other. Nintendo found out I was doing this, and they send me . Isn't that nice of them? It's been a while since I last heard from Mei Ling. Good to know I still have friends, somewhere. If I don't stop this, she will end up as a front-line soldier when she grows up. Cannon-fodder for the men that treat the world and the lives of people like toys. Not on my watch, soldier. I decided to stock up on supplies again. My reserves aren't very big, so I should maintain them as well as I can, as often as I can. The man that owns that boat I found earlier... too bad I can't make use of it now.

I have a 4.1 (the bass is like, bigger than all the speakers combined. I can make the monitors on my desk move when it's up all the way), but I put the left and right ones together so I get more stereo than surround (nothing I do requires anything more than stereo anyways, do fuck it). As for software, Winamp is perfectly fine. It's not like there are any real differences between programs. I also have some Sennheiser headphones I use occasionally, but that's more for when I need to keep things quiet.

Spotting another civilian ahead, I quickly turn and pretend I am checking this sign. Knowing is half the battle. The other half is strategic bombardment from high altitudes. My ruse with the sign is effective. I managed to avoid another girl right behind the first one. But the bridge across the pond reveals the reason for the sign I just read. Twins. They usually have psychic powers, don't they? Am I going to have to plug into the second controller port to defeat them? The answer is "no". And you don't know me, either. Get it? This times 6. He had 6 fucking Magikarps, and not one of them know any kind of attack. MAGIKARP, USE SPLASH! Defeat is no reason to vomit all over yourself, soldier. Another path hidden nearby leads to more items. I'm almost as good as Flapcakes is at finding supplies. Oh, Flapcakes, don't look at me like that. I was only kidding. Here we are. The outskirts of Rustboro. Somewhere in here is my contact, Roxanne. But where?

Item secured. It's some form of narcotic, I think. Best not to let the critters get their snouts into this stuff. The exit out of the forest is in front of me. The training we had before coming in has paid off. Most encounters were easily fended off, and the few battles with the native population weren't much worse. But that pirate fellow bothers me... those colors really don't work with his complexion. OK, this time I know I can show the team how to incapacitate a target. This time, there are no twigs or branches or anything to stop me. The effects of eating giant bugs on your stomach, on the other hand... I may as well have let off a flashbang grenade. Snake: So, any of them can learn it? Otacon: No, actually. Some species can only learn certain attacks. You should use the Technical Machine on one of your pokémon that matches it best. Snake: And how do I know that? Otacon: Each species of pokémon have different genetic traits. Your Treecko, for instance, has certain strands of plant DNA. The attack you just got is a based upon plant seeds. See if they're compatible! Snake: Alright, Otacon, if you say so... but, uh... how do I use these things? Otacon: Maybe they have to eat it? In the end, I just decided to deal with it later. Rations replenished. I once knew a woman that run a flower shop in Paris. She turned out to be one of the biggest information brokers in Europe. She dealt with everyone; the US, the Cubans, the Russians... I should recon the building before entering. Who knows what's going on in there. Recon paid off. I found more supplies, and determined the flower shop was harmless. Flowers... or classified information? I'm on to you

He leaks intel like a Chinese safe in a swimming pool. GRENAAAAAAADE! Oh, it's another kind of containment pod. False alarm, everyone. And just like a summer breeze, he was gone. For a business man, he was quick and light-footed. Perhaps... too quick and light-footed. One day, I will fight someone here that isn't an idiot. I was planning on showing the troops how to snap a neck, and this seems like as good a time as any. The secret is to approach quietly, and then do it in one quick motion. First, to get up behi*SNAP* This may be why I had to take Jungle Survival three times... A strange depression in the grass catches my eye. It turns out to be a crude hunting trap, probably set up by a local. It goes off and Syrup gets caught in it. But I do mange to find another containment pod. I've run low on rations. Recent developments, however, may have fixed that. Bugs are supposed to be high in protein. Avoiding another civilian puts me right in front of another object. I almost run over to it, but then I remember that this would be the perfect time for Murphy's Law to pop up.

From my times in unstable regions, I automatically think every suspicious object on the ground is a booby-trap. But so far, nothing has blown up in my face. All of these pods contain useful items. Murphy's Law might have something to say about this... I've noticed a lot of these ridges along my journey. It's like someone put them there to prevent travel in certain directions. BUT WHO? Slow, lazy and eventually grows into an even fatter, lazier ape-like creature. Named after someone I once knew. Fuck you, Rebecca. I doubt you're reading this, but fuck you, any way. Only a few, and I plan to eat one later if I have to. Pirates? But we're nowhere near the coast of Somalia! Or San Fransisco! No, I don't. But I don't want Otacon to give me another one of his nerd lectures. He brings out diagrams and charts, and he has a laser pointer. He never lets me play with it. But neither one of us has a ship. Hard work, training, and proper hygiene will take you far, smelly pirate man.

Snake has just entered the foreboding Petalburg Woods, a thick, dense forest filled with untamed biological weapons. Behind every tree, behind every bush, with every step they take, danger awaits. Only their skills and strengths will allow them to escape unscathed. Even then, there are some that will try to stop Snake from making his way to Rustboro, where a new contact must be met. Roxanne, Gym Leader of Rustboro, has an item that DAD requested Snake fetch for him. What use will these "badges" have, and can Snake gather them quickly enough to complete his mission? The Mission: To prevent bio-weapons from leaving the island The Stakes: World stability and ecological disaster The Solution: Snake and his hand-picked team of Pokémon The mission resumes... NOW! Otacon couldn't get me any recon on this place, but as long as I remember my training in forest and jungle survival, I should be fine. The first step is to move like a ghost. No sound, no trace. Every footstep like a falling leaf from a tree. I am the wind, and *SNAP* This, but six times. Seriously, every one of them died in one hit. Proper supply management can make the difference between victory and defeat. Learn from your mistakes... if they don't kill you. I once survived off of mushrooms when I was stuck behind enemy lines for a month. At least... I think I was behind enemy lines. It's very foggy. I remember fighting a giant purple stuffed worm in space, with a tuning fork, while there was a rock committing Japanese-style suicide with 61 pairs of scissors. I was rescued by a team of Green Berets, and was debriefed on the giant worm by my superiors. ocre and StarBLaST were arguing about something on IRC, and I stopped them by suggesting this name. The response was something like "oh god, now they're naming mushroom after me", and StarBLaST and ocre were friends again.

I guess I can grab a spare one. I'll have to do it on Monday or Tuesday, but as long as you remind me I need to get one for you, it shouldn't be a problem. But after that, I'm out of games to download stuff to.

Thank you, all. I hope you're clicking on the various Youtube links in orange, as they're part of the whole experience. More later. I'm averaging about 100 screecaps at a time, and then I do some basic editing to get that down to around 50 to 60. Plus, OCR only lets you post ten images at once. I was originally going to do Metal Gear Solid: Tetris Ops, but the name didn't work out so well. Though, I guess a more poképun-filled title would have been "Metang Giaru Solid: Pokéball Ops" but that would make it too hard to photoshop the original cover. I only have basic image editing skills, and can't draw worth shit. Again, thanks to all the positive comments. If you want to help in any way, feel free to do so. Even just suggesting what to capture next or a name is fine.

Just as I promote Flapcakes to RAO, he then disappoints me by digging up old Halloween junk. That's not the same image twice, that's two instances, right after each other, where Flapcakes came up with Rare Candies! Candy GET! Perhaps the promotion has gone to his head. Maybe it was too early to place that kind of burden on him. It was my fault for not- Snake: They're making drugs that look like candy? No wonder the children of this island seem so odd. Otacon: No, Snake! They're meant for your Pokémon! If you let them eat one, they will growth faster, making them stronger, faster and smarter. It's some sort of chemical cocktail that gives them extra nutrients. Go ahead, try one out! Snake: They're kind of hard to chew, and they taste like Chinese wallets. Otacon: Not you, Snake! Your pokémon! Give it to your pokémon! Like I said, Flapcakes has been busy. I'll need to keep my team well-developed, but if there are giant bugs in the forest, Reaper eats bugs for breakfast. As his strength increases, so does his skill. He's figured out a way to hit things with the force of his wings. Combine that with a good running... er, flying start, and the impact could be enough to take out just about anything we encounter. How did Reaper do that, you ask? Simple! As a pokémon levels ups, it can learn new moves. Most of them are basic attacks, but you also get supporting moves like Growl and Howl, as well as others. Each kind of pokémon can learn different moves as they level up. The screens you just saw show the move list Reaper has. Pokémon can only know four moves at a time, sand he has five to choose from. Wing Attack is a better move than Peck, but Focus Energy isn't too helpful in his case. I opted to replace it with Wing Attack. Yes, it has two Flying attacks, but it's still early in the game, so shut up. Some of the locals are so casual about these animals they take fighting with them for granted. This guy seems to get some kind of kick out of it. And he's willing to bet money on it. Troi seems to have no problem with shredding the minds of her enemies. I have to make sure she remembers that I'm not one of them. Because you only had one bio-weapon, and you didn't use it tactically. Plus, you're a spoiled rich boy with bad taste in clothes. You also can't buy loyalty, or trust, or honor. DIS-missed. The forest. God knows what's in there, waiting for us. On with my mission...